Aqil

Mohamad Aqil Iskandar 

 

Aqil = Akal

Iskandar = Raja

Akal seorang Raja.

amin...

 

The only lady

 

know that I'm the only lady in the family.

*yes, there's 3 beds in the house, but we cramp all in one bed.*

Pandemic Birth

Woke up early for the day, to get ready for my weekly pregnancy check-up, with my back straining and my feet wobbly. As I sat down to pee, I notice a large amount of discharge fluid on my undies... hmm.. It doesn't smell much, and it's not pee.. maybe I'm just tired, coz sometimes, I get watery discharge coming out if I overwhelm myself.

Took a shower, listening to music, and got out to get dress, and there it is again.. watery discharge. Did a quick google and gasp...

"Cayang, let's go to the hospital."

"Why?" zzz(-.- )

"I think my water broke."

"Serious??" (o___o )

Since my baby passed his due date, our hospital bag was already packed up weeks prior. So now, we just get up and get going!

See, because it's the pandemic, a child below 12 isn't allowed to be in the hospital, so what my husband can do is to just drop me off at the gynae entrance and go home. It literally felt like he's dropping his kid off to college. LOL!

Before he went home, I had to get check if I'm really in labor. So, they had to check my dilation (Ya Allah, I hate this part), and I was only 2cm open, but my water did break, so I need to get ready for birth. Hubby went to pay the deposits, kiss my boys goodbye, and to pray for me since I have to be all alone now. I was really sad about not being able to be with my hubs at that time, but I have to be strong for my soon out-of-belly baby.

I settled down at my ward and change into the hosp gown. I felt fine at this time and was a little hungry. The doctor came and told me that they'll come and check my dilation again at noon. I ask if I'm giving birth today, and they predicted that I'll give birth in the evening. I was already imagining meeting my long awaited baby tonight. So, as I was nervously waiting for the time to come, I ate, made few calls, post IG stories, and call my boys at home. Around this time, I started to feel tiny tiny contractions. I could still laugh and smile at this time.

At noon, the doctor came and check my dilation again and said I'm ready to give birth now. I was wheeled to the labor room, where I was poked and pierced, and stuffed with an enema. All human dignity has gone down the drain, they even stuffed my urethra with a pipe and told me to pee. it was freaking weird!!! NEVER AGAIN!!

They asked me again and again if I wanted an epidural, and so many times I declined... until my contractions started to get stronger, and I got scared of losing energy and unable to care for my baby after the birth since I'm his only family with him right now. Also, because I got scared of being in pain alone without my hubby. Basically, I gave in and took the epidural.

After the epidural, I vcall my family again. Hubby was sending all the love and support he could give through the screen, and Mika being Mika lah.. so immersed with his toys, oblivious of what's going on. hahaha!

As contractions got stronger, I focus on embracing the pain. I remember all the advice my family and friends gave me, I sniff the essential oil that I rub on my tudung. The contraction got stronger and stronger, I felt like dying, literally. The pain was too much! I grabbed anybody's hand at that time to 'share' my pain.

Nurses and doctors came in and check my dilation, it was 8cm already, then asked if I feel like pushing. HECK YEAH, I WAS!! I pushed with all my might, trying to keep posture and compose. I try to experience every second of the birth, which I could with the help of the epidural. I kept on pushing, even when I felt it's too tight. I was already worried if my baby would suffocate if I push too late. I wanna go forward in time when I have my baby in my arms. I told myself, "just a little bit more, he'll be in my embrace. both calm and relieved." ONE. LAST. LONG. PUSH.

17 October 2020 | 5.46pm | 3.28kg 

A baby boy was born.

I gave out a long sigh of relief. They clean my baby a little and put him on my chest. He was blue, then pink, face and body all scrunched up, sobbing. All pain was gone, though, the doctor was busy pulling the placenta out, drain all amniotic fluid out, and scooping out coagulated blood, but I feel almost nothing, thanks to the epidural. They took back my son for measuring and cleaning up.

As they were stitching me up (1st-degree vaginal tearing), a few trainee doctors (men and women) came to watch the suturing, which was so awkward and funny. But it wasn't the time to get shy of men watching my vagina. It was torn and busted up. I threw my dignity so far since the 1st dilation check. I was just a subject matter. >.> I just lie there, legs wide open, looking at my baby on the UV ray table.

After the doctors were done, I was given milo and biscuit and was left alone to gain my energy again. I made a video call to my husband (who was worried sick, because I wasn't replying to his texts. DUHH.. tgh teran kot). He was obviously very happy. He wanted to come to the hospital to meet his new son, but I wasn't sure where he can leave Mika, since kids aren't allowed in.

Nurses came to help me get back to my ward to rest. They told me to be careful because the epidural is still in effect, which can make some part of me numb. I thought I feel fine, but the nurses insisted to support me, which luckily they did because as I started to stand up, my left leg gave up on me. I couldn't feel it!! There was no sensation to it! I laugh it out, and the nurses wanted to cry as they thought they could've dropped me. haha!

I was wheeled in bed back to the ward with my new baby in my arms. Hubby called, telling me he's on his way. I asked where's Mika, he left him at the neighbors' house. He insisted on coming! hahah!!

Hubby came and azan my child, bought food for the night. he was so happy with the birth. He praised me and thanked me, kissed me, then ignored me for the baby >.<.  He told me, I looked much better and energetic than my first birth. It's probably because I'd already known what to expect, also, there's the epidural again... He went home soon after.

That night, everything felt surreal, This morning, the baby was still in me, and not even 24hrs later, the baby was in my arm. 

I was discharged from the hospital the next afternoon after all the vital check-ups.

Now, we're a family of 4 ;)