before monday... do smile... ;)

Ad In A Long Island Shop: 
Guitar, for sale........ Cheap....... . .......no strings attached. 

Ad In Hospital Waiting Room: 
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time! 
On a bulletin board: 
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives. 

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...
I Gave Up Reading 

My Grandfather Is Eighty & Still Doesn't Need Glasses....
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle. 

You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. 
Or when your Son starts To wipe It Off 

Sign In A Bar:
'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.' 

Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way..... 

Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman. 

The Reason Men Lie: 
Because women Ask too Many Questions.. 

Getting Caught 
Is The Mother Of Invention. 

Laugh & The World Laughs With You,
Snore & You sleep Alone 

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe 
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us. 

Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit :
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.. 

Sign In A Restaurant: 
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager...