Wild One (1)

Here is one of few stories about my stranger danger experience, before I start diving into my current life long relationship with my hubby. In short, I was young, single, and very stupid, apparently.

STRANGER 1

It was a hot day during one of my diploma semester breaks. I was home alone, bored, and lazy to hang out with friends, so I decided to hit the pool.

It was noon, so the pool was basically empty. I love it when I have the whole pool to myself. Swam a few laps, and just sat down at a shallow and shaded part of the pool by myself.

I was just minding my business, bubbling and sinking half of my face underwater when I noticed a guy was swimming towards me. I didn't even realize when he got in. He asked if I was ok and I said yeah. He then laughed saying that he thought that I wanted to commit suicide in the pool and he didn't want the pool to be haunted (realizing that this is a VERY cheesy pickup line now).

We talked a little in the pool, and I thought he's very cute and has a great personality. He told me which unit he's living, and told me we should hang out. As great as that sound, of course, I declined. I mean, stranger danger, right? Haha!

We bumped into each other a few times more, chatted a little, had casual hangout by the pool sometimes, in a course of a few months. It was nothing serious, but I liked his company. One day, he invited me to hang at his place as he's having company over at his house and would love for me to come, as a neighbor. So, I was like, yeah ok. I thought it's safe if he's having friends around. He did invited me over a few other times before this. 

So, I went to his house, but odd thing is, there wasn't any shoes outside, no noise or an open door (anything that would indicate he has guest over). Eventhough, these are clear signs that I should not go in yet, I still went ahead and rang the doorbell, because, maybe I was just early.

He invited me in, and there was only him inside. I sat down nervously (and lowkey regretting, but I know he's a nice guy, so I try to chill) and offered a boxed drink (so, no worries about getting spiked drinks). There was a hint of a woman's touch in the decor, so I asked if he's living with somebody else. He then (AND ONLY THEN) told me about his girlfriend, who's JUST HAPPENED to be at Borneo for work. Great! Cute guy, taken and inviting another girl home with him. Or maybe he didn't take me as a woman at all, just a kid neighbour (I was 19 or 20 at that time). Whatever. I also asked if anybody else is coming, and he said no. I didn't ask anything else, I got scared. He asked if I wanted to watch a movie, so I just said sure. And of course, of ALL the movie CDs (it was the late 2000s, of course la CDs!), he went ahead and picked Good Luck Chuck. Yes. A soft porn-ish movie. Look it up!

I was already so weirded up. Why is this happening to me?? I seriously don't remember anything after that other than we sat wide apart from each other during the movie, we chatted a lil (don't remember what about), and I went home.

I came back home, swore my sister into secrecy, and told her what just happened to me. Being a sister, she was mad that I got away with that, while she's being hounded by our parent just by hanging out with boy in broad daylight (coz she's rebellious like that). I was just so grateful that I'm alive, wasn't harmed or raped and still a 'good' girl.

We bumped into each other a few other times after that, even met his girlfriend (and she was hawtt!!). After a few months, I realized I haven't seen him around anymore, so I figured that maybe he moved,  and that's that.

Moving Forward

Oh, almost forgot to mention,

I found a new job after more than 2 years of being a SAHM.

Mika is getting older and the more that I notice that he's missing something. Same age interactions. I tried to bring him out and let him mingle at playgrounds and play centers. He seemed awkward but enjoys it very much. He also lacks proper interaction response, meaning he doesn't know how granted It has only been only me and him most of the day.

So, I decided, it's time for him to go to playschool. But to do that, I need a job too. You know, to pay for the school.

So after almost half a year of actively searching for a proper job, I finally found one at WOBB. The location is a little far from our current home, but transportation wise, very convenient, plus there's a Montessori school very close by.

So, I got the job as a Video Editor, the company has been great, people are so friendly and accepting. I never had a company culture so proper and true. All this while my work has been the strongest survive (in both filming and event company).

Topet has never been happier that I finally got into the proper company system. He could relate so much with me now, even more than just talking about parenting. Of course, we had to sacrifice somethings, like unlimited holidays and breaks, but there's so much more benefits than the latter.

So, in the end, I got a job and a 'break' from being a parent for a while (don't get me wrong, I love being a mom, but I was seriously losing my sense of self-identity), Mika improving in his social skills and Topet is happy that I'm helping with the household income (meaning more money for saving, holidays and nice things). 

New Little One

Alhamdulillah...

I'm going towards my 2nd trimester with our 2nd child.

Mika is turning 3 years old at the end of this month.

I must say, we plan this very well indeed...

3 years gap.. huhu..

Speaking of family planning,

It triggers me that I was once told that,

"I speak as if I'm Godless..

To do family planning is not to trust Allah's plans."

I believe that Allah understands his servants' life sustainability, lifestyle, and needs.

We also need to limit ourselves every day to cope with living life in the city.

It's different compared to before.

People gave birth to many so, their kids can help them with work at a ripe age of 6.

We don't do that anymore nowadays.

We provide them until they're 18, sometimes even more.

From education, home, sustenance, protection, and affection.

It's a different age now,

So, we need to live in the current era.

"I trust that rezeki comes from Allah.

But, I also trust that we need to use our mind to limit ourselves"

In syaa Allah

"Ikat lah unta dan berserah la kepada Allah"

Togetherness

People say, even when you're with somebody for years, it's a different story once you get married. It won't be as beautiful, romantic anymore.

I'd just brush those words off my shoulders. Topet and I are too close and lovey-dovey to be dull.

Boy, how wrong I was.. but, it's not as bad as I thought.

Yeah, I admit, we got dull and grey. Everything is a routine, and everything is made to be untold (meaning, things done without much communication). It got boring and the marriage got so stale, so we decided to have a child, hence, MIKA...

Once Mika came in, the 1st few months was the most beautiful moment. This is going to spark our family up again. But things got wilder than before. We are both new and still wet behind the ears when it comes to parenting, so there's sooooooo much to argue about. We both just won't back down.

Even now, I realized, I got more aggressive and angry whenever I talk to my husband, especially when he won't even pay attention, but I too, notice my own flaws. I get more disagreeable and unpleasant, not to mention emotional and negative. I'm not sure why.

But, one thing for sure, no matter how I think I'd get aggressive, I keep in mind, not to keep unwanted feelings under, or I'm bound to explode (undesirable) or fall into depression (very scared of). I share things with my husband, either he agrees or not, he has to bear this with me, it's why got married in the 1st place; to share.

My husband, on the other hand, can be sooooo... urghh... (but I love him so much, it frustrates me). He pays so little attention when talking, and really don't know how to sugarcoat words (not that I ask a lot of). At least, to listen to my opinions, rather than forcing me to scream it out to you. This is exactly why I like to decide things myself because he can be so unattentive and wishy-washy... I wish to just snap his PS4 in half so he can stop playing GTAv ALL THE TIME.

Cayang, I really miss our small pillow talks, about simpler things like aliens and the cosmos. Luckily, I still get snuggles when I demand it... I really wish you'd pay more attention to me than looking for money all the time... sigh~

New Home

Alhamdulillah,

Our small family's rezeki.

Bought a home for the future.

Things can be scary now,

but we'll work hard to get things through.

In Syaa Allah

Mika Uthman's 1st Year

Fun Fact:

Most of these footages are Mika's first everything,

etc:-

first commando crawl

first crawl

first lemon

first ferry ride

first announcement

pretty basic stuff,

but as a new parent, 

every single milestone count!

Birthday Party

Dah lepas dah

saja letak sini.

note for future Mika

(if he ever finds this outrages blog)

YOUR IBU DESIGNED THIS!