Dear 19 Year Old Me

Dear 19-Year-Old me,

You just entered your new semester in UiTM, Perak. Last semester, everything was new. New best friends, new environment, new weather (the sweltering heat OMG). New things to learn, painting techniques, history, and how tiring it was to climb the studio every morning. Nevertheless, this semester, history will be made, in your life.

The nervousness built up as you enter your new class, new classmates, all sharing the same interest, I think? Don't worry, everyone was ultimately friendly. You'll enjoy most of your time in this class in your lifetime.

It was around this time, too, that you'll meet the love of your life. You really do like this guy. Who is he? He's that guy you first met in BEL class. He was clumsily elected as class rep, and you're his assistant. You wanted to get to know him because you'll be working together. You turned around to greet him, and you asked,

"Topi ko ni, busuk tak?"

which, then he replied,

"Try bau la."

You naively, amusingly did, by the way, you silly girl. He was shocked and called you weird. You were the first girl to even have the nerve to smell his cap. It was stinky, FYI.

You and Topet became friends, or more like, acquaintances. Normal classmates. He was super talented, though. And not to mention the ultimate goofball in class. You like being friends with him. But you weren't attracted. You're still fretting over that last ex-BF of yours in Dungun. But nevermind, you'll get over him. So over, that Topet and he became good buddies.

Soon, you'll find out that he has a girlfriend. you'll feel a little frustrated, but, why though, you asked yourself. You should be happy, or even, not think about it at all. You got this super hunk of a guy that has a crush on you. Trust me, you don't want this guy. He asked you for a kiss, and when you refused, he called you a coward. So, nope!

During mid-sem, you became best of friends. It started with Eno, texting you, as a prank or something. Then, Topet started to join the conversation (using Eno's phone to continue texting you). You talk about everything together. You feel proud when he praised your comics. You became so close, that you hung out almost all the time. Yeah, you'll feel guilty toward his GF, but you insisted you did nothing wrong since you're just friends. Besides, Eno is there all the time (3rd party since 2009).

Towards the end of the semester, it's time to go home. Semester break for a whole 3 months. You'll feel heavy hearted, sad, and lonely. The whole class was the best thing that has ever happened to you. Especially, Topet. He sent you in front of your dorm, for the last time that semester (with Eno, of course). Ayah will pick you up in the morning.

"Jumpa sem depan lah. Papehal, mesej je."

He then, turned his back, and waved goodbye, feeling like one of his anime characters, dramatically. You felt a little tug in your chest. You felt like crying. You like this guy. But, you still haven't realized it. But you will, starting the next semester, and the next, and the next...

... until you both eventually got married. You'll be having his child, In Syaa Allah in May 2017. Celebrating your 2nd wedding anniversary, and your 10 years of friendship with the love of your life.

See, you really like this guy. I know, I do. <3 p="">

I love you, Taufik Hidayat. Thank you for everything you've done for me.

Yes, Im human too...

This early morning, I've read an online article about how 3 girls of the same religion approached each other.

I personally considered myself as a stone heart-ed woman. I hardly care what others thought about me, and seldom take notice of those minor selfish happenings around me. But when i read this article, it made me reminisce the times before i wore my hijab.

The story of the article took place in a local college in Malaysia (obviously, because the scenario is familiar to a Malay environment). A young hijabless woman wanted to perform her prayers in a surau, but she accidently forgotten her telekung. She asked another young woman (who looks like she's done her prayer) if she can borrow her telekung for awhile. Instead of lending the hijabless woman, she dissed her so bad about her not wearing a hijab. She gotten so angry but she said nothing, until approached another well hijab-ed woman. Apologetically, she overheard the disses and scolded the mean woman for being rude and disrespectful towards another sister of the same religion. Egotistically, the mean hijab woman kept on saying that the hijabless woman is a disgrace to the religion and she doesn't belong in the surau. The nice woman reminded her that, even in hijab is worthless if their character (akhlak) is bad. The mean woman went away resentfully. The nice woman lend her telekung to the hijabless woman, and they prayed together. After their prayers, the hijabless woman thanked the woman who saved her, and the nice woman praised her thoughtfulness. The hijabless said she wasn't worth the praise as she is sinful towards Allah for not covering up. The nice woman said,

"The soul is much more beautiful if its protected. I understand that we need time to change, but bear in mind, that time doesn't wait for us."

This simple story almost brought tears to me. Why? Because it really happens.

I was one of the women who was often dissed and shun away by this community of hijabis. I dare to say that they are so pretentious, they stopped and was friendly as soon as they knew my celebrity parents. How 'nice'.

These narrow minded people are one of the reason i stay a low profile during my years of studying. One minute they hate you, talk behind your back, next minute, they want to be your best friend. fakers! Me, just being who i am, don't really take notice of what they had to say about me, but what's annoying is when they hover around, being close to me like flies afterwards.

No. I don't hold any grudge upon them, but knowing how these community works, they're giving muslimah a bad name, and i'm ashamed of it. That's why i had this ideology of, why should i wear hijab when looking like them is making me like one of them? Of course, that's wrong to think like that, and i admit i wasn't mature about it. Wearing hijabs or covering our aurah in general is wajib, and has nothing to do with others. We are judged (akhirat) as an individual.

What im trying to say is, there is ALOT of mean hijabis out there that would diss you so bad. But lets not forget about the nice hijabis whom are willing to guide people like me sincerely. People like my best friend, CheQin. Just thinking, how lucky i am to got stuck to my CheQin so early, that these other mean girls doesn't mean a THING!!

As i go along the story, as soon as the nice hijab woman came in the story line, whatever she advised or said, is almost exactly as what CheQin told and taught me throughout our whole friendship. She prayed and advised me nonstop, and never scolded me for being an airhead. I guess, her prayers are semi-answered (along with people who cared to pray for me, like my mom) (its semi-answered because i don't pray as well as i should.. still a big sinner).

To mean and judgmental hijabis, reflect yourself, and your tongue. Approach and don't shun us. And don't be a hypocrite. Nobody likes that. And to all non hijabis, its ok. Find a friend and ask for guidance. Its not that hard when you're doing it with a true friend. And to nice hijabis, help us, and in syaa allah, we too can show you the way towards Allah together. Islam is a Beautiful religion. Let make it happen altogether and maintain brothers and sisters till Jannah. Ameen.

Pemimpi 2.0 Photo Memories

Pemimpi 2.0

Over the last weekend, I went to a reunion gathering party held by the Pemimpi people (which are ex students of UiTM Graphic Design, Shah Alam). Though, I'm basically an outcast in the group, but majority of the people are my friends i made along the way from Diploma years to Topet's Degree years. 

I thought that, i left graphic designing a long time ago, and the people there knew each other more than me, i should feel left out of the group somehow. How wrong i was. They are all so welcoming and so much fun. I was announced as Topet's fiancee, but they knew better that i'm more than that to them. I knew them before the event, so things were less awkward. I just go with the flow (and also wouldn't wanna waste the fee that my fiancee paid for me, just to see me bored).

So, as soon as we arrived, we were greeted by the early comers (the event was held in Melaka btw, so we had few separated convoys). There was a small pool there, so as soon as the other boys reached, they hopped in straight away! They were like little rascals in the water. Us women, we were setting up with the kitchen and stuff, and we sure were excited to meet one another, especially my 6 month pregnant bestie!!

Dawn came, and the guys set up the barbecue. The smell of marinated chicken filled the area almost instantly! Oh! And Dya, our very own patisserie, she brought over her famous pavlova, brownies and chocolate fondue fountain, along with everything else sweet! We also had homemade ice cream and watermelons, and I was in charge of tomorrow's sandwiches for breakfast. Feels like summer and camping. Feels like youth. Reliving youth all over again.

We had karaoke sessions, with ALOT of cheering! It doesn't matter if you're singing is bad or good, as long as we all had fun, laughing and singing together. Soon, Topet and Eno hosted a guessing game, where we acted out the words and everybody guess it. It was hilarious! They sure had different actions for different things (like dog, king and tree). True enough, my team lost, and we were punished to sing the UiTM song, but who knew, that it would be so epic, everybody starts joining in and soon, started marching, circling the pool. Its too bad we can't held another game after that since everybody was exhausted from excessive cheering and singing, and being thrown in the pool, LOL.

The rest of the night, we just chilled. There were people who sang karaoke. There were people continued eating. There were people playing mini games among themselves. And there's me, lying on the carpet, outdoors, gazing at the stars and moon, feeling the breeze and singing along to Pijan's guitar tunes. It was heavenly. I was so grateful to attend the event. I was grateful to Eno who had thought of this. Everything was peaceful and nice. Wishing that time would somehow slow down just a little bit for us. Oh well....

Next morning, i woke up to make breakfast, only to witness a massacre scene in the living room! LoL! Its the boys. They sure can sleep just anywhere. Not just that, some of them, still have the energy to go swimming! Or tossing people in the pool! Oh well, they need to shower anyway...

Just before we check out, we had our final group shot (wajib)! I was a bit weary, though. So, as soon as we start convoying in Melaka city, I took a nap. I woke up in the middle of the convoy and they were still discussing where to head for lunch. They even accidentally left Pijan at the gas station all alone! Cruel much! But these are the things that jot the dot in our memories.

After lunch, we head to the desert of Klebang, where we had beautiful photo sessions all together. But it was so hot and dry!! The sand were soft and there's some got into my shoes. So i walked bare footed, but it burns!!! But better than having sand in my shoes though. Just after the scorching heat of the dessert, we had COCONUT SHAKES!! It was so heavenly, i had brain freeze! It was extra tasty when we drink with friends all around. As dusk shadowing the land, we decided to head home.

As we were driving home, we had news that 2 of our friend's car broke down and can't start at all. But since we've gone too far from them, we decided to wait for them at the RnR station. There i took a shower in the public toilet. Even after all that fixing, our friend's car still can't seem to be done. The rest decided to stay and help, and they told us to go ahead home rather than wait for them. Feeling helpless, we head home.

As they all say, in all matters, there's a silver lining. The rest had so much fun hanging out in Melaka still until dawn, and i'm really jealous! We should have turned back, just to see what we can help mentally and be a team about it. pfftt!! And Dya cant seem to get enough about rubbing the fun they had to my face... LOL!! Worse come to worse, they manage to solve their problems, and all is home safely..

I had so much fun writing this post, as i reminisce the good times we had. Reality may be harsh, but being a 'dreamer' makes everything possible. Thank you all for giving me the opportunity to feel energetic and positive! And i wish you all a happy life, until we all meet again soon, for Pemimpi 3.0 perhaps?

p.s: i wasn't invited to Pemimpi 1.0 because i was in Puncak and that was meant for AD students. But now, what the heck! ;p

Final Results

right after mr.TH reminded me to inform him of my final results, i received an email...

it was my result... (duhh)

Alhamdulillah.

i manage to pass with good results...

with this, im an official degree graduate!!

woohoo!!

been studying since 1992 till 2012

gosh.. twenty years... 

life is about education, isnt it...?

now, i can look for a job to support self and family..

the eldest got to do what an eldest got to do... ;)

for this, (cliche drum roll)

i wud like to thank family, friends, boyfriend, best friends  those strangers with good will, classmates, teachers, lecturers, and all... <3 br="">





p.s: Masters? not anytime soon.. will be, in syaa allah.. :)
p.s.s: its kinda sad to leave the student life, isnt it?

Life as a Degree Student

Alhamdulillah...
all hustles and bustles as a student has finally ended..
(in syaa allah, if my result turns out well)

im sorta sad (expected) to leave my dear friends in Puncak..
they're the best comical people iv met..
of course, my school and diploma friends are awesome too..
but these guys, they're really, undeniably comical.. (and they said, im the cartoony one)

anyway,
within my 3years of degree in animations..
alot of frustrations and challenges faced me, and i was afraid i fear it alone.
thus, a few gentle and loving friends stood behind me, supporting me all the way..

together, we faced all sorts of challenges,
assignments, tests, exams, death, revival, mockery and discouragements.

thank you guys,
for coming to accompanying me in my room,
for letting me hang over ur house almost all the time,
for lending/giving the sweater,
for giving me the awesome anime collections,
for sharing awesome asgmnts updates and infos,
for sharing cool VFX tutorials,
for trusting in me with your lighter,
for being such a lovely dope,
for helping me with my japanese vocabs,
for letting me sleepover at ur house freQuently,
for giving me moral support when im down,
for your warm loving hugs,
for all ur troll jokes that make me laugh so bad,
for being my irritator and fight buddy,
for bring me to mamak almost evry night,
for being a sweet awkward fellow,
for having such awesome patience with me,
for laughing at my lame jokes,
for sharing hilarious youtube vids,
for sharing new experiences,
for that many lovely things we shared together...

but mainly,
thank you, for being you... :)

and also,
im sorry if,
i made you guys angry and frustrated,
i happened to hit you too hard,
i made you sad and disappointed,
i owe you guys and hvnt paid back (do tell, im very forgetful)
i was stubborn
i was passive in a group project
i was such a a**hole,
i even said anything offensive,
i was being too insensitive,
i made things awkward,
i embarrassed any of you,
i was being too annoying and troll much,
i was such a scumbag,
i made all the things that i shudnt hv done or said towards you guys...

forgive me? :(

the time between 2010 to 2012, those times can nvr be replace by anything in the world,
even when there's an alien invasion, going to suck my memories of you guys for no good reasons,
i'll nvr give em up... for you guys are awesome, stupendous and super AWESOME!!

i love you guys, may we meet again someday and hopefully, you guys will only change physically and maintain your awesomeness.. :)

p.s: you know who you are.. :)

Praise Allah

Thank you... final presentation... done!!

p.s: degree speech coming~

Falling - Broken Riffs (MTV DEBUT)

Broken Riffs

-Falling-

concept:

 LIVE PERFORMANCE

mtv idols:

 SPIKE JONZE,  MICHEL GONDRY, MARK ROMANEK

enjoy our assignment... ;)

Broken Riffs

Alhamdulliah... we've done with MTV production.. woohoo!!!

thank you ViMo Production team...
thank you DikAre
thank you 9
thank you abg Nasz
thank you Pairuz
thank you Fak
thank you abg Ramdan
thank you Denel
thank you Sabah
thank you Leo
thank you all who came to help us, but name not mention here...

last but, obviously not the least...

THANK YOU BROKEN RIFFS... :))

you guys are AWESOME!!

p.s: MTV video coming up soon... :))

in my calendar

hectic days ahead...

DECEMBER

11:
12:
13: Directed Studies Submitting
14: MTV Presentation
15:
16:
17: Final Review Thesis n Project
18:
19: VIVA
20:
21: MTV Submitting
22:
23:
24:
25: XMas
26:
27: 3D and VFX Submitting
28: Finishing School
29: Finishing School
30: Finishing School
31:
___________________________________________________________________________

JANUARY

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7. Animation Showcase
8. Animation Showcase
9.
10.

p.s: pray that i'll succeed in all of these... amin... :)

VIVA

half way towards graduating...

half way there..

mou sukoshi, nee... :)

silly me

pretty messed today...

submittion today from 9.30 to 12.30

focus!

yesterday: at fac from 10.30am to 11.00pm

home, feeling damn tired

"guess i shud take a nap 1st..."

look at the time... 1.30 am...

naptime estimation : 2 1/2 hour : will wake up at 3am..

percentage of work for submittion : 85% (mostly, the tedious parts)

woke up... WHAT THE MATH!!!! 7 AM!!!!

Class starts 9.30.. maybe, will be ready at 10.. alil late, but better than never..

*type type type*

WHAT THE SCIENCE??? 9.15??? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??

*shower shower shower*

continue.. *type type type*

WARGH!!! 10.15!!! DONE!!!

gone to neighbour's house....

nak print please? ok.. thank you.. :)

*print print print*

OH EM GEE??? MY COMPILING FILE??? ITS IN THE STUDIO, YESTERDAY... ON THE 5TH FLOOR!!!

*rush rush rush*

climbed to 5th floor

*weeze weeze weeze*

got it!! run down again...

wait... where's the rest of the document...

I LEFT IT ON THE TABLE... IN THE STUDIO... 5TH FLOOR!!!

climbed to 5th floor... again....

*weeze weeze weeze*

down again...

got to class... phewwhh!!

marked...

i guess, im going home now, need to adjust my thesis... oh wait...

where's the doodle paper that my supervisor made remarks to correct my thesis?

I LEFT IT ON THE TABLE... IN THE STUDIO... 5TH FLOOR!!! AGAIN!!!!

climbed to 5th floor... again.... i cant take this anymore...

*WEEZE WEEZE WEEZE*

go..t..... i..t...........

result: knees shaking, sweating like a pig... bought 2bottles of greenteas, half naked at home, facing the fan... 


p.s: im dead beat... will start thesis at 2.30... supervisor at 4pm... on the 5TH FLOOR!!! URGHH!!!

let me swear in Malay...

ha.. elok sgt la tuh!!!

time keje belambak cm haram...
time tu lah macam2 bende nk jadi...

• computer nk lagging la... (berhabuk teruk sgt kowt)
• anti virus expire la...
• software xleh install la...
• tenet slow nk mampos la...
• ade video awesome la...
• deadline makin singkat la.. (lecturer ubah2 date suke hati mak nenek dorg je)
• tibe2 ade lak finishing school time tgh busy... (ni lg satu lect gile)
• dwet lak short sokmo...
• 9gag memanggil lak.. (ok.. tu salah sendri)
• VIVA dekat gile (xpaham npe nk wat awal2 sgt?)

WARGH!!! apsal sume ni??? npe la dorg ni xmake sense lgsg??

amende la... sem lepas xbg nk tarik subjek.. sem ni (final sem) pakse students sume amik smpai 5 6 subjek..

amende ni???

in real world.. xde nye org nak amik 5 6 job dgn deadline singkat2, rapat2... gile.... budak baby pown tau la camne... adoii... ni kes aniaya ni... seriously~~

im in my freaking final sem, and to be hving 6 subjects?? gile hape??

and student animation, core subject Music Video???? WTF??

ape la kaitan MTV dgn Animation? aplikasi AE? animation??

bro?? AE pown korg letak part 6... nk apply mendenye???

padan la 4 org je lepas part 6... yg len sume haru biru.... sbb silibus gile nk mati...

agak2 la... weyh.. gini gaya.. rindu gile en.Ezwan... he understands us more than you artsy fartsy wannabe...

p.s: dont say we'v never brought this matter up.. we did.. but.. we were shun away.. (nanti la~ nanti la~)

drain as a ditch

2more months to go....

i dunno if to be sad or happy?

that i'll be ending my studies in universities....

if i were to take my masters... it wudnt be anytime soon...

argh!!!

busy busy!!

that im actually toning my body unconsciously.... LOL!!

next time is no time

what does it mean when you met,

12am, 2am, 4am, 7am, 8am, 10am, 12pm and 1pm? :

it means,

you'r damn lazy to pick up that head from that pillow and do ur asgmnts evntho presentation's coming. urghh!!! kept postponing the time!!!

im f**hed!!

empty

yup...

frankly, i feel empty here. and im sure of myself that im not the type of person who would have trouble adapting in new places.

i'm here for almost 2 1/2 years and still, this place seems to be a stranger to me. there's alot of things that i dont know, and weirdly, i dont even bother to know. maybe coz, in this place, people seems to take their own business personally too much... maybe coz, there's no such thing as tolerance here, let alone love and warmth.

its kinda sad to say that, despite my long being here, i dont love this place at all. except for my classmates and certain nice people here, i just cant find the urge to love here. specifically, i would want to blame the hierarchy of the campus, but then again, it wouldnt be too fair for me to judge (thus, one cant help judging if there's too much coincidence, right?).

i'm kind of tired putting on a fake attitude, just to be part of the faculty. Being a hypocrite, pretending to like the system and all, its just too tiring. no wonder few of the most potential students here quit. i quite understand now. i'm lucky to be part of my (isolated) course. being new (course) to the faculty, others seems to (kinda) neglect us, as new comers. judging us coz we werent from here since diploma years. but for me, im kinda glad that im not from here, or else, i would be brainwashed with the system here too, making me like em... its not that im accusing em being rotten or anything like it... im not here to judge, but like i said, (one cant help judging if there's too much coincidence).

i miss my Perak life. i would lie if i'd say we never had any hypocrite times, but it was for the better and things turned out lovely. that's right. its all because we love each other and we cant afford to see em getting hurt coz we were too frank. some things are best when kept pleasant, coz its not about how hurt u felt in the past, what matters is how u'r feeling now.

say im childish of talking about love and warmth and all, but, why are we studying so hard, trying too hard to be professionals if one cant fulfill the need of the heart? i wouldnt wanna work on the field, feeling fake and discharge. if being too stressful is making you look professional, then, excuse me for wanting to work "coz i love my work". 

right now, i (doubtly i'm alone) just wanna finish my studies here and be done with it. 

p.s: excuse my rant. i just needed a time out~

Damn Lazy

Just another chatty dinner night with classmates.

Danial Uzair

Eventho we hv very few classes for this sem, this is the toughest one so far.

Puteri (Me)

wanna know what makes this sem tough?

Danial Uzair

what?

Puteri (Me)

Coz we only have 1 class this sem, so we cant blame "other" classes when we werent able to finish up an asgmnt. we are just too god damn lazy to get up and do it, and the results are still last min work. also, we took too much priority on our side incomes, we forgot our actual asgmnts. true?

Danial Uzair

*Long Pause*

Seem legit.

Woman of Degree

congrats my darling Shawty~ :)

u are now a woman of DEGREE!!

Fret not of the troubles troubling in ur troubled mind..

for your future isnt troubled at all...

be at ease and i promise evrything will be fine...

again, syabas very2 much!!

forever my true derping friend

forever my shawty

FOREVER MY NORASHIKIN ABD RAHMAN... ;)

sayang awk

<3

Graffiti Competition

PLACE:

Port Dickson

TIME: 

9 to 5

(drive to PD at 5am!!)

THEME:

PD Bandar Tentera Darat

RATE:

 8 out of 13 competitors...

(not bad.. for 1st timers... ;p)

for the 1st time in OUR lives,

we actually joined a Graffiti competition,

without ANY graffiti basics....

not even how to use spray cans... (other than clear spray lah!)

but we sure had DAMN LOTSA FUN!!

(despite the heavy rain n all... ;p)

we actually had very little confidence to win this thing,

but we all just enter for the sake of experiencing it...

and the experience, PRICELESS

Thank You

Miss Hajar

Cuk

Leo Shark

Abg Lan (UiTM Driver)

it was wonderful being able to do this with uollzz... ;p

p.s: we didnt get to swim at the beach.. :(

p.s.s: ... but we had SATAY!! <3

Young Tigers

thanks to Boyfie's busy2 schedule, he assigned me to be apart of his project...

which acQuired me to go to the stadium to watch one of the country's football match...

my 1st time going to a stadium to watch football!! ;p

tho, im not much of a football fan,

i do understand the game and the excitements and stuff...

it was fun watching fans cheering full heartily for their team...

mostly for the Tigers la...

of cos, there must be our fave couple,

Proffy and Ayu

us wearing the blue jersey!!

(well actually, i was wearing his jersey... i dont own one...)

and let the game begin!!

p.s: even tho we lost the match (Msia vs Syria)... we'll still root for you... :)