Frankly,
When I was a young high schooler, I wasn't really interested in love. Sure, I have few crushes here and there, but even with my 1st boyfriend, I wasn't really into it.
I was always that otaku girl, reading comics and loving anime, and into collecting toys. Eventho, the comic genre I was into was school-love, I can't really shift that into reality.
The topic came up as I was scrolling TikTok and watched few vids of people's heartbreaking experiences in young love, typically between 14 to 18. It got me thinking how unappreciative of me to miss out on this, but I'm not sorry.
Other than my relationship with my husband, all my relationships rarely pass the 3rd month, and the problem was always me. I didn't cheat, I didn't like anybody else, I just lose interest in committing the relationship. It was all weird and fluffy in the beginning, then it turns into a routine, and so many rules and clinginess. It was boring that I have to entertain someone just because.
I think part of it is because I was an introvert, and I like my time alone. I'm not the gloomy, depressing indoor hermit type, it's just that 60 to 70% of my day, I like to indulge myself in my own little corner undisturbed. I love daydreaming and drawing, but I needed to sacrifice some of my personal time to date, love, and be a girlfriend when there's a relationship.
I was already crushing on my husband back before we were an item, but never to sacrifice my personal time, but with him, I didn't need to, instead, we SHARE interest. I was able to merge my world together with his, instead of dividing.
The point is, every time I watch or listen to stories of young high school love, I feel left out and a little bit of me regretted it. I wish to go back to the past and tweak some tiny episodes, just so that I would have some stories to reminisce.
