Listen To Your Heart, You Will Understand

Monday, January 27, 2014

Doubting my hijabster self

Of course, ever since i wore the hijab, i've start missing the days i was wild (sort of) and free (think so) ... I just love the feel of the wind in my hair and decorating my mane with cute clips and ribbons. But now, i'm using the hijab, i sort of miss my bangs.. no doubt! i love the hijab style and all.. but i was uncovered for so long and sometimes, it feels like a hassle, truthfully...

At times, i feel like taking it off and let loose and care less of what others might say. But i made a vow.

Nonetheless, i asked my fiancee, doesn't he missed me without hijab? He said he does. BUT! He preferred me with the hijab on, because it made me look nicer and sweet (awww). Better than before. And knowing him, he doesn't like to share his girl to anyone (and that's why i was scolded when wearing short skirts before, long ago).

Well, despite the guilty feeling of taking my hijab off, those remarks from my fiancee truly lightens me up. So, i'm keeping it on (of course, didn't even plan to take it off in the 1st place). Besides, i'm not at the age of playing and flirting around anymore. I just want to look pretty for him, and i'm glad he's appreciating me like this.. :)

I found myself a very good man to guide my future.

I know, i should be sincere wearing my hijab for Allah.. I AM.. its just that, i'm not immune from syaitan myself, and don't say that you are (fakers). Every changes in life must have a motivator, and mine, fortunately my family, friends and beloved fiancee. Thank you guys.. :)

Friday, January 24, 2014

Dear Allah,

Despite my crude behaviour in life, i am thankful for granting me many people in my life..

I am thankful for my mother, whom gave birth to me.. regardless the distance we have between us, we are never separated in heart. Never lose faith in me, always believe i can achieve many things (even the smallest things counts for her).

I am thankful for my father, always giving me a pathway towards the biggest picture in life. Always giving me the 2nd chance thought i don't deserve. And is always there to help. Sometimes, to teach a child to find, is to play 'Hide and Seek'. Nothing is given in the real world, except to expected to be taken back.

I am thankful for my fiancee, that 1st stranger to accept me as who i am. Always, and ALWAYS there whenever i'm down, whenever i'm at my lowest, most useless state. Knowing how stubborn, how anxious and how thoughtless i can be at most times. Notices the tasteless changes in me. You still stuck a ring on me.

I am thankful for my siblings, who are always my little rays of sunshine. My trouble makers. My migraine enhancements. My mud puddles. Always a grim, never a bore. Those lil baby talk we had, turns to meaningful chats. Everything you guys do, made me reminisce and smile. Never fail.

I am thankful for my best friends, my vitamins in life. Supports me to almost everything i do. Listens and listen good. Never sigh to my woes, never scream to my tantrums. Even after knowing that i'm not they type to contact all the time, never to forget me, as i never forget them, EVER! Always so important, so true.

So, Please dear Allah,
Hear my prayers, for you are the Most Loving and Most Caring, Most Forgiving.

Give love and protection to these love ones of my life. Give support and justice to their soul. Forgive their sins and banish their fears. Purify their heart from evil and stray them from hell fire, for they are precious to me on earth. Amin...

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Momma Bad Ass

look who i found loitering on FB!! It's my mom's high school picture!!
BWAHAHAHA!! I need to thank her friends for posting this.
She does looked like a delinquent bad ass! I like that!

p.s: That fierce look really suit her as a hockey player..

Sunny Smiles


Took that tiny step towards adulthood... went to JAIS website and yep.. really did test out my adulthood liability... That page is dang heavy! Man!!

Luckily, I called the center and the respond was fast and efficient. Though, they can lose just that bit of attitude... or may I'm that blur, they pissed off.. LOL!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Fluffy Cows

Yes, I want them as pets please. Thank you.

Bunny BackPack

Oh ma BOOO!!!

Stop everything and appreciate THIS!!
Bunny going backpacking yoww!!
He's bringin some pellets, carrots, apples and a water bottle for the trip!
Nope! Need no change of clothes or shampoo,
nor he needs passport or travel docus, coz he's da boss!!!

Sunny can't do this though.
He'd look like a PedoBunny trying to bring BabyBunnies home for lunch..
Nope.. Not him... Wish to though.. 

Monday, January 13, 2014

Weirdest dream

I just had one of my weird dreams last night...

It all began when a nuclear system somewhere exploded and it was so big and hazardous, many people died and all of the power system in the world blacked out.

I found myself with few of my family members, trying to survive the calastrophic event and we eventually went through it for few years. Within those years, everybody in the world turned inhuman and barbaric.. Somewhat insane.. And we're trying our best to survive everything. Nature took our cities and everything was left bare. 

Before sun down, me and my sister went out to look for branches and twigs to make fire.. (Since there's no power, we depend on fire for light at night). We came across an abandoned small children theme park and we went in (because i happened to saw a snake, those red, black and yellow ones)...

While collecting some brances and twigs for the fire, in the play park, it was almost dawn. We need to get back to our family before dark, and we know we wandered too far. When suddenly, we were captured by men in helmet and suits.

We were brought to a place, which seems like a modified school. They had power and running system and all.. It seems like a military base now. 

We were trained harshly and... ( i forgot the rest)...

I remembered being called to the office and being told that i'm selected to the special force. I had enough and ran away... All of the team force looked for me and i had to keep myself hidden.. I hid myself in a hooded sweater and tried to find my way to my family... And i had to get back in to find my sister.. LoL...

... And, i woke up... 

Dang It!

I can't sleep! What is wrong with me? The usual I guess?

They said that if you can't sleep at night, it means somebody is dreaming about you.. Well stop! I need my shut eyes and snore cycle!!

This is frustrating...

Thursday, January 2, 2014

You wish!!

Literally me now...

Plant Nanny App

Unfortunately, I don't plan to have any of the "New Year Resolutions". I don't feel like bashing myself every end of the year for not completing (or even doing) any of the things I promised myself to do.

I downloaded this really cute app on iTunes.
Its the Plant Nanny app:

Which helps you to organize your drinking timing in a day.

So, i thought it's cute and all, and i think i need it because, lets face it;
 I'm not the healthiest thang here, 
so i gotta at least get one thing straight!

So, basically, this app sort of 'drinks' with you. You choose a plant, plant the plant (lol) and every time it needs water, you drink up and schedule it. Or else, your plant will wither.. get the idea.

there's my Dandelion... I named her Dream.

They also has this measurements glasses/mugs/bottles, so you'll know which container holds how much water.

So, i started with mugs (350ml each)... i need at least 6 mugs of water a day. 

AND HELL NAWW!! By the end of the day, i started peeing every 15mins, and my VJJ is drowning!! urghh!! This is so tiring!! And this isn't my first attempt on healthy drinking. I was so tired of the Loo Trips, I can't even.

But, on the bright side, water helps to lose weight, so, I think I'll try to keep up. And I don't wish on cheating on my lil Dream Dandelion either. Hehe.

P.s: Water is Good. BRAINWASH! (see what i did there... ;p)

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy 2014!

1.Stop posting negative sh*t about celebrities on social media. Miley Cyrus does not care what you think about her haircut, Justin Bieber does not care what you think of his tattoos and Gwyneth Paltrow couldn't care less regarding what you think about her diet.

2. Stop resenting yourself for drunk texting your ex. Sure, its a little embarrassing, but at least you’re addressing your feelings. Not that you should aim to drink an entire bottle of rum then see what happens, but… roll with the punches.

3. Leave the country. If you don’t have money, look into doing charity work abroad. Some programs will sponsor you.

4. If you hate your job, quit your job. Repeat after me: THE MONEY IS NOT WORTH IT. Food and shelter are clutch though, so make sure you have another job lined up.

5. Stop beating yourself up for skipping the gym on days you truly didn't have time. But also, stop skipping the gym on days you had plenty of time to go.

6. Make up — not to be confused with make out — with an ex.

7. Rid yourself of enemies. Apologize for what you did wrong and forgive those who have wronged you.

8. Rid yourself of “frenemies.” Don’t spend 2014 surrounded by people you secretly despise.

9. If you think somebody is cute, say “hi” and introduce yourself. Every relationship you have ever had started with a greeting.

10. Leave your phone number for someone. Worst-case scenario: you won’t get a call and maybe you’ll feel a tiny bit embarrassed. Regardless of the outcome, you put yourself out there and probably made the other person’s day.

11. Stop caring about how many people “like” your Instagram photos. If you like the photo enough to post it, what else matters? Social media anxiety is a waste of time.

12. Cross something off your bucket list. Sky dive, bungee jump, scuba dive, etc. Don’t make excuses as to why you can’t accomplish something, and check out

13. Stop hating yourself for eating dessert. A piece of birthday cake is a right, not a privilege.

14. Keep a journal. It doesn't have to be something you use daily, but documenting your experiences is incredibly important. You’ll appreciate it later.

15. Strengthen relationships with family members. Blood is thicker than water.

16. Help strangers. “Pay it forward,” do good things for the world — and don’t post a Facebook status about it.

17. Conquer a fear.

18. Turn off your smartphone at dinner.

19. Don’t check your Twitter feed when you’re with friends.

20. Try a fashion trend you never thought you could pull off. And, do it with confidence. Floppy hats, snap backs, Harem pants; you can do it!

21. Double-text without fear. THOU SHALL NOT BE IGNORED!

22. Shop locally, eat locally and recognize where your money is going. Consumers control the economy, so visit the mom-and-pop coffee shop down the street instead of Starbucks. Shop at boutiques rather than chains (they aren't all expensive — trust me). Try instead of retail conglomerates.

23. Cry. When you’re happy and when you’re sad; embrace your emotions as they come.

24. Stop being so shallow. Next time you find yourself judging someone based on his or her appearance, imagine the person standing in front of you saying, “I’m beautiful.” You’ll start to believe it.

25. If you want someone to commit to you, vocalize it. Don’t settle for being someone’s “f*ck buddy” if that isn't what you want. “Together” is the waiting period between “talking” and “dating”; purgatory shouldn't last forever.

— 25 New Year’s Resolutions Every Person Should Actually Make for 2014, Elite Daily (via forever-and-alwayss)

 -also, i stole it from Tumblr-