Rainy Eyes

I just hate it that every time it rains, my body feels the need to take naps.
Like automatically.

Especially when it's day time, in the office.
I would feel annoyingly sleepy, and I can't win!

short shorty sighted

My eye sight is getting worse by the year! Siapa anak Aziz ni, memang sejarah rabun kuat! Adik beradik sume berderet pakai glasses. Tunggu yg bongsu je. Most likely because of our addiction or life dedication to electronic screens. But then again, 4 out of 5 of my dad siblings, they all wore glasses.

I hate glasses, such a burden to my nose and so much sight limitations, not to mention the goofy look i got when i wore them with my hijab. urgh!! But i can't get used to contact lenses either. They made my eyes tired and dry, annoys me to my brain. Besides, it's an easier option to wear glasses instead of contacts.

I remembered, my eye sight was bad that i can't read signboards. Now, i can't even see the book right in front of me! It's increased so bad, I'm totally annoyed, I feel like doing lasik surgery. Ni baru naik power jadi 2. The rest of my siblings got their powers up to 7 or 8! I don't know how are they not annoyed. 

I just hope my future children would get their father's perfect eye sight. And eyes. :)

30 Day Challenge (Day 15)

Day 15: In 5 Years

I see myself

with stained hijab, crumpled shirt and jeans, 

carrying a toddler, who's nose of his/her father and eyes like his/her mother.

I see myself

laughing as this toddler waddled his/her way towards my husband,

as he kept cheering for him at a distance.

"tateh tateh"

I see myself

on a rocking chair at home, feeding this child,

while my husband watches his tv show while holding my hand.

I see myself

waking up from wet kisses and laughters from my 2 favourite people,

demanding for breakfast.

I see myself

loved and complete.

I see myself 

with you and our child.

My family.

Product

Hubby

Yang, if you were to have any type of product in the world, with an international celebrity ambassador,
what would your product will be? who will be the ambassador?

Wife

Hmm...

I like Emma Watson! She'll be my ambassador for my clothing line. Mega awesomeness

*insert blabbers about Emma Watson*

Hubby

oh..

.

.

.

.

.

.

Wife

What about you?

Hubby

Me? Well, 

My product will be named after me..

something something bin Taufik Hidayat

and the ambassador would be you.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Wife

Was that another cheesy pick up line?

p.s: one of the few reasons I'm happy. May our marriage is blessed forever. In syaa Allah.

Stop Reading Media Comments

I decided to not even glance at media comments from the public as it can be really mean and stupid. People are so judgmental, they're proud of their stupidity. 

and there's this special comment that irks me hella lot;

"Asl nk tnjuk pndai je speaking english. CKP BAHASA MELAYU LA BODOH!"

*facepalm from Neptune and back.

#ohgodwhy

So, yeah..

Be an INDIVIDUAL.

Destroy negativity from within.

Self control

Love to love.

and a lot more encouraging self control quotes.

please be smart. cyber bullying is real. don't be the next victim.

#iwanttotouchadog

As straight forward as it seems, this particular event I went is to overcome the fear and boundaries in me (and possibly, others) of dogs.

From a young age, never in my life (or as far as i recall) am taught that dogs are HARAM or forbidden. Even in my PAFA class, dogs are part of Najis (stool) which is obvious, can be cleanse, whereas Harams, can't and results as a sin. To my opinion, we are more or less, were told (and not taught) that dogs are dirty and should be away from. But, we also forgot that dogs too are Allah's creation and a living creature with feelings and emotions. We forgot that in Islam, is all about toleration and peace making. I'm not implying that we should ALL caress and give kisses to them, but instead, we should accept their existence and respect it.

Today, this event is held to truly understand the nature of dogs and also other religions. Not only we learn to face our fear towards dogs and crash down that wall of boundary, but to also show that Islam is a religion of peace and understanding. We can bond and love. We care for others too. And even if things as accidentally made contact with a dog (or a pig), they to can understand how to help or restrain. We live in a country of many different races and religions. It's only fair for us to understand each other. Thankfully, the event today was a success. Everybody seems to enjoy learning and tolerating. Truly heartwarming. Sure, there a few disses of disagreements and judgement, but meh, everybody's a keyboard master. Just know, my (and surely everybody else's) conscious is clear and In syaa Allah, I'm doing this, ikhlas for the sake of learning and peace making.

Syabas to all of the #iwanttotouchadog event crew and facilitators for providing us such eventful and educating experience. Syabas to Syed Azmi for being the leader. Come on guys, beristinjak pun belajar agama ape? LoL..

And lastly, HATERS GONNA HATE and KEYBOARD MASTERS GOTTA JAM!!

Being Trendy? Me?

Honestly, all my life i tried to be trendy, chic and sophisticated.. and without fail... i failed.. Just to make it less butt hurt, i tell the world (and apparently myself as well) that I prefer to be comfortable with whatever I have to wear, when the truth is, I just can't put my finger on where to mix and where to fix..

Every time I see somebody elegant or chic or hipster-ish, i tend to think, "wow, she's looks so cool. I should wear like her." And at the point when I tried, its either uncomfortable or made me looks pretentious (or simply said, stupid.) So basically, it's always back to jeans and tee, with a stupid ponytail behind my back.

Some days, I would Google/Tumblr/Pinterest/Youtube some fashion blogs or vids and tried to mix and match of what i have, and sometimes, my sister's. And some days, I would go begging for some tips (or rather, having her to pick) of what I should wear to what occasions. With that, she could make me look stunningly amazing, but at times, she could go overboard, of which, I appreciate her handy works though. But to and fro, looks could never be top priority on my 'things to be on my top priority list'. I would always (and ALWAYS) have my comfy, lazy dress up days, which maintained to be, everyday. Until the day comes, of when some one ought to be looking gorgeous or some one complained of my dressing. Also especially after i randomly encountered some serious fashion beauties online (especially Tumblr. Curse you tumblr girls.)

I tried. Seriously, I did.. But I always ended up looking lame and I'll feel disgusted with myself, and always having wardrobe malfunction. I guess, that's why they call it a WARdrobe (literal warzone for women.) *punintended*.

Just today, my fiance advised me to buy some clothes to match my recently bought turquoise wristlet, and I told him, its the 'TREND' to hold one item different than others of my outfit. He kind chuckled when I said the word TREND. It made me more embarrassed when he said its weird when I'm the one mentioning it. Thus, making me realized how lame I looked all this while. But also made me realized, all this time, he loves me even when I looked the lamest. Oh well...

But believe me! I will (try) to look as mature possible! Not the old women type, but at least par to my age (group). People mistakenly took me at the wrong age (group) probably because of how I represent myself. Ma'am, I'm way older than 17 or 18 or 22, ma'am.... Not sure if its a compliment, but that weird (almost to disgust) disbelieve look on your face, offends me abit. Clothing probably plays a big role of how you present yourself. I really need to buff up.

Throw away, huge sweat shirts and baggy jeans.. Throw away lame graphic tees and makcik dresses. Mainly the sweaters lah... I know my fiance hates my previous Diploma sweats... lol... Time for blouses, cardis and arbayas... need to spice up some sense of style.. like always... sigh.. wish me luck... >.>

p.s: Pray I'll get a better job/career, so i get some style.. ;p

p.s.s: made me reminisce my Diploma days... T-shirts, overwashed sweaters, 1 tone jeans.. 'selipar jepun'.. no wonder my friends are kinda (kinda) relieved that I changed, abit... ;p

#pray4MH370

It has been 4 days since the disappearance of Malaysian flight MH370. No news since they vanished from the radar. Families, friends, colleagues. All worried for those on board. People makes many speculations, assumptions, controversies and accusations, but none of that can solve the mystery. Lets just pray (sincerely) for the return or discovery of the plane. We do not know what actually happened, but we can pray for our officers to find them soon, to report that they have found them.

How guilty i felt when, on the day this tragedy occurred, i was helping out at a Dinner event for BSN in Sama-Sama Hotel, which where the 1st press conference held. It is also where family members of the victims are suppose to gather. One man, pushing an elderly woman who seems to be hiding her tears, asked us where's the location of the gathering. Not knowing where, i told them to ask the hotel staffs. They went away with heavy heart. It almost brought me down to tears. While the event was ongoing for the night, families and travelers cross our way in a hurry. I just watched them pass by silently.

Recently, I have this strange dream. Probably just a dream. I don't really believe in interpreted dreams, as it can be syirik. But in this dream, the plane is still flying, but doesn't have a destination. The passengers and crews are all asleep, including the pilot and his co-pilot. Sleeping and flying is the sky of orange, white and blue. No injuries or harm, just asleep.

#pray4mh370

Overpopulating Humans

Lets face it. The biggest problem the world is facing isn't climax changes or insufficient grounds. Its human population. From the earliest time of human records to 2011, it has been only up to 1.3 billion human being recorded. But from there on wards to the latest record on 2013, it has reached up to 7 billion! I'm shocked! We grow selfishly rapid and is eating up our own space.

I remember an advised i received not long ago (i'm not sure from who, really). We were happily discussing about my future wedding and marriage plans. I told her i prefer 2 or at least, not more than 3, because future education and living expenses must be expensive. She strongly advised not to do such planning as it is up to God of giving us how many children, and something about sex life (how in Islam, its taboo for the hubby to ejaculated else where). 

To my opinion, that is selfish and somewhat cruel. First of all, i have never heard such thing (about this sex thingy)! 2nd, Allah gave us brains to think for ourselves and to be independent. He will not assist if we don't work for it hard. Lastly, without family planning, you are just being cruel to the society and to your own family. Yes, Rezki comes from each of our children. But it doesn't mean that literally.You still have to work for it, and in syaa allah, it will come to you in a shape of gratitude. At the economic and politic rate we're are going, nothing will come cheap in the future, and surely, i don't want any of my future children to feel too much hardship because of our selfishness. A dinner for 5 is much more hefty to feed than a dinner for 10. Children of three is much more easier to keep track than 7 or 8. This goes to bonding wise as well. I surely want to nurture them and watch them grow up well than to feel like managing a boarding school. I've always believed that Quality wins over Quantity.

Yes! Family planning is very important and needed. Some people are used to big families, but, just a lil bit of family planning won't hurt. Too many children means some of them will be left unattended. Unattended children will feel unwanted, and usually, where do unwanted children go? To the abyss of curiosity and dark future. Unsafe sexs, crimes, abortions... It's sad.

All over the world, there are men, happily marrying multiple amount of women. Some have 4 (in Islam, polygamy is allowed and is encouraged if able) and some have more (probably the mormons). I have nothing against this, because i know its allowed if follows the rules of polygamy. But what i'm worried about is the uncontrollably amount of children they are producing. Some, each woman produced up to 12 children and some are able to reach to 20+. What saddens me is, most of the family here are on the brink of poverty. They hardly have space to sleep, enough food to eat and money for school. Is this fair? They may reach world records for production, but what comes afterwards?

Some say that it is important to produce as many Muslims possible, to uphold the religion. But even our prophet mentioned,

"Even when you increase in the public. But your conditions are like bubbles in the ocean. And Allah will take the fear of you from (the hearts of) the enemies and will be overtaken (a disease of) al-Wahn in your hearts. "

Bubbles, we are like bubbles, who are being washed away be our enemies. We may produce Muslim children rapidly, but judging from our society outcome, will we able to teach them to be a proper Muslim? Are we a proper Muslim ourselves? Do you think you will have time to teach 7 children when you yourself is still confuse about how to pray the right order (i know i am)? I believe (STRONGLY) that a good quality and educated Muslim is much needed now than ever, rather than unattended children, that you'll probably ended up beating for unwanted pregnancy and 'bringing' shame to the family.

You guys probably will be going like, 'hye Puteri, you're not married or have any children, so don't be such a smart ass'. Well, guys, i probably am right now. I'm just saying on behalf of human population, unattended children and religious statements of this matter. Children (or up to teenagers) may do or cause accidents because of curiosity and adrenaline (youth). But, look at it this way. Managing 3 is much more easier than 7. Why? Because every children have their needs. And sometimes, we overlook things. Which can cause many things.

And how do you think this rapid growth effect on our surroundings? This means we will take more space, more earth sources. Which leads to chopping out forests and woods, digging the earth soil everywhere. Then, what about the wildlife animals? What about the unsteady grounds we dug so much? What about the air we breathe? The water we drink? Are we going to rely on artificial food and products after everything is gone?What about poverty? With this many people, is there enough jobs for everybody? Will some of us escape it?

Back to human population. Its all about planning. Yes, we may not know what will happen in the future. Allah works in a mysterious way. But in the end, in syaa allah, it ends with a blessing. Amin.

War isn't Hell

War is War

and 

Hell is Hell

War isn't Hell

and 

Hell isn't War

Hell is for sinners,

who deserved to be punished,

decided by God.

War includes innocent bystanders

whom are sometimes clueless of what's happening.

Children, Families, Friends, Animals.

Wars determined by power hungry politicians and dictators.

In War

There are innocent bystanders.

Not in Hell.

Pemimpi 2.0 Photo Memories

Doubting my hijabster self

Of course, ever since i wore the hijab, i've start missing the days i was wild (sort of) and free (think so) ... I just love the feel of the wind in my hair and decorating my mane with cute clips and ribbons. But now, i'm using the hijab, i sort of miss my bangs.. no doubt! i love the hijab style and all.. but i was uncovered for so long and sometimes, it feels like a hassle, truthfully...

At times, i feel like taking it off and let loose and care less of what others might say. But i made a vow.

Nonetheless, i asked my fiancee, doesn't he missed me without hijab? He said he does. BUT! He preferred me with the hijab on, because it made me look nicer and sweet (awww). Better than before. And knowing him, he doesn't like to share his girl to anyone (and that's why i was scolded when wearing short skirts before, long ago).

Well, despite the guilty feeling of taking my hijab off, those remarks from my fiancee truly lightens me up. So, i'm keeping it on (of course, didn't even plan to take it off in the 1st place). Besides, i'm not at the age of playing and flirting around anymore. I just want to look pretty for him, and i'm glad he's appreciating me like this.. :)

I found myself a very good man to guide my future.

I know, i should be sincere wearing my hijab for Allah.. I AM.. its just that, i'm not immune from syaitan myself, and don't say that you are (fakers). Every changes in life must have a motivator, and mine, fortunately my family, friends and beloved fiancee. Thank you guys.. :)

Dear Allah,

Despite my crude behaviour in life, i am thankful for granting me many people in my life..

I am thankful for my mother, whom gave birth to me.. regardless the distance we have between us, we are never separated in heart. Never lose faith in me, always believe i can achieve many things (even the smallest things counts for her).

I am thankful for my father, always giving me a pathway towards the biggest picture in life. Always giving me the 2nd chance thought i don't deserve. And is always there to help. Sometimes, to teach a child to find, is to play 'Hide and Seek'. Nothing is given in the real world, except to expected to be taken back.

I am thankful for my fiancee, that 1st stranger to accept me as who i am. Always, and ALWAYS there whenever i'm down, whenever i'm at my lowest, most useless state. Knowing how stubborn, how anxious and how thoughtless i can be at most times. Notices the tasteless changes in me. You still stuck a ring on me.

I am thankful for my siblings, who are always my little rays of sunshine. My trouble makers. My migraine enhancements. My mud puddles. Always a grim, never a bore. Those lil baby talk we had, turns to meaningful chats. Everything you guys do, made me reminisce and smile. Never fail.

I am thankful for my best friends, my vitamins in life. Supports me to almost everything i do. Listens and listen good. Never sigh to my woes, never scream to my tantrums. Even after knowing that i'm not they type to contact all the time, never to forget me, as i never forget them, EVER! Always so important, so true.

So, Please dear Allah,

Hear my prayers, for you are the Most Loving and Most Caring, Most Forgiving.

Give love and protection to these love ones of my life. Give support and justice to their soul. Forgive their sins and banish their fears. Purify their heart from evil and stray them from hell fire, for they are precious to me on earth. Amin...

Plant Nanny App

Yeah,
Unfortunately, I don't plan to have any of the "New Year Resolutions". I don't feel like bashing myself every end of the year for not completing (or even doing) any of the things I promised myself to do.

ANYWAY,
I downloaded this really cute app on iTunes.
Its the Plant Nanny app:

Which helps you to organize your drinking timing in a day.

So, i thought it's cute and all, and i think i need it because, lets face it;

 I'm not the healthiest thang here, 

so i gotta at least get one thing straight!

So, basically, this app sort of 'drinks' with you. You choose a plant, plant the plant (lol) and every time it needs water, you drink up and schedule it. Or else, your plant will wither.. get the idea.

there's my Dandelion... I named her Dream.

They also has this measurements glasses/mugs/bottles, so you'll know which container holds how much water.

So, i started with mugs (350ml each)... i need at least 6 mugs of water a day. 

AND HELL NAWW!! By the end of the day, i started peeing every 15mins, and my VJJ is drowning!! urghh!! This is so tiring!! And this isn't my first attempt on healthy drinking. I was so tired of the Loo Trips, I can't even.

But, on the bright side, water helps to lose weight, so, I think I'll try to keep up. And I don't wish on cheating on my lil Dream Dandelion either. Hehe.

P.s: Water is Good. BRAINWASH! (see what i did there... ;p)

Soon in Singapore

this year will probably mark the shortest trip to Singapore... because of my job...

im sorry in advance ibu.. :(

anyways...

before my line get disconnected in Singapore, i would like to gather my palm and fingers together and ask for forgiveness to who ever that may have been hurt from what I've done or said, for i am only a humble human being myself...

please make halal for all of the things given to me.

i cant promise a perfect me next year, but pray for a better and improved me onward.

from here, i also would love to wish, Happy Aidilfitri. Assalammua'laikum ;)

who said?

who said and agreed that our world now has advanced when in some part of the world..

ban women and girls to receive education?

forced child marriage is still active?

starvation still prevail?

religious war still going on?

men still thinks women are useless?

children are still ignored?

slavery are still going strong?

the law are still weak?

mix racial marriage are still frowned upon?

who said?

who are we to say that?

i am thankful that i am born and raised in a modern country.

sure there's corruption here and there,

but compared to other countries,

im thankful.. :)

Alhamdulillah.

im in a position that is able to offer help to others.

no matter how small the aid is,

never forget that

"the simplest gesture is able to heal a life of another"