Mak Turut

 Everybody knows.

My father was one of the greatest filmmakers in the industry in Malaysia. (not bragging)

I only got to witness him in stardom as his "struggling" artist phase was far before I was born.

I was brought up in the shadow of a glamorous lifestyle. Celebrities and known artists came to our house, I spent time at the filming location and practically grew up surrounded by film crews and stars. I was also around watching and listening in during meetings and script readings. 

But, I didn't absorb much of my father's creative flame and love for new discoveries. I shy away, hoping someone noticed me, wishing I could be in that world, but I often shy away. ruginya lahai...

I dare to say, I have many creative skills, and I often learn quickly on the go. But I feel that's my limit.

a FATHER, who's well known, and well versed in the creative world, only to have a DAUGHTER who's just an executor. I can only realize what visions others have, but hardly my own. Even if I have, it's hardly significant.

Alas, I married also to a man, so talented and well respected in the Design world, and again, I execute...

Is it that bad? No. Then why? I dunno... With all the expectations from people around me since young, I feel like I let them down. I'm in my mid-30s and have yet to have my name in the media about my accomplishments. Was it a target in the first place? No, but...

Until now, I'm a great nothing. I'm good at things, but not great.

Hahaha... I feel like I'm just complaining. I'm actually am.