Listen To Your Heart, You Will Understand

Thursday, June 18, 2015


now, i am no longer,


Anak Dara




(bak kata Awin)


they call me puan...

( be precise)

(the nerve)


1st Ramadhan as husband and wife...

sweet and blissful. looks normal, but every usual thing i've done before turned special ever since i got married. especially during this holy ramadhan month.

going tarawikh together. before that, we did our Maghrib prayer together. *blush*

then, waking him up for sahur. eating together, chatting with ayah at the table. then did our Fajr (ececey arab seyh)..

not showing off like, oh how religious i am.. blaah..

but all of this, i didn't think it'll effect me emotionally inside. it's special, and im jotting down as a memoir of mine.

everything is special with a husband you love. literally everything. Alhamdulillah.
(newlywed statement)

p.s: we recently had our 1st monthsary. yay us! 

My Imam

That moment when your husband imam your solat. 


Wednesday, June 17, 2015


You know what's worst than having to wake up every weekday mornings?

KNOWING you have to wake up and leave the best morning cuddle,
every weekday mornings...


well, butter my butt and pop that pimple!
old killjoy...

Friday, May 29, 2015



I'm a wife since 2 weeks ago. Crazy? I know! But expected. Know him too long to get married. LOL.

15 May 2015

After a week of not seeing each other, I saw him smiling confidently in front of me, facing my dad. My dad on the other hand, tried hard to distract himself from feeling cheerless. He, after all, am going to hand me over to another man.

The ceremony started with doa's and speeches. Friends and family members took this chance to smile and wave at me on the dais. My mom and I, both were feeling excited and nervous, witnessing 'business talks' between men, of the exchange (of me).

The moment my dad took Topet's hand, my heartsank.

" Mohamad Taufik Hidayat bin Mohamad Ali Shahbuddin, aku nikahkan kau dengan anakku, Puteri Nnrul Fatehah binti Aziz, dengan mas kahwin, RM**, tunai."

"Saya, Mohamad Taufik Hidayat bin Mohamad Ali Shahbuddin, terima nikahnya, Puteri Nurul Fatehah binti Aziz, dengan mas kahwinnya, RM**, tunai.'

With those words, going only once, I officially became Taufik Hidayat's wife. Puan Puteri, I must say. LoL. My mom got excited, whispered, congrats sayang. You're a wife now. Whereas for my dad, he tried his very best to hold in his tears, as i saw a glimpse of him looking at me with teary eyes. I love you ayah.

The feeling is tremendously heartfilling.

Thank you ayah, for being there for me ever since forever. For 27 years, I failed you multiple times, but never once you failed me. Thank you for everything. You truly a superhero. I love you so much.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

7 days

Just a week left of my single life. Every time I am reminded of the date, my heart beats so hard, I feel like puking. It's nerve wreaking to understand the concept of getting in a marriage life, that it scares yet excite me all in the same time. To be included in a new family. To be accepted. To learn a new family tradition. To understand others personally.

Understanding my future husband isn't that hard, as you all know how long I've been with him. But to be seen/known in a new way. a 'WIFE'. Can you imagine?

"Hey bro. Let me introduce to you, my WIFE."

It way sound simple, yet, to be called a wife, is already a new stage of life for me. Things may seem like normal, but it'll all feel brand new. Like a new born child. A new phase of life.

I know, this is nothing to be compared to being a MOTHER, but I believe in embracing each and every detail in life to the fullest. Not to take anything for granted, or we may never know the true essence of life (me, yapping).

Also, to be accepted by the other half, it's so fulfilling as all my flaws and dots are accepted and well embraced by him. It feels wonderful and magical. Every laughter, tears, anger are to be shared together for a life time.

Life is beautiful. To be accepted as who I am.

Thank you.

count down... 7...

Monday, April 27, 2015

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Sore Butt

When you've worked hard to mold a puppet, to carve that smile, to shine that eyes, making it just perfect for your show.

Then this random sore butt came up and tells you it's ugly and horrid, ending it with "no offence".. 

Then you can only say, "none taken", cause you know, and anybody else knows, it is fabulous as f**k..

P.s: know that comments, critics and supervisions are far more different than insulting. Know your words. Know your motives. 

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Melody of the Wind

chng chng chng
goes the wind chime in the ring

ding ding ding
goes the larger in the wind

melody of the wind
whispering that lullaby
painting unseen words in the air
with brushes from the sky

thus, we shall listen...
just listen

p.s: Still looking for this, for my room

Monday, January 26, 2015


I have my cool
I have my calm
I have my tantrum 
I have my numb 

I have my funny
I have my frowns
I have my ups
I have my downs

I have my wants
I have my needs
I have my obsession 
That sometimes i plead

I have my joy
I have my pride 
I have my happy
But i seldom cry

As heartless you see
As heartful i get
For every moment past
Is a treasure i had.