Listen To Your Heart, You Will Understand

Friday, May 29, 2015



I'm a wife since 2 weeks ago. Crazy? I know! But expected. Know him too long to get married. LOL.

15 May 2015

After a week of not seeing each other, I saw him smiling confidently in front of me, facing my dad. My dad on the other hand, tried hard to distract himself from feeling cheerless. He, after all, am going to hand me over to another man.

The ceremony started with doa's and speeches. Friends and family members took this chance to smile and wave at me on the dais. My mom and I, both were feeling excited and nervous, witnessing 'business talks' between men, of the exchange (of me).

The moment my dad took Topet's hand, my heartsank.

" Mohamad Taufik Hidayat bin Mohamad Ali Shahbuddin, aku nikahkan kau dengan anakku, Puteri Nnrul Fatehah binti Aziz, dengan mas kahwin, RM**, tunai."

"Saya, Mohamad Taufik Hidayat bin Mohamad Ali Shahbuddin, terima nikahnya, Puteri Nurul Fatehah binti Aziz, dengan mas kahwinnya, RM**, tunai.'

With those words, going only once, I officially became Taufik Hidayat's wife. Puan Puteri, I must say. LoL. My mom got excited, whispered, congrats sayang. You're a wife now. Whereas for my dad, he tried his very best to hold in his tears, as i saw a glimpse of him looking at me with teary eyes. I love you ayah.

The feeling is tremendously heartfilling.

Thank you ayah, for being there for me ever since forever. For 27 years, I failed you multiple times, but never once you failed me. Thank you for everything. You truly a superhero. I love you so much.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

7 days

Just a week left of my single life. Every time I am reminded of the date, my heart beats so hard, I feel like puking. It's nerve wreaking to understand the concept of getting in a marriage life, that it scares yet excite me all in the same time. To be included in a new family. To be accepted. To learn a new family tradition. To understand others personally.

Understanding my future husband isn't that hard, as you all know how long I've been with him. But to be seen/known in a new way. a 'WIFE'. Can you imagine?

"Hey bro. Let me introduce to you, my WIFE."

It way sound simple, yet, to be called a wife, is already a new stage of life for me. Things may seem like normal, but it'll all feel brand new. Like a new born child. A new phase of life.

I know, this is nothing to be compared to being a MOTHER, but I believe in embracing each and every detail in life to the fullest. Not to take anything for granted, or we may never know the true essence of life (me, yapping).

Also, to be accepted by the other half, it's so fulfilling as all my flaws and dots are accepted and well embraced by him. It feels wonderful and magical. Every laughter, tears, anger are to be shared together for a life time.

Life is beautiful. To be accepted as who I am.

Thank you.

count down... 7...

Monday, April 27, 2015

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Sore Butt

When you've worked hard to mold a puppet, to carve that smile, to shine that eyes, making it just perfect for your show.

Then this random sore butt came up and tells you it's ugly and horrid, ending it with "no offence".. 

Then you can only say, "none taken", cause you know, and anybody else knows, it is fabulous as f**k..

P.s: know that comments, critics and supervisions are far more different than insulting. Know your words. Know your motives. 

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Melody of the Wind

chng chng chng
goes the wind chime in the ring

ding ding ding
goes the larger in the wind

melody of the wind
whispering that lullaby
painting unseen words in the air
with brushes from the sky

thus, we shall listen...
just listen

p.s: Still looking for this, for my room

Monday, January 26, 2015


I have my cool
I have my calm
I have my tantrum 
I have my numb 

I have my funny
I have my frowns
I have my ups
I have my downs

I have my wants
I have my needs
I have my obsession 
That sometimes i plead

I have my joy
I have my pride 
I have my happy
But i seldom cry

As heartless you see
As heartful i get
For every moment past
Is a treasure i had.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Hidup Senang

Ada orang, dia nak hidup senang, dia kahwin dengan orang kaya entah bagaimana.. Senang dia dapat macam-macam... Tapi sayang, dia tidak pernah senang duduk, walau dengan kesenangan harta, kerana gentarnya suami kayanya (punca kesenangannya) dirampas orang. Senang kah begini?

Ada orang, dia nak hidup senang, dia kahwin dengan lelaki pilihan hidupnya setelah dinilai rapi budi pekertinya. Mereka hidup sederhana namun senang hati dengan apa yang ada, kerana mereka ada kepercayaan antara sesama sendiri. Walaupun dia perlu bersabar untuk meminta sesuatu, namun, setiap pemberian dijaga bagai permata. Senang kan begini? 

Leteran seorang narcissist... 

Monday, November 10, 2014

Prank Calls

As a teenager, i wasnt the brightest fun loving being in the world. But i was (and probably still am) always up to no good. Harmless no good it is. I've always loved how annoyed and confused people can be through their expression.

So one fine evening my mom signed me up to a tuition class and obviously, their kids from other schools there. Being the timid me, i made very few conversation with them. It is, afterall, my first week there. Then came this white sheet of paper came to me after being passed around. There's the name, IC number and phone number of the whole class there. We were reQuired to fill em every class.

Eventually, i knew few girls from the class and also had a few crushes on the boys (urgh, typical teenager, right?), but i just ignored em, until one of em were kind enough to speak with me, as he was one of the girls' schoolmate. We got along and stuff, until i got this sneaky idea.

That attendance paper? with names and ICs and stuff? yeah, i copied down all of their number after getting to know em. I dunno why, i just had the urge to prank call all of the boys, especially the annoying noisy ones.

I called em and pretended to be their long lost indonesian cousin, someone whom they own money to (ceti haram), sexy seductive schoolmate and other craps i could think off, and the stories they told to their friends in class were just too funny! They were annoyed and angry, and the more they were disturbed, the more i cant help bugging them.

Until the nice guy caught me in the act (actually while me prank calling him).

no more prank calls for me now... LOL...

p.s: I feel like i wanna try again more, but people report everything these days. Pulled the fun out of it.. pftt~
p.s.s: besides, nobody uses landlines anymore~

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

But when I do...

When i wake up,
I hate getting out of bed.

But when i do,
I hate getting in the shower.

But when i do,
I hate getting out of the shower.

But when i do,
I hate getting dress.

But when i do,
I hate putting on make up.

But when i do,
I hate going out.

But when i do,
I hate going home.

But when i do,
I hate washing off my make up.

But when i do,
I hate changing in my nighties.

And when i do,
I love my bed.

Monday, October 20, 2014


As straight forward as it seems, this particular event I went is to overcome the fear and boundaries in me (and possibly, others) of dogs.

From a young age, never in my life (or as far as i recall) am taught that dogs are HARAM or forbidden. Even in my PAFA class, dogs are part of Najis (stool) which is obvious, can be cleanse, whereas Harams, can't and results as a sin. To my opinion, we are more or less, were told (and not taught) that dogs are dirty and should be away from. But, we also forgot that dogs too are Allah's creation and a living creature with feelings and emotions. We forgot that in Islam, is all about toleration and peace making. I'm not implying that we should ALL caress and give kisses to them, but instead, we should accept their existence and respect it.

Today, this event is held to truly understand the nature of dogs and also other religions. Not only we learn to face our fear towards dogs and crash down that wall of boundary, but to also show that Islam is a religion of peace and understanding. We can bond and love. We care for others too. And even if things as accidentally made contact with a dog (or a pig), they to can understand how to help or restrain. We live in a country of many different races and religions. It's only fair for us to understand each other. Thankfully, the event today was a success. Everybody seems to enjoy learning and tolerating. Truly heartwarming. Sure, there a few disses of disagreements and judgement, but meh, everybody's a keyboard master. Just know, my (and surely everybody else's) conscious is clear and In syaa Allah, I'm doing this, ikhlas for the sake of learning and peace making.

Syabas to all of the #iwanttotouchadog event crew and facilitators for providing us such eventful and educating experience. Syabas to Syed Azmi for being the leader. Come on guys, beristinjak pun belajar agama ape? LoL..