Listen To Your Heart, You Will Understand

Monday, January 26, 2015


I have my cool
I have my calm
I have my tantrum 
I have my numb 

I have my funny
I have my frowns
I have my ups
I have my downs

I have my wants
I have my needs
I have my obsession 
That sometimes i plead

I have my joy
I have my pride 
I have my happy
But i seldom cry

As heartless you see
As heartful i get
For every moment past
Is a treasure i had.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Hidup Senang

Ada orang, dia nak hidup senang, dia kahwin dengan orang kaya entah bagaimana.. Senang dia dapat macam-macam... Tapi sayang, dia tidak pernah senang duduk, walau dengan kesenangan harta, kerana gentarnya suami kayanya (punca kesenangannya) dirampas orang. Senang kah begini?

Ada orang, dia nak hidup senang, dia kahwin dengan lelaki pilihan hidupnya setelah dinilai rapi budi pekertinya. Mereka hidup sederhana namun senang hati dengan apa yang ada, kerana mereka ada kepercayaan antara sesama sendiri. Walaupun dia perlu bersabar untuk meminta sesuatu, namun, setiap pemberian dijaga bagai permata. Senang kan begini? 

Leteran seorang narcissist... 

Monday, November 10, 2014

Prank Calls

As a teenager, i wasnt the brightest fun loving being in the world. But i was (and probably still am) always up to no good. Harmless no good it is. I've always loved how annoyed and confused people can be through their expression.

So one fine evening my mom signed me up to a tuition class and obviously, their kids from other schools there. Being the timid me, i made very few conversation with them. It is, afterall, my first week there. Then came this white sheet of paper came to me after being passed around. There's the name, IC number and phone number of the whole class there. We were reQuired to fill em every class.

Eventually, i knew few girls from the class and also had a few crushes on the boys (urgh, typical teenager, right?), but i just ignored em, until one of em were kind enough to speak with me, as he was one of the girls' schoolmate. We got along and stuff, until i got this sneaky idea.

That attendance paper? with names and ICs and stuff? yeah, i copied down all of their number after getting to know em. I dunno why, i just had the urge to prank call all of the boys, especially the annoying noisy ones.

I called em and pretended to be their long lost indonesian cousin, someone whom they own money to (ceti haram), sexy seductive schoolmate and other craps i could think off, and the stories they told to their friends in class were just too funny! They were annoyed and angry, and the more they were disturbed, the more i cant help bugging them.

Until the nice guy caught me in the act (actually while me prank calling him).

no more prank calls for me now... LOL...

p.s: I feel like i wanna try again more, but people report everything these days. Pulled the fun out of it.. pftt~
p.s.s: besides, nobody uses landlines anymore~

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

But when I do...

When i wake up,
I hate getting out of bed.

But when i do,
I hate getting in the shower.

But when i do,
I hate getting out of the shower.

But when i do,
I hate getting dress.

But when i do,
I hate putting on make up.

But when i do,
I hate going out.

But when i do,
I hate going home.

But when i do,
I hate washing off my make up.

But when i do,
I hate changing in my nighties.

And when i do,
I love my bed.

Monday, October 20, 2014


As straight forward as it seems, this particular event I went is to overcome the fear and boundaries in me (and possibly, others) of dogs.

From a young age, never in my life (or as far as i recall) am taught that dogs are HARAM or forbidden. Even in my PAFA class, dogs are part of Najis (stool) which is obvious, can be cleanse, whereas Harams, can't and results as a sin. To my opinion, we are more or less, were told (and not taught) that dogs are dirty and should be away from. But, we also forgot that dogs too are Allah's creation and a living creature with feelings and emotions. We forgot that in Islam, is all about toleration and peace making. I'm not implying that we should ALL caress and give kisses to them, but instead, we should accept their existence and respect it.

Today, this event is held to truly understand the nature of dogs and also other religions. Not only we learn to face our fear towards dogs and crash down that wall of boundary, but to also show that Islam is a religion of peace and understanding. We can bond and love. We care for others too. And even if things as accidentally made contact with a dog (or a pig), they to can understand how to help or restrain. We live in a country of many different races and religions. It's only fair for us to understand each other. Thankfully, the event today was a success. Everybody seems to enjoy learning and tolerating. Truly heartwarming. Sure, there a few disses of disagreements and judgement, but meh, everybody's a keyboard master. Just know, my (and surely everybody else's) conscious is clear and In syaa Allah, I'm doing this, ikhlas for the sake of learning and peace making.

Syabas to all of the #iwanttotouchadog event crew and facilitators for providing us such eventful and educating experience. Syabas to Syed Azmi for being the leader. Come on guys, beristinjak pun belajar agama ape? LoL..


Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Pemimpi vol.2 (video)

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” 
-Helen Keller

Pemimpi vol 2.2 (video)

Happiness should be like an oasis, the greener for the desert that surrounds it.
-Rachel Field

Pemimpi vol. 3 (Video)

“We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.” 
-William James

Monday, September 29, 2014

months before~

Just a few months before I'm going to be handed to my significant other.

Within these few months before,
I've seen some changes in our relationship. Everything turns serious but fun. We are more mature and decisive of our future. We thought of home, furniture, stable jobs, kids, clothes. We thought more of the future settlements of educations, schools, medical, travels. Its never too late or too early to plan.

Within these few months before,
I've already felt the wedding pressure. What colour? What theme? Which venue? What gift? Who to invite? It was fun and games at first, until it really involves money and amount of invitations. The jitters are real!

Within these few months before,
Upon receiving wedding invitations from other, it's no longer when is my turn. It's, "lets go and ask how they manage a wedding". The answers are always different but nerve wrecking all the same. I cringe as i watch videos or blogs of failing weddings and being ridiculed of. How humanity is lost, when you are invited to bless the wedding, yet you complained of how bad the food was. You came for free, so shut up. People are so judgmental. 

Within these few months before,
All I thought of is how to save more money, to gain more money. Alas, i'm so wasteful. I just got a proper job, hopefully. I just need to save. Not only for the wedding, but for our future. I need to be more considerate of my S/O. Nothing comes easy and goes free. Just to dot it, I'm bad at counting and too sympathetic, thus I have not much confidence in business. I'd love to do one though.

It may be months before, but in time, it'll turn days in a jiffy~ brr...

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Pemimpi 3.0

It was on a subtle rainy day, we convoy with each other, heading to Bota, Perak, for a friend's wedding. Excited enough from being together again after a long time, we had bigger plans ahead.

On our way, we passed Sri Iskandar, where some of our best memories are made, especially for me. This is where i found my love. All the happiness and sadness of the past overwhelms me as we drove by those familiar places. Those places has changed alot. A freaking mall in SI?? We had to go to all the way to Ipoh if we wanted to buy anything, even underwears.. Whatever it is, those bittersweet moments will always remain there..

We've reached Syamil's wedding, decorated in Grey and candies. There were few people around as we were actually late. Thus, the event felt like ours. We had lunch, and greet each other whom came separated from us. We played and cuddle our baby Pemimpi, Fateh, and we went off...

Where? Home? No...

Topet, Eno, Dya, Nana, Wan, PC, Black, Ken, Izzad, Paan, Muaz, Hendrik, Ajim and myself...

... we were ready to spend our epic weekend in Pangkor Island..

The prediction of the weather we had wasn't very good. The forecast told us, it would be rainy and hardly any sun. But it didn't stop us. We stopped at a near gas station after the wedding to gas up, smoke up and us girls? Change up to comfy island clothes.. As soon as we reached Lumut, we had some difficulties of where to park our cars for the day. But that worked out fine.. RM20 per day, per car.

While waiting for 3 of our photographer friends (still taking photos of the newly weds).. Dya and I had some roadside ice-cream which felt very nostalgic to me. At the same time, Topet was caught by a makcik, selling snorkeling tickets to us. She said she'll sell the tickets cheaper to students.. At that point, all of us automatically admits that we were students. Liaarrss... hahaha!! But, we got cheap tickets and 1 free. Worth it! After that, we couldn't wait any longer, so we rode ahead on the ferry to Pangkor!

No matter how many times you've rode a boat, you'll always get excited on one each time. We all headed to the open view part of the ferry and enjoyed the breeze, taking selfies, as usual, using phones and gopro. Some of the boys even got help from some attractive french tourist.. na'ah Paan.. Behave~

As soon as we've reached the island, we halt a van taxi and it drove us all to Pangkor Inn. On the way, the boys were very rowdy, not too weird for them though. They act like that all the time. But it seems very funny in a compact pink van. Haha! The uncle didn't seem to mind at all. Thank goodness.

We've reached the Inn and was a little disappointed at it. The pool and the chalets looked larger in the photo, but it was shallow and small. Meh, sokay, we have the beach. The room felt so nice, but you know, like any other hotels or chalet rooms, all of them feels nice. We all were lead to our designated rooms. There were only 4 of us girls, so we fit 1 room. The boys filled 3 more rooms, 1 beside ours and 2 more a little further. We had our showers and rest, until we all gather for dinner. Dya was already making a list of what she wanted to eat, Lempeng Pisang, Jagung Bakar, Kerang Bakar and Ice Cream Goyang.

Dinner was fancy and wonderful. As usual, if you eat by the sea, you have to get seafood, so we had Ikan Masak Stim, Kerang Bakar, Ikan masak 3 Rasa, Kangkung Belacan and more.. The dinner highlight was went almost everybody ordered ice tea, and all was laughing of how the ice tea became mainstream. Through out, dinner was the bomb!

After dinner, i thought of rushing out to get some Ice Cream Goyang, but it closed by that time. Heart broken. We then, headed to the beach. It was dark and there, I was pointed out, small blue dots of light on the shore. They said it was the Kunang-Kunang Air (water fireflies). Heck, i wasn't sure.. but it was mesmerizing. I even caught one! Moving on, we halted at the far corner of the beach where there's hardly lights and personally, it was scary. But nope, they really insisted on staying there.

So we settled down, getting comfy on the wet sand and rocks. We started to play games. The 1st game we played was Sambung Lagu (continuing songs). In this game, after someone ended their song (anywhere in the song, probably the chorus or the bridge), the next person needed to continue a different song starting with the last word or the sound of the previous song, within 20 to 30 seconds. Any song can do. It was hilarious! At first, we tried solo, but it was too hard, so we paired up. I paired up with Dya, and most of the songs we knew was in English. After a while, with all the hardships and all, believe it or not. Dya and I were the 1st to get punished. HAHA! We were punished to point one finger on the ground and spin around it 10 times, and then high-5 your partner. Simple? NO! It made us dizzy and our coordination were sooo off, i didn't know what i was doing! It was dreadfully funny. And guess who's idea was that? My one and only, beloved fiancee, Topet and the sarcastic Muaz. The daredevils. After us, there were others who were punished the same as us. Too cute! After the game, we decided to play other games like Sambung Berita or ABC.. those were fun too, but not as fun as the 1st one.. We had to stop as the tides are flushing up on us and it was already midnight.

Back to our rooms, we hung out by the balcony, eating Dya's cupcakes and tarts. They were wonderful. We (mostly me though) played some fire sparkles that Dya bought. We chatted away silently in fear that the other inn neighbours might be bothered. It was a Quiet peaceful evening, with the night rain and friends gathered around. When its time to go, Muaz made a point to wake up early at 7.30 to swim. Everybody else was groaning, but believe me, nobody would wake up that early, not even Muaz. LoL..

I woke up the next morning, feeling so cold from the aircon. I stepped outside from the inn, chatting away with Dya, getting warmed up. It was 7.30 in the morning and it was raining, and guess what? Nobody else is awake yet! LoL! After 8, we knocked on Muaz's door, only to be answered by Hendrik. They claimed to have been up since 6am. Pfftt, as if. We got ready and all, and all of us we ready to hit the beach by 9am.

He had light breakfast that morning. Among 14 of us, they only order 5 nasi lemak, and was passed around, forcing each other to finish them. Haha! Then, we get on a boat to an island for snorkeling fun! The water wasn't as clear as Langkawi, that i went before, but going there with friends was worth it. Dya soon dropped her breathing pipe piece of her goggles. She was already panicking, losing the goggles (or a part of it) meaning having to pay RM80. We all search for it in the dusty sea. It was kinda hard to look. I found a piece of something on the ocean floor and i dived to get it before it got away. Instead of finding the pipe piece, i found a whole new set of lost goggle. Haha!! Since that, they called me Anak Laut. Whaa?? haha!! We moved ahead on the other side of the island. The water there was clearer and better, abit. We swam till our hearts contented. I nearly drowned (out of exhaustion) abit. Luckily, Topet grabbed me and saved me. Thanks cayang, my hero. My mouth was filled with water and my nose was cover with the goggle piece. I panicked. So, i tossed away my goggles (i tossed away my life jacket earlier), then i swam better. I swam like a fish. We even had Hendrik "free diving lessons" in the water, where he teaches us how to dive without letting out air. It was hard for me, i didn't succeed.

By noon, we all went back to the Pangkor Beach. My fiancee was too enthusiastic about this Marble water sport, he paid for me as well, without my consent.. Oh well, at least its not the Banana Boat. The Marble only supports 4 people per ride, So i rode with my fiancee, Paan and Black. Paan was responsible for the wrist Go Pro on this ride, so his left arm is occupied. The ride was amazingly extreme, I screamed for life! It was glorious! During the hectic ride, I locked Paan's legs with my legs to avoid him falling off the ride. I myself was tumbling off. In mid break of the ride, Topet took the Go Pro, so I responsible to lock him next, him especially since he's at the corner of the ride. It was wild and wonderful! I spitted out utter rubbish during the ride. Haha! Hendrik, Wan, Muaz and Ajim rode the next ride, and Hendrik and Ajim fell of the ride. Funny as it is, they refuse to admit it. We saw you guys, bro~ hahaa!!

Tired, wet and full of scratches and blood on our arms and feet (grazed them on corals during snorkeling), we showered and got ready to check out. We took our final pictures on the island before heading for the Jetty. On the ferry, many of us fell asleep until we reach the dock. We had lunch at Manjong. Before heading home, we stopped by the leaning tower of Teluk Intan. They wanted to check out the car exhibition nearby there. Our final stop before we all go separate ways was the Sg. Buloh RnR.. We applauded each other for their effort, company and fun. We laugh, swam and smile together. With heavy heart, they puffed they're final ciggy, we hugged our final hugs, and off we go, leaving this wonderful weekend behind us all.

We may have scars and muscle aches, but these are the things that bear in our minds, where we got them and why. Always ended up giggling remembering our weekend with Pemimpi 3.0..

Next stop, Pulau Perhentian 2015?