Togetherness

People say, even when you're with somebody for years, it's a different story once you get married. It won't be as beautiful, romantic anymore.

I'd just brush those words off my shoulders. Topet and I are too close and lovey-dovey to be dull.

Boy, how wrong I was.. but, it's not as bad as I thought.

Yeah, I admit, we got dull and grey. Everything is a routine, and everything is made to be untold (meaning, things done without much communication). It got boring and the marriage got so stale, so we decided to have a child, hence, MIKA...

Once Mika came in, the 1st few months was the most beautiful moment. This is going to spark our family up again. But things got wilder than before. We are both new and still wet behind the ears when it comes to parenting, so there's sooooooo much to argue about. We both just won't back down.

Even now, I realized, I got more aggressive and angry whenever I talk to my husband, especially when he won't even pay attention, but I too, notice my own flaws. I get more disagreeable and unpleasant, not to mention emotional and negative. I'm not sure why.

But, one thing for sure, no matter how I think I'd get aggressive, I keep in mind, not to keep unwanted feelings under, or I'm bound to explode (undesirable) or fall into depression (very scared of). I share things with my husband, either he agrees or not, he has to bear this with me, it's why got married in the 1st place; to share.

My husband, on the other hand, can be sooooo... urghh... (but I love him so much, it frustrates me). He pays so little attention when talking, and really don't know how to sugarcoat words (not that I ask a lot of). At least, to listen to my opinions, rather than forcing me to scream it out to you. This is exactly why I like to decide things myself because he can be so unattentive and wishy-washy... I wish to just snap his PS4 in half so he can stop playing GTAv ALL THE TIME.

Cayang, I really miss our small pillow talks, about simpler things like aliens and the cosmos. Luckily, I still get snuggles when I demand it... I really wish you'd pay more attention to me than looking for money all the time... sigh~

In my heart

Almost every day, when I look at my son, smiling and laughing, I thought, how lucky my son is, to have a family, people who care for him all around, to receive unconditional love. And I unconsciously compared him to babies who are tortured, abused, assaulted sexually and mentally, at a very young age before 1 year old.

I found myself teary and filled with guilt and anger, upon comparing my son to those unfortunate babies. I also question, will they ever heal if they survive such torture? will they be permanently affected by whatever scars they got?

To look at my son's smiling face, prying for attention, I imagine, what if my son were born from somebody else, with such abusive background? Where he'll get spanks instead of cuddles for crying? Where he'll be silenced instead of being fed for being hungry? Where he'll be ignored instead of played with, when learning to sit, stand or crawl?

I hug my son, praying and thanking Allah, for blessing us with him in our family. And pray that all the babies, toddlers, children and teenagers to be equally blessed with love from their family. Child abuse needs to end.

Mummy instinct gets stronger every day.

Sunny Ma Bunny No More~

Because of my tight schedule for work and personal playtime, I neglected my rebound love many times.. Im so sorry love...

Now, he's not with us anymore.....





 CHILL!! He's not dead yet!

My dad took pity of our situation, he gave my bunny to my aunt, thus making her, his new owner. I had to agree. Sunny isn't compatible with a grassless condo life with me. He deserve the sun, grass and a family attention, all which my aunt and her family can provide.

He is now happier his new family, which is the best for him. I miss him though. I heard he got new BFFs, a bunch of cats my aunt took care of. He even got a new name, Totoro (my cousin named him that.)

I know you're just a bunny and will never understand this, but you've been a special emotional aid to me all this while.. You heard my woes, saw my tears and laughter, my affections and everything. I'll miss those moments when we would sit together, side by side, on the darkest nights. You would some times run around and nibble me everywhere. I would snuggle you and you would just sit there, snuffling.. And when you're excited, you would run around so fast, then lay under a tree shade when you're tired. That's the cutest! You would get mad after I smothered my face on you until you got uncomfortable. You would just thump you feet so loud! Haha! Annoyed much? These scars you gave me, will always make me remember you by~

There's so much more... But the best is when you would kiss me all over my hands and chin when you missed me... You are such a puppy sometimes..

I miss you Sunny (now Totoro)

You are truly the sunniest part of my life. Thank you for everything. Will visit you soon ok?

my big baby boy~

Tribute to Robin Williams

Robin Williams, an actor, comedian and a father figure to me on the big screen.. Im his movies, he's always giving the inspiring words, phrase, smiles and jokes.. seldom the empty ones.. He's brilliant..

This morning, I was shocked about the news of his passing.. Growing up to his movies, the news really took effect on me. I would miss him very much through his movies..

Jumanji

Aladdin

Flubber

Jack...

His smiles are sincere, clear enough to seal this depression in life. I didn't expect him to commit suicide, but then again, I don't know him too well in life anyways.. What I'm trying to say is, he's amazing and I will miss him so, as he will never again appear in the screen for me, for us all.. my condolences to his family and those who loved him..

Life Hiccups

in life, there will always be hiccups, where you have to stop doing what ever in order to control your own freak nature show. at least, that was what i did when i have hiccups. the real hiccups.

but life hiccup is different. because of you yourself, you decided to stop for no reason. probably the only reason is laziness or lack of confidence. but by the time you realised it, you're already covered with doubt, misery and guilt.

for me, i'm having a major one. for months, i am unemployed and i still have the will to build a family. i have now nothing on me. i'm feeling useless, stupid and can't seem to do anything right. i'm depressed. even when i try to bring myself back on my feet, there will always that doubt on my back bringing me back down, laying motionless in my room of nothingness. 

i'm sucked in. with no more will power to achieve anything. i left my blind ears back for people to scream at. i continuously promises to wake up for my deep wide eyed slumber, yet i can't decide when will that happen. my lips can only say words you want to hear but isn't really from the soul.

whisper. whisper to me. put my feet up against yours and walk for me till i can walk again. i need it. i need that most. no one in this world is really my friend. no one but ALLAH. i must pray. seek forgiveness for the ill deeds i have done. seek refuge from evil doers of the world, be it man or monster.

i seek shelter from you, ya ALLAH. make this sinner clean again, for you are the only one most forgiveful and loving. AMIN.

i am having a life hiccup. a major one, and i think i know why...

War isn't Hell

War is War

and 

Hell is Hell

War isn't Hell

and 

Hell isn't War

Hell is for sinners,

who deserved to be punished,

decided by God.

War includes innocent bystanders

whom are sometimes clueless of what's happening.

Children, Families, Friends, Animals.

Wars determined by power hungry politicians and dictators.

In War

There are innocent bystanders.

Not in Hell.

This is my LIFE

work, social, research, entertainment

I'm still dazed

Despite the old age I'm coming to,
I still can't really say that I've matured along with my age.

I still act repulsively.
I still am not sophisticated.
and not to mention, still am very playful.

And there are worse times, when i have to admit,
that I'm not sure i'm womanly at all.
I'm lack of sensitivity and just plain ignorant.

While some girls would watch love movies with emotions,
I'd rather watch my cartoons and Anime.
Yes, I watch dramas as well..
but only selective ones, like Rom Com (Romance Comedy) or Anime.

I should have attended that grooming school for girls my mom suggested.
(but it was too much of a hassle at that time.)
I still lack of that delicate feel.

But then again, i must have some strong points, somewhere, right?

URGH!! This frustrates me even more!!
Just let me try being...  womanly sometimes..
HAHAHA!! I'm sure it'll shock everybody!!

p.s: and here i am ranting about my selfish self again, when knowingly it's noon and I haven't slept a wink last night! Well, just have to stay awake for the rest of the day now~ goshh~

lazy ass to the bone...

i just lost count on how many times in my life have i referred to myself as fat and lazy. and still, there just isn't much effort or enthusiasm in me to actually pick up the ass and lose weight. of course i did jog and done Pilates... but none of em actually maintain at least 3 days... goner!! im not really a patient person, so kind of expected fast results. if it isn't working, im done. major problem..

and my boyfriend,

i know how much he loves me and met well about myself. but he... (sob sob) would always complain if i eat too little. its like,

Puteri

i think i'll just have the mushroom soup and salad.

Taufik

what? no! have a proper meal! order rice, NOW!

i love you so much Cayang, but... why???

of course, partly my fault for ordering too much sometimes, but i could at least have it take away and eat it later, don't force me to eat it! coz it'll end up, me having a super bulge under my shirt, and its not the boobies... :(

also, im so unmotivated to do any exercising activity, especially when im alone, or fasting (this month). i would just stuff food in my face, complaining how big my thigh is, or this tummy, or my butt or this cursed double chin, and still cant get the freaking up in the morning. YES, I CANT GET UP I THE MORNING! why? COZ I CANT SLEEP AT NIGHT. i'll end up sleeping by 6 or 7 am (after sahur) the waking up in the evening like, 3 or 4 pm... how am i suppose to help myself if im like this???

my unhealthy option was taking Dulcolax (laxative meds) to wash out my stomach everyday (means, pooping diarrhea on purpose). it had me feeling good, and happy when i go on my scale, but then i realized, of course this thing/method would have a side effect. so now, i seldom take em, sort of.

my weight now is 55 to 56kg.. my aim is 50 to 51. need to shape up!!! >,<

p.s: i know i can do it if i just put my mind in to it! no more fatness man!! enough!!

Social Network Maniac

lets see... what do i hv...


Facebook >> http://www.facebook.com/princesscahaya (personal)

Twitter >> https://twitter.com/princesscahaya (personal)

Tumblr >> http://princesslovechocolates.tumblr.com/

2nd Tumblr >> http://scribblingwords.tumblr.com/

BlogSpot >> http://puterinurulfatehah.blogspot.com/

KEEK >> http://www.keek.com/princesscahaya

Youtube >> https://www.youtube.com/user/DoodlingPrincess?feature=mhee

9GAG (not that iv posted anything yet) >> http://9gag.com/puterinurul88

Instagram >> http://followgram.me/puterinurul88/modal 

Pinterest >> http://pinterest.com/puterinurul88/


oh dear... this is bad... :((
almost like i dont hv a real social life... which i dont, really~

im a sad kind of human being.. :(( huwaaa~

Life as a Degree Student

Alhamdulillah...
all hustles and bustles as a student has finally ended..
(in syaa allah, if my result turns out well)

im sorta sad (expected) to leave my dear friends in Puncak..
they're the best comical people iv met..
of course, my school and diploma friends are awesome too..
but these guys, they're really, undeniably comical.. (and they said, im the cartoony one)

anyway,
within my 3years of degree in animations..
alot of frustrations and challenges faced me, and i was afraid i fear it alone.
thus, a few gentle and loving friends stood behind me, supporting me all the way..

together, we faced all sorts of challenges,
assignments, tests, exams, death, revival, mockery and discouragements.

thank you guys,
for coming to accompanying me in my room,
for letting me hang over ur house almost all the time,
for lending/giving the sweater,
for giving me the awesome anime collections,
for sharing awesome asgmnts updates and infos,
for sharing cool VFX tutorials,
for trusting in me with your lighter,
for being such a lovely dope,
for helping me with my japanese vocabs,
for letting me sleepover at ur house freQuently,
for giving me moral support when im down,
for your warm loving hugs,
for all ur troll jokes that make me laugh so bad,
for being my irritator and fight buddy,
for bring me to mamak almost evry night,
for being a sweet awkward fellow,
for having such awesome patience with me,
for laughing at my lame jokes,
for sharing hilarious youtube vids,
for sharing new experiences,
for that many lovely things we shared together...

but mainly,
thank you, for being you... :)

and also,
im sorry if,
i made you guys angry and frustrated,
i happened to hit you too hard,
i made you sad and disappointed,
i owe you guys and hvnt paid back (do tell, im very forgetful)
i was stubborn
i was passive in a group project
i was such a a**hole,
i even said anything offensive,
i was being too insensitive,
i made things awkward,
i embarrassed any of you,
i was being too annoying and troll much,
i was such a scumbag,
i made all the things that i shudnt hv done or said towards you guys...

forgive me? :(

the time between 2010 to 2012, those times can nvr be replace by anything in the world,
even when there's an alien invasion, going to suck my memories of you guys for no good reasons,
i'll nvr give em up... for you guys are awesome, stupendous and super AWESOME!!

i love you guys, may we meet again someday and hopefully, you guys will only change physically and maintain your awesomeness.. :)

p.s: you know who you are.. :)

empty

yup...

frankly, i feel empty here. and im sure of myself that im not the type of person who would have trouble adapting in new places.

i'm here for almost 2 1/2 years and still, this place seems to be a stranger to me. there's alot of things that i dont know, and weirdly, i dont even bother to know. maybe coz, in this place, people seems to take their own business personally too much... maybe coz, there's no such thing as tolerance here, let alone love and warmth.

its kinda sad to say that, despite my long being here, i dont love this place at all. except for my classmates and certain nice people here, i just cant find the urge to love here. specifically, i would want to blame the hierarchy of the campus, but then again, it wouldnt be too fair for me to judge (thus, one cant help judging if there's too much coincidence, right?).

i'm kind of tired putting on a fake attitude, just to be part of the faculty. Being a hypocrite, pretending to like the system and all, its just too tiring. no wonder few of the most potential students here quit. i quite understand now. i'm lucky to be part of my (isolated) course. being new (course) to the faculty, others seems to (kinda) neglect us, as new comers. judging us coz we werent from here since diploma years. but for me, im kinda glad that im not from here, or else, i would be brainwashed with the system here too, making me like em... its not that im accusing em being rotten or anything like it... im not here to judge, but like i said, (one cant help judging if there's too much coincidence).

i miss my Perak life. i would lie if i'd say we never had any hypocrite times, but it was for the better and things turned out lovely. that's right. its all because we love each other and we cant afford to see em getting hurt coz we were too frank. some things are best when kept pleasant, coz its not about how hurt u felt in the past, what matters is how u'r feeling now.

say im childish of talking about love and warmth and all, but, why are we studying so hard, trying too hard to be professionals if one cant fulfill the need of the heart? i wouldnt wanna work on the field, feeling fake and discharge. if being too stressful is making you look professional, then, excuse me for wanting to work "coz i love my work". 

right now, i (doubtly i'm alone) just wanna finish my studies here and be done with it. 

p.s: excuse my rant. i just needed a time out~

En.Ezwan

a father to us future animators,

caretaker to us new philosphers...

thank you, En Ezwan

May us studies in the UK be a success!

we love you!!

;')

official wrap for kali kedua drama...

arini, 

dgn jayanye,

put abeh jd conti-girl.

selama 39ari,

kami dok wat keje ari2 cm adek-bradek, cm family...

gerenti rindu korg gile2..

seriously rindu sgt2...

thank you:

Crew:

Abg Ramdan

(assistant director)

"byk ajar put mcm2, seriously mcm2.. 

wpown prangai xsberapa snonoh, but, ur da man, bro!"

Abg Azrul

(PM)

"wpown muke blagak nk mati, tp hati ade taman.. xmo nakal2.."

Abg Wan Janggut

(assist PM)

"seriously sokmo wat put tkot, tp, lme2 dpt tau, hati emo upenye... 

sorry klu put nakal2, wat abg terasa ke ape, tp abg gak punce die.. hahah!!"

Tam

(make-up)

"asl ade can je.. calit lipstick, calit eyeshadow, last2 full dinner makeup... 

aduh... tp tam sgt matang... skit... suke dok dgn tam.. mwahh!! <3"

KakNowra

(assist make-up)

"satu2 nye crew pompuan yg ari2 put blh mngadap, put blh mngendeng... 

will miss you most"

Syawal

(wardrobe)

"plg byk salah paham and perang gajah dgn makduyung ni.... 

pape pown, bila syawal menjelang, kami 0-0 ye nok.. <3 mwaahh!! "

Abg Junid

(runner)

"mula2 put egat die ni, jenis penyepi, xcmpo dak2 gile cm kami.. upenye... hamik... ble dpt tau.. tlopong put tgk... wat lagak2 bapok sume.. hahaha... kacak la abg junid ni.. hahah!!"

Abg Wan

(handy)

"mat romeo... hehehe... wat muke miang sokmo... 

jrg dpt bcakap dgn die, sbb sokmo tido... hahahha"

Kecik

(assist handy)

"mat kecik muke jambu ni... bdn kecik, tp ade hati nk bgusti dgn put... 

hahah!! muke nk sinis je kn?? ;p"

Abg We (Wan)

(Audio)

"crew yg suke wat nakal n loya buruk... tp ble dpt BB baru... hamek.. 

anti social tros!! heheh.. org kedua suara plg kuat... akn ku rindu audio man ini.. ;)"

Pok Ki (Pak Zuki)

(D.O.P)

"wpown nmpak cm ikut org je.. ni otai dlm crew woo... diam2 die... 

sgt cool je.. heheh... suke mngalah dgn sume put ckp... hehehe... ;p"

Abg Zul

(assist D.O.P)

"ni lg satu, sgt cool... ble wat keje, follow the flow je... heheh... tp nakal2 dlm diam... 

abg zul!! tuka tape!! tuka bat3!! lap lense!! heheheh"

Pok Li (Pak li)

(lighting)

"suke pggey put "ADEK..." seyum aje... ari2 xpenah miss fist bump dgn put... heheheh"

Abg Awie

(lighting)

"haa... yg ni ha... ape?? bf put on location?? mmg xla... tp die ni, plg best wat sakat, melatah kemain!! hahahah!! suke buli org, xsedar die tu mgse buli gak... hahhaah!!! klu gelak org bcakap je... dr KL ni, rse2 blh smpai JOHOR la sore die org je.. bak kte abg Zul, 'seb baek, die sorg je kt sni cmtu... klu 3 org??'"

Abg Jai

(prop master)

"otai prop yg sokmo M.I.A.. cr brg prop.. hehhe... tp die blh tahan sarcasm gak die ni.. hehhe"

Abg Shah

(prop)

"blh tahan gatal, selenge dgn poyo... tp pape pown, dlm golongan hati ade taman gak... 

ckp besar, jnji akan dpt geget put... xdpt pown... bweekk!!!!!"

Plakon:

NasT

( DUDE.... you... no comment... hahahha.. egat matang.. upenye, slenge gak...)

Faralyna

(manje2.. tp sgt bbakat dlm mghafal skrip... wahh.. truja)

Hairul

(mula2 lagak poyo.. skali.. sengal gakk.. sesuai dgn gf die, si fa tuh... ;p)

Ramona

(makcik mona ni, sgt2 cute, tp ble gelak.. hamik.. cm ape tah xtau.. hahah!! miss you mona)

Kak Anne Ngasri

(muke chantek.. tp sengal abeh akak ni... no comment la.. hahah!!)

Nazim

("muke chantek, tp mulut cm longkang".. ayat trademark tuh!!!)

Kak Sophie Hana

(suke kakak ni... tmpat plg best bmanja... ;))

Abg Ery
(lagak gaya macho poyo2.. tp gamers upenye... GENG.. ;))

Aunty Dian P.Ramlee

(muke serious.. tp klu bab mnyakat.. suke no!!!)

Abg Awien (ridzuan hashim)

(mamat yg plg no comment laaa.. (muke sinis) kan? kan? abg la konon... geng silau)

Nenek

(dlm drama ni, die la plg garang, tp real life... ramah abehh... )

Jobot

(mat romeo yg sokmo nyanyi syok sendri.. hahaha...)

Kak Wan Azlin

(watak mak kampung.. tp real life, sgt vain.. hehe.. rambut yg sgt chantek.. and ade anak yg cute tp nakal/lasak yg suke pggey put, Kakak Puteriiiiiii....)

Naim

(budak yg senang teruja.. sgt innocent... mwahh!! hehehe)

most of all:

Thank you ayah for giving me this opportunity... mwahh!!

p.s: yes.. i know.. in future, i may work like this again.. but this is my first time... i wanna remember them as much as i cud.. ;)... (hamek.. pjg bderet post kali ni.. sje wat malay, nk bg dorg tau how i feel towards them.. ;))

p.s.s: DONT FORGET TO CATCH KALI KEDUA DRAMA IN TV9, STARTING 8TH SEPTEMBER!!! :)

Politics?

lately, in this lovely country of mine...
there was a riot... with the same cause, over and over again...

RACISM...

hmm? why ah?
we go to the same mix race high school (for everybody),
yet nobody is even considering being sensitive about race and religion?

aiyoo??
you go school..
during Agama/Moral class, you ponteng ka??
donno about respecting others?
about sensitivity? unity? friendship? loyalty?

what good will these bickering bring?
for money? status? power?
what about simple things as,
bring love and joy? peace?

you think WAR FOR PEACE is it?

you elderly people said that we're young, dont understand anything.
well, isnt that good? that we dont think as complicating as you guys do?

think CRITICALLY... not COMPLICATEDLY...

power-hungry yek?? pity...

i dont take any side... i HATE politics nowadays....
all so senseless...

*sigh*

:(

i miss him so much...

it feels like forever since i last met him.. 

:(

Damn You!

you shud be sooooooo thankful that my parents taught me to control my temper! i swear i feel like calling you and curse you so bad, you'll regret that you even know me.

who do you think you are?? just because u think you'r greater than i am, doesnt give you any rights to take me lightly. i GAVE you this freaking opportunity for you to be known in the freaking industry. you swore to me to do your best and wont disappoint me and will make this work. but now??

right from the start you got me into trouble! i was scolded, dissed, mocked, all because of you! ever since this project started, all the troubles happened, all because of you!! seriously... YOU!!

now dont try to detest me or outsmart me or anything!!

yes, i do think its partly my fault too... why? because i was too soft to be pushed around. WHY? cause i RESPECT you... but now? dude.. you just lost it.. you're now just a DOUCHBAG to me, a sweet talker and all talk!! i dont care about your other works... you didnt prove to me anything..

dont try to say im stupid. i TRUSTED you, and you gave me CRAP!! oh wait, i was stupid... TO EVEN TRUST YOU WITH THIS IN THE 1ST PLACE... evn after weeks and weeks of excuses... i had enuff...

now we lost it, and its mainly your fault... i cant cover for you anymore.. you and your freaking EGO... 

Yes, i am a coward... for not telling this straight to your face. coz beside you, is a woman, whom happens to be my friend. you'r lucky enuff that im not that much of a bitch to call her and tell her on you. coz i respect your relationship.

p.s: FYI, im not the type of person to blame another frm a failure... but this... thanks alot... seriously, ALOT!!

Danny Messi no more

various of messages been spread thru FB and mobile phones,

about Danny....

"Danny had passed away."

"Danny is still alive because his heart is still pumping."

"Danny's oxygen machine will be pulled off on Friday dawn."

"Danny's oxygen machine will be pulled off on today at dawn."

"Danny had passed away 10mins ago."

i honestly dunt know what to believe....

thus, i decided to only believe Leo, who know what is really happening.

but,

when i browsed his FB page,

Leo himself claimed that Danny had left us...

Ahmad Danial Shamshul Bahrin @ Danny Messi @ Danny Mello

i'v only know him since earlier last year,

semester 1, degree in animation.

my classmate, my animation family member.

he was just a cunning rascal, pretty much annoying and sometimes very disturbing,

like, ignoring when people calling his name, taking things without considering someone in using it,

and love to annoy you when you least expected it.

but, eventho he's like that,

he never fail to make people comfortable, and help whenever he's needed.

always kidding around with is goofy smile and style,

that changing hair do now and then,

the freQuent track pants to class...

there was never an awkward moment between him and anybody...

talked to him for a min, and suddenly, you're his bestfriend...

a good friend indeed....

now, i'v known him for 3semester...

only for 3sem, he's now gone....

before, there were 2 Danials in our class, Danny and Danini....

now, left 1...

we hv always loved the confusion, between which danial...

but now... no more...

no more Danny Messi

Danny Messi no more

innalillah~

RIP danny... you will never be forgotten....

Junko Furuta

i was trolling the internet, reading random articles of amazing and weird things,

when i encountered a very2 cruel and sad blog post.

Junko Furuta:

this case happened in end of 1988,

Junko was tortured by 4 men (masked devils) for 44 days until her last breath.

they tortured her so badly, i almost cried reading it.

here is how the tortured went:

DAY 1:

 November 22, 1988:

 Kidnapped
Kept captive in house, and posed as one of boy’s girlfriend
Raped (over 400 times in total)
Forced to call her parents and tell them she had run away
Starved and malnutritioned
Fed cockroaches to eat and urine to drink
Forced to masturbate
Forced to strip in front of others
Burned with cigarette lighters
Foreign objects inserted into her vagina/anus

DAY 11:

 December 1, 1988:

 Severely beat up countless times
Face held against concrete ground and jumped on
Hands tied to ceiling and body used as a punching bag
Nose filled with so much blood that she can only breath through her mouth
Dumbbells dropped onto her stomach
Vomited when tried to drink water (her stomach couldn’t accept it)
Tried to escape and punished by cigarette burning on arms
Flammable liquid poured on her feet and legs, then lit on fire
Bottle inserted into her anus, causing injury

DAY 20:

 December10, 1989:

 Unable to walk properly due to severe leg burns
Beat with bamboo sticks
Fireworks inserted into anus and lit
Hands smashed by weights and fingernails cracked
Beaten with golf club
Cigarettes inserted into vagina
Beaten with iron rods repeatedly
Winter; forced outside to sleep in balcony
Skewers of grilled chicken inserted into her vagina and anus, causing bleeding

DAY 30:

 Hot wax dripped onto face
Eyelids burned by cigarette lighter
Stabbed with sewing needles in chest area
Left nipple cut and destroyed with pliers
Hot light bulb inserted into her vagina
Heavy bleeding from vagina due to scissors insertion
Unable to urinate properly
Injuries were so severe that it took over an hour for her to crawl downstairs and use the bathroom
Eardrums severely damaged
Extreme reduced brain size

DAY 40:

January 1, 1989:

 Begged her torturers to “kill her and get it over with”
 Junko greets the New Years Day alone
Body mutilated
Unable to move from the ground

DAY 44:

 January 4, 1989:

The four boys beat her mutilated body with an iron barbell, using a loss at the game of Mah-jongg as a pretext. She is profusely bleeding from her mouth and nose. They put a candle’s flame to her face and eyes.Then, lighter fluid was poured onto her legs, arms, face and stomach, and then lit on fire. This final torture lasted for a time of two hours. Junko Furuta died later that day, in pain and alone. 

Nothing could compare 44 days of suffering she had to go

through. When her mother heard the news and details of what had happened to her daughter, she fainted. She had to undergo a psychiatric outpatient treatment . 

Imagine her endless pain. Her killers are now free men. Justice was never served, not even after 20 years. They deserve a punishment much greater than they had put upon Furuta, for putting an innocent girl through the most unbearable suffering. This story from 1989 is true. Please spread her story around. Everyone should know about the existence of Junko Furuta’s unimaginable and incomprehensible suffering, and this is why this group has been made. Invite your friends. Never let her story be forgotten. If this story changes the life of at least one person then it has been worth it.

Rest In Eternal Peace,
Junko Furuta
1989-Eternity

TALK it out

most of the time,
if you talk out the problem,
it can easily be solve...

but if you start out with anger,
ego rises,
both parties get hurt, right?

despite what u said b4,
"explain to them, they wud understand",
why didnt you do that?

if u feel that what i said is hurting you,
did you thought why i did that?
did you thought,
i must hv said something to make her say that.

if you understand the situation,
and try asking why things happen,
it wudnt turn out this way, right?

greatest cause for an argument: assumptions
i guess that happened, right?

p.s: i really dont understand this... jezz.. feeling a Dejavu here...