im gonna reflect evrything i did..
what i said i wont do, but i did...
when we hooked up together (bfore the devastating break up in the middle), i promised myself to be the most perfect gf ever. you know.. the ones who wont:
> get jealous easily.
> be so irritating and gedik.
> be unreasonable.
> be unforgiving.
> stop you from doing what u want (that wont effect our relationship)
> be too bossy or fussy.
> treat you so bad.
and the list goes on.....
what im trying to say is.. be so good that u'll feel like the luckiest man alive to be with me.. or evn just not regretting being with me.
but some how, i felt that i'v done evrything i said i wouldnt do. i know that nobody's perfect, but to keep repeating doing it, is no accident (but most of the time it is... i didnt unconciously.. HONEST!!).
you used to be so open with me, but now, its like you hv to keep some in, so i wont get piss off, and recently, u admit that i get piss off easily and too often too. when you said that, i felt like a large SHAME boulder banged my chest. im ashamed with myself for not keeping my own promises/vows. i felt like im a horrible bitchy gf, like the gfs i once detested, randomly by how they treat their bfs (get what i mean?). im also ashamed with you, afraid that u'll feel that being with me is a burden or somewhat...
i know that you'r also annoyed with my stubborn attitude, and making you bear with it, is just unfair. we argue over small silly things like make up and messages and habits... its all just not right...
i cant promise that i'll change straight away, but i can promise that i'll try. to be the girl you once knew before, the girl whom you had fun with, long time ago. its not all about fun in a relationship, but hye, most of it, IS... ;)
im not sweet,
im not lady like as u like,
im not creative as i shud be (considering the course im taking)
im blur most of the time (pissing u off evrytime),
im a clown,
i hardly have manners (in front of you, usually),
i showed you my ugly side (almost all the time.. i mean literally ugly),
i have attitude problem,
i have weird fetish and flaws
bla bla bla....
the point is, im not like most girls, which you like and desire me to be,
i can try to change (the ones that was advised by million of people that im suppose to change),
so be patient ok...
just to let you know that, no matter what happen...
im always with you, evn when im not me, i will always be with you...
with love and kisses,
p.s: this letter/blogpost, is not for me to say any fault that u did to me, its for me to say sorry for any fault i did to you.