Listen To Your Heart, You Will Understand

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Danny Messi

31th May
i was preparing to go out to catch movies with my mom, stepdad and sis... when i received a disturbing status update on FaceBook.

"Danny had an accident. He's in a coma and his conditions is critical"

i was shocked... if this is a joke, its not funny! but it wasnt. i asked alot of friends.

what happened?
where is he?
how is he?
i wanna see him... NOW!!

i tried to keep a straight mind, but i ended up aimless. dumbfounded. lost of words. i held up my tears in. its not over.

i called up my mom to cancel the movie, and i called up my friends, asking almost evrything and if they could go with me, since im having transport problems myself. but it seems, i had to delay my wish. i promised myself to visit him tomorrow. FOR SURE!!

later that evening, after i got home from the movies, i received another msg.

"Danny's brain is no longer functioning. to any of his friends who are able to visit, please come visit him for the last time."

shocked and heartbroken. i refused to acknowledge the fact, and i believe in Allah's miracles. even after i read about brain death, i know, there must be hope! Danny has always been a strong guy.

1st June
im not being dramatic here, but these was what i was feeling... truly...

i woke up early today (knowing a friend is struggling for life, i couldnt sleep that well), and prepared to go to the hospital. i took a taxi to KL Central to meet up with Nadia Hanie, so we could go together. We took the KTM together, talking how shocked we were and stuff.

as soon as we arrived at Serdang station, while waiting for Syakir to pick us up to the hospital, i'v already felt this nervousness and fear in me. alot of questions went thru my head.

how is doing?
what if we lose him?
his brains is damaged, how is he feeling?
pain? sorrow? 
will he remember things?
where is he, spiritually?
what if i were to be in his place?
who shud i fight it? struggle?
and many many more....

when Syakir with Kertu arrived, all these Questions kept repeating in my head, until it worn me out... i fell asleep until we arrived to the hospital.

we meet Leo and Hannan on our way in, and we asked about HaziQ. That was when i knew what happened.

"Danny stayed with HaziQ at HaziQ's parents' house in Gombak, due to a job they took together. On the way to their working place, HaziQ, who was driving (?) the motorcycle, with Danny as the passenger at the back, HaziQ lost control and they fell.

HaziQ had minor scratches, but Danny... He didnt buckle his helmet. The helmet went off from his head as Danny's head hit the ground, hard, giving him internal bleeding."

oh gosh, it maybe Danny's fate, but knowing HaziQ, whom is always caring and soft, will blame on himself forever. And Danny is his BFF. HaziQ is a very careful and detailed man. its totally not your fault!

wanting to meet HaziQ but he wasnt around. he didnt sleep since yesterday, watching Danny.

Syakir, Anan and Kertu escorted Nadia and i to see Danny. Evry step close to the ward, i became more nervous and scared. i imagine what to expect and almost cried.

as i assumed we were getting closer to the ward, i saw a group of people surrounding a bed, some were whispering, some were crying. The guys went into the group and pointed at the bed.

"what, all these group is here for Danny? oh god... this CANT be the end!!"

i heard sniffling, whispering and the Kursi. in the midst of people there, slowly, i saw him. it was worse than what i imagine. his face was swollen and his body was inserted with tubes and needles, he's breathing with the help of a machine.

I tried to deny. that is not Danny! Danny always smiling and kid around. Nadia held up my arm and cried. i couldnt help myself either. i just cried. i didnt care when the guys saw me crying. i just let go. a family member of the animation family that i love most.. is struggling for life...

one of his aunt (i assume) told me,
" speak to him, he can here and understand you.. tell him your name and speak.."

i did... i didnt wanna miss any chances... i spoke to him, telling him to be strong and hv faith. i read the shahadah for him... and look at his face.. i want to remember it....

i turned to his mother, told her that i was her friend. She hugged me tight, telling me to my ears,
" forgive his sins, give halal to all the food and drinks he may owe you"

i could hold up... so, i let go... sobbing away in her arms...
"he has no sins towards me, he was a good friend..."

"i know he is, and he's a good son too... forgive him. Thank you so much for coming."

i hv only met her once in my life, but i could felt the sadness in her voice, her arms...
Danny was her eldest son. a mother's feeling of losing her child, nobody can feel it, except for a mother.

afterwards, we went home... i went out with my mom n iQin again, coz i promised to go out together...

later at night, i received an FB status,
" Danny is no longer with us. Please pray for his peace."

being so shocked, i almost break down again... i thought deep... but wasnt sure what to think...

But, later... i had another FB status.
"The news of Danny passed away was false. Danny is still alive because his heart is still beating."

what a relief... right now, im still waiting for news... i hope and wish it would be a good one.

Ya Allah, please give us your miracle, save Danny, for he is important to us... Amin...

p.s: right now, i do wish its a joke... i might hit who ever's idea... but atleast... its a joke... 

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