I'm still dazed

Despite the old age I'm coming to,
I still can't really say that I've matured along with my age.

I still act repulsively.
I still am not sophisticated.
and not to mention, still am very playful.

And there are worse times, when i have to admit,
that I'm not sure i'm womanly at all.
I'm lack of sensitivity and just plain ignorant.

While some girls would watch love movies with emotions,
I'd rather watch my cartoons and Anime.
Yes, I watch dramas as well..
but only selective ones, like Rom Com (Romance Comedy) or Anime.

I should have attended that grooming school for girls my mom suggested.
(but it was too much of a hassle at that time.)
I still lack of that delicate feel.

But then again, i must have some strong points, somewhere, right?

URGH!! This frustrates me even more!!
Just let me try being...  womanly sometimes..
HAHAHA!! I'm sure it'll shock everybody!!

p.s: and here i am ranting about my selfish self again, when knowingly it's noon and I haven't slept a wink last night! Well, just have to stay awake for the rest of the day now~ goshh~

Those sweet simple things I love (top 10)

#1

somebody playing with my hair till i sleep

#2

long slow drive in rural area with the window down

#3

holding hands

#4

long snuggly hugs

#5

little children's stories

#6

sharing good food

#7

staring at people i love 

(even though, they're uncomfortable with it)

#8

cheeky kisses!

#9

screaming my favourite song together

#10

laying down, sharing the sound of the rain, silently

[MTV] Hazama - Penglipur Lara

One of few Malay songs with passion.

Isnt about love. But life..

awesome work.

truly inspiring. :)

Vivian Maier slideshow in HD

I was watching Vivian Maier photos, looking up the pictures of people, old and young.

It got me to think.

'How will i be in the future?'

When thinking that, what I did in my past life as a child, how will i be in the future,

it sort of giving me the chills.

I just don't know how to say this actually, but the fact that,

this chilling sensation im feeling, it's telling me,

'If somebody were to found pictures of me, how would they portray me? Can they know how I was through the image of my eye? Will they be able to tell my past? My emotions of aging? Of life?'

Because, that's how I feel exactly for this people in the photos.

Vivian did a wonderful job portraying these people. As if, they are still around. She definitely stopped time.

I'm not sure if i convey this emotions in me correctly here, but I'm sure I did, atleast 30% of it here now.

Hijabster

I used it when I was in High School but took it off when i was 17.

That was my highest rebellious point during my teen years. LoL

And now that I'm Taufik Hidayat's fiancee,

I'm practicing to make a change in myself,

starting with Hijab.

Pray for my weak heart and iman to be strong.

Help me maintain this way of Allah.

Slowly, I want to change for the better!

I might start small, and may be with my old ways again.

But, I will stay strong and independent!

Amin. :)

Selfie Me

I just like these pictures of me very much!

credits to Amad. :)

My Eday was PINK?

Yes... It's pink.

For people who know me from long before,

they might be surprised at this. Why?

Because I used to hate pink.

But, thinking that, i want my eday to be sweet looking and cheerful,

That's the color alright. Since I'm not a kid anymore, so I don't hate it (much).

naive, soft, sweet and subtle

everything that's not really me. LoL!

But, it's an Eday. So yeah, granted!

Turns out, the color came out just nice and i love it!

It gave me the feel that i wanted, just in the right amount!

Not so bad at making decisions huh?

And his side?

BLUE!

He said pink won't go well with blue.

pffttt~ really?

Turns out fine to me.

So, at a cliche end..

Pink Woman, Blue Man

nice.. :)