As a teenager, i wasnt the brightest fun loving being in the world. But i was (and probably still am) always up to no good. Harmless no good it is. I've always loved how annoyed and confused people can be through their expression.
So one fine evening my mom signed me up to a tuition class and obviously, their kids from other schools there. Being the timid me, i made very few conversation with them. It is, afterall, my first week there. Then came this white sheet of paper came to me after being passed around. There's the name, IC number and phone number of the whole class there. We were reQuired to fill em every class.
Eventually, i knew few girls from the class and also had a few crushes on the boys (urgh, typical teenager, right?), but i just ignored em, until one of em were kind enough to speak with me, as he was one of the girls' schoolmate. We got along and stuff, until i got this sneaky idea.
That attendance paper? with names and ICs and stuff? yeah, i copied down all of their number after getting to know em. I dunno why, i just had the urge to prank call all of the boys, especially the annoying noisy ones.
I called em and pretended to be their long lost indonesian cousin, someone whom they own money to (ceti haram), sexy seductive schoolmate and other craps i could think off, and the stories they told to their friends in class were just too funny! They were annoyed and angry, and the more they were disturbed, the more i cant help bugging them.
Until the nice guy caught me in the act (actually while me prank calling him).
no more prank calls for me now... LOL...
p.s: I feel like i wanna try again more, but people report everything these days. Pulled the fun out of it.. pftt~
p.s.s: besides, nobody uses landlines anymore~
Monday, November 10, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
But when I do...
When i wake up,
I hate getting out of bed.
But when i do,
I hate getting in the shower.
But when i do,
I hate getting out of the shower.
But when i do,
I hate getting dress.
But when i do,
I hate putting on make up.
But when i do,
I hate going out.
But when i do,
I hate going home.
But when i do,
I hate washing off my make up.
But when i do,
I hate changing in my nighties.
And when i do,
I love my bed.
Monday, October 20, 2014
#iwanttotouchadog
As straight forward as it seems, this particular event I went is to overcome the fear and boundaries in me (and possibly, others) of dogs.
From a young age, never in my life (or as far as i recall) am taught that dogs are HARAM or forbidden. Even in my PAFA class, dogs are part of Najis (stool) which is obvious, can be cleanse, whereas Harams, can't and results as a sin. To my opinion, we are more or less, were told (and not taught) that dogs are dirty and should be away from. But, we also forgot that dogs too are Allah's creation and a living creature with feelings and emotions. We forgot that in Islam, is all about toleration and peace making. I'm not implying that we should ALL caress and give kisses to them, but instead, we should accept their existence and respect it.
Today, this event is held to truly understand the nature of dogs and also other religions. Not only we learn to face our fear towards dogs and crash down that wall of boundary, but to also show that Islam is a religion of peace and understanding. We can bond and love. We care for others too. And even if things as accidentally made contact with a dog (or a pig), they to can understand how to help or restrain. We live in a country of many different races and religions. It's only fair for us to understand each other. Thankfully, the event today was a success. Everybody seems to enjoy learning and tolerating. Truly heartwarming. Sure, there a few disses of disagreements and judgement, but meh, everybody's a keyboard master. Just know, my (and surely everybody else's) conscious is clear and In syaa Allah, I'm doing this, ikhlas for the sake of learning and peace making.
Syabas to all of the #iwanttotouchadog event crew and facilitators for providing us such eventful and educating experience. Syabas to Syed Azmi for being the leader. Come on guys, beristinjak pun belajar agama ape? LoL..
And lastly, HATERS GONNA HATE and KEYBOARD MASTERS GOTTA JAM!!
From a young age, never in my life (or as far as i recall) am taught that dogs are HARAM or forbidden. Even in my PAFA class, dogs are part of Najis (stool) which is obvious, can be cleanse, whereas Harams, can't and results as a sin. To my opinion, we are more or less, were told (and not taught) that dogs are dirty and should be away from. But, we also forgot that dogs too are Allah's creation and a living creature with feelings and emotions. We forgot that in Islam, is all about toleration and peace making. I'm not implying that we should ALL caress and give kisses to them, but instead, we should accept their existence and respect it.
Today, this event is held to truly understand the nature of dogs and also other religions. Not only we learn to face our fear towards dogs and crash down that wall of boundary, but to also show that Islam is a religion of peace and understanding. We can bond and love. We care for others too. And even if things as accidentally made contact with a dog (or a pig), they to can understand how to help or restrain. We live in a country of many different races and religions. It's only fair for us to understand each other. Thankfully, the event today was a success. Everybody seems to enjoy learning and tolerating. Truly heartwarming. Sure, there a few disses of disagreements and judgement, but meh, everybody's a keyboard master. Just know, my (and surely everybody else's) conscious is clear and In syaa Allah, I'm doing this, ikhlas for the sake of learning and peace making.
Syabas to all of the #iwanttotouchadog event crew and facilitators for providing us such eventful and educating experience. Syabas to Syed Azmi for being the leader. Come on guys, beristinjak pun belajar agama ape? LoL..
And lastly, HATERS GONNA HATE and KEYBOARD MASTERS GOTTA JAM!!
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Pemimpi vol.2 (video)
“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.”
-Helen Keller
Pemimpi vol 2.2 (video)
Happiness should be like an oasis, the greener for the desert that surrounds it.
-Rachel Field
Pemimpi vol. 3 (Video)
“We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.”
-William James
Monday, September 29, 2014
months before~
Just a few months before I'm going to be handed to my significant other.
Within these few months before,
I've seen some changes in our relationship. Everything turns serious but fun. We are more mature and decisive of our future. We thought of home, furniture, stable jobs, kids, clothes. We thought more of the future settlements of educations, schools, medical, travels. Its never too late or too early to plan.
Within these few months before,
I've already felt the wedding pressure. What colour? What theme? Which venue? What gift? Who to invite? It was fun and games at first, until it really involves money and amount of invitations. The jitters are real!
Within these few months before,
Upon receiving wedding invitations from other, it's no longer when is my turn. It's, "lets go and ask how they manage a wedding". The answers are always different but nerve wrecking all the same. I cringe as i watch videos or blogs of failing weddings and being ridiculed of. How humanity is lost, when you are invited to bless the wedding, yet you complained of how bad the food was. You came for free, so shut up. People are so judgmental.
Within these few months before,
All I thought of is how to save more money, to gain more money. Alas, i'm so wasteful. I just got a proper job, hopefully. I just need to save. Not only for the wedding, but for our future. I need to be more considerate of my S/O. Nothing comes easy and goes free. Just to dot it, I'm bad at counting and too sympathetic, thus I have not much confidence in business. I'd love to do one though.
It may be months before, but in time, it'll turn days in a jiffy~ brr...
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Pemimpi 3.0
It was on a subtle rainy day, we convoy with each other, heading to Bota, Perak, for a friend's wedding. Excited enough from being together again after a long time, we had bigger plans ahead.
On our way, we passed Sri Iskandar, where some of our best memories are made, especially for me. This is where i found my love. All the happiness and sadness of the past overwhelms me as we drove by those familiar places. Those places has changed alot. A freaking mall in SI?? We had to go to all the way to Ipoh if we wanted to buy anything, even underwears.. Whatever it is, those bittersweet moments will always remain there..
We've reached Syamil's wedding, decorated in Grey and candies. There were few people around as we were actually late. Thus, the event felt like ours. We had lunch, and greet each other whom came separated from us. We played and cuddle our baby Pemimpi, Fateh, and we went off...
Where? Home? No...
Topet, Eno, Dya, Nana, Wan, PC, Black, Ken, Izzad, Paan, Muaz, Hendrik, Ajim and myself...
... we were ready to spend our epic weekend in Pangkor Island..
The prediction of the weather we had wasn't very good. The forecast told us, it would be rainy and hardly any sun. But it didn't stop us. We stopped at a near gas station after the wedding to gas up, smoke up and us girls? Change up to comfy island clothes.. As soon as we reached Lumut, we had some difficulties of where to park our cars for the day. But that worked out fine.. RM20 per day, per car.
While waiting for 3 of our photographer friends (still taking photos of the newly weds).. Dya and I had some roadside ice-cream which felt very nostalgic to me. At the same time, Topet was caught by a makcik, selling snorkeling tickets to us. She said she'll sell the tickets cheaper to students.. At that point, all of us automatically admits that we were students. Liaarrss... hahaha!! But, we got cheap tickets and 1 free. Worth it! After that, we couldn't wait any longer, so we rode ahead on the ferry to Pangkor!
No matter how many times you've rode a boat, you'll always get excited on one each time. We all headed to the open view part of the ferry and enjoyed the breeze, taking selfies, as usual, using phones and gopro. Some of the boys even got help from some attractive french tourist.. na'ah Paan.. Behave~
As soon as we've reached the island, we halt a van taxi and it drove us all to Pangkor Inn. On the way, the boys were very rowdy, not too weird for them though. They act like that all the time. But it seems very funny in a compact pink van. Haha! The uncle didn't seem to mind at all. Thank goodness.
We've reached the Inn and was a little disappointed at it. The pool and the chalets looked larger in the photo, but it was shallow and small. Meh, sokay, we have the beach. The room felt so nice, but you know, like any other hotels or chalet rooms, all of them feels nice. We all were lead to our designated rooms. There were only 4 of us girls, so we fit 1 room. The boys filled 3 more rooms, 1 beside ours and 2 more a little further. We had our showers and rest, until we all gather for dinner. Dya was already making a list of what she wanted to eat, Lempeng Pisang, Jagung Bakar, Kerang Bakar and Ice Cream Goyang.
Dinner was fancy and wonderful. As usual, if you eat by the sea, you have to get seafood, so we had Ikan Masak Stim, Kerang Bakar, Ikan masak 3 Rasa, Kangkung Belacan and more.. The dinner highlight was went almost everybody ordered ice tea, and all was laughing of how the ice tea became mainstream. Through out, dinner was the bomb!
After dinner, i thought of rushing out to get some Ice Cream Goyang, but it closed by that time. Heart broken. We then, headed to the beach. It was dark and there, I was pointed out, small blue dots of light on the shore. They said it was the Kunang-Kunang Air (water fireflies). Heck, i wasn't sure.. but it was mesmerizing. I even caught one! Moving on, we halted at the far corner of the beach where there's hardly lights and personally, it was scary. But nope, they really insisted on staying there.
So we settled down, getting comfy on the wet sand and rocks. We started to play games. The 1st game we played was Sambung Lagu (continuing songs). In this game, after someone ended their song (anywhere in the song, probably the chorus or the bridge), the next person needed to continue a different song starting with the last word or the sound of the previous song, within 20 to 30 seconds. Any song can do. It was hilarious! At first, we tried solo, but it was too hard, so we paired up. I paired up with Dya, and most of the songs we knew was in English. After a while, with all the hardships and all, believe it or not. Dya and I were the 1st to get punished. HAHA! We were punished to point one finger on the ground and spin around it 10 times, and then high-5 your partner. Simple? NO! It made us dizzy and our coordination were sooo off, i didn't know what i was doing! It was dreadfully funny. And guess who's idea was that? My one and only, beloved fiancee, Topet and the sarcastic Muaz. The daredevils. After us, there were others who were punished the same as us. Too cute! After the game, we decided to play other games like Sambung Berita or ABC.. those were fun too, but not as fun as the 1st one.. We had to stop as the tides are flushing up on us and it was already midnight.
Back to our rooms, we hung out by the balcony, eating Dya's cupcakes and tarts. They were wonderful. We (mostly me though) played some fire sparkles that Dya bought. We chatted away silently in fear that the other inn neighbours might be bothered. It was a Quiet peaceful evening, with the night rain and friends gathered around. When its time to go, Muaz made a point to wake up early at 7.30 to swim. Everybody else was groaning, but believe me, nobody would wake up that early, not even Muaz. LoL..
I woke up the next morning, feeling so cold from the aircon. I stepped outside from the inn, chatting away with Dya, getting warmed up. It was 7.30 in the morning and it was raining, and guess what? Nobody else is awake yet! LoL! After 8, we knocked on Muaz's door, only to be answered by Hendrik. They claimed to have been up since 6am. Pfftt, as if. We got ready and all, and all of us we ready to hit the beach by 9am.
He had light breakfast that morning. Among 14 of us, they only order 5 nasi lemak, and was passed around, forcing each other to finish them. Haha! Then, we get on a boat to an island for snorkeling fun! The water wasn't as clear as Langkawi, that i went before, but going there with friends was worth it. Dya soon dropped her breathing pipe piece of her goggles. She was already panicking, losing the goggles (or a part of it) meaning having to pay RM80. We all search for it in the dusty sea. It was kinda hard to look. I found a piece of something on the ocean floor and i dived to get it before it got away. Instead of finding the pipe piece, i found a whole new set of lost goggle. Haha!! Since that, they called me Anak Laut. Whaa?? haha!! We moved ahead on the other side of the island. The water there was clearer and better, abit. We swam till our hearts contented. I nearly drowned (out of exhaustion) abit. Luckily, Topet grabbed me and saved me. Thanks cayang, my hero. My mouth was filled with water and my nose was cover with the goggle piece. I panicked. So, i tossed away my goggles (i tossed away my life jacket earlier), then i swam better. I swam like a fish. We even had Hendrik "free diving lessons" in the water, where he teaches us how to dive without letting out air. It was hard for me, i didn't succeed.
By noon, we all went back to the Pangkor Beach. My fiancee was too enthusiastic about this Marble water sport, he paid for me as well, without my consent.. Oh well, at least its not the Banana Boat. The Marble only supports 4 people per ride, So i rode with my fiancee, Paan and Black. Paan was responsible for the wrist Go Pro on this ride, so his left arm is occupied. The ride was amazingly extreme, I screamed for life! It was glorious! During the hectic ride, I locked Paan's legs with my legs to avoid him falling off the ride. I myself was tumbling off. In mid break of the ride, Topet took the Go Pro, so I responsible to lock him next, him especially since he's at the corner of the ride. It was wild and wonderful! I spitted out utter rubbish during the ride. Haha! Hendrik, Wan, Muaz and Ajim rode the next ride, and Hendrik and Ajim fell of the ride. Funny as it is, they refuse to admit it. We saw you guys, bro~ hahaa!!
Tired, wet and full of scratches and blood on our arms and feet (grazed them on corals during snorkeling), we showered and got ready to check out. We took our final pictures on the island before heading for the Jetty. On the ferry, many of us fell asleep until we reach the dock. We had lunch at Manjong. Before heading home, we stopped by the leaning tower of Teluk Intan. They wanted to check out the car exhibition nearby there. Our final stop before we all go separate ways was the Sg. Buloh RnR.. We applauded each other for their effort, company and fun. We laugh, swam and smile together. With heavy heart, they puffed they're final ciggy, we hugged our final hugs, and off we go, leaving this wonderful weekend behind us all.
We may have scars and muscle aches, but these are the things that bear in our minds, where we got them and why. Always ended up giggling remembering our weekend with Pemimpi 3.0..
Next stop, Pulau Perhentian 2015?
On our way, we passed Sri Iskandar, where some of our best memories are made, especially for me. This is where i found my love. All the happiness and sadness of the past overwhelms me as we drove by those familiar places. Those places has changed alot. A freaking mall in SI?? We had to go to all the way to Ipoh if we wanted to buy anything, even underwears.. Whatever it is, those bittersweet moments will always remain there..
We've reached Syamil's wedding, decorated in Grey and candies. There were few people around as we were actually late. Thus, the event felt like ours. We had lunch, and greet each other whom came separated from us. We played and cuddle our baby Pemimpi, Fateh, and we went off...
Where? Home? No...
Topet, Eno, Dya, Nana, Wan, PC, Black, Ken, Izzad, Paan, Muaz, Hendrik, Ajim and myself...
... we were ready to spend our epic weekend in Pangkor Island..
The prediction of the weather we had wasn't very good. The forecast told us, it would be rainy and hardly any sun. But it didn't stop us. We stopped at a near gas station after the wedding to gas up, smoke up and us girls? Change up to comfy island clothes.. As soon as we reached Lumut, we had some difficulties of where to park our cars for the day. But that worked out fine.. RM20 per day, per car.
While waiting for 3 of our photographer friends (still taking photos of the newly weds).. Dya and I had some roadside ice-cream which felt very nostalgic to me. At the same time, Topet was caught by a makcik, selling snorkeling tickets to us. She said she'll sell the tickets cheaper to students.. At that point, all of us automatically admits that we were students. Liaarrss... hahaha!! But, we got cheap tickets and 1 free. Worth it! After that, we couldn't wait any longer, so we rode ahead on the ferry to Pangkor!
No matter how many times you've rode a boat, you'll always get excited on one each time. We all headed to the open view part of the ferry and enjoyed the breeze, taking selfies, as usual, using phones and gopro. Some of the boys even got help from some attractive french tourist.. na'ah Paan.. Behave~
As soon as we've reached the island, we halt a van taxi and it drove us all to Pangkor Inn. On the way, the boys were very rowdy, not too weird for them though. They act like that all the time. But it seems very funny in a compact pink van. Haha! The uncle didn't seem to mind at all. Thank goodness.
We've reached the Inn and was a little disappointed at it. The pool and the chalets looked larger in the photo, but it was shallow and small. Meh, sokay, we have the beach. The room felt so nice, but you know, like any other hotels or chalet rooms, all of them feels nice. We all were lead to our designated rooms. There were only 4 of us girls, so we fit 1 room. The boys filled 3 more rooms, 1 beside ours and 2 more a little further. We had our showers and rest, until we all gather for dinner. Dya was already making a list of what she wanted to eat, Lempeng Pisang, Jagung Bakar, Kerang Bakar and Ice Cream Goyang.
Dinner was fancy and wonderful. As usual, if you eat by the sea, you have to get seafood, so we had Ikan Masak Stim, Kerang Bakar, Ikan masak 3 Rasa, Kangkung Belacan and more.. The dinner highlight was went almost everybody ordered ice tea, and all was laughing of how the ice tea became mainstream. Through out, dinner was the bomb!
After dinner, i thought of rushing out to get some Ice Cream Goyang, but it closed by that time. Heart broken. We then, headed to the beach. It was dark and there, I was pointed out, small blue dots of light on the shore. They said it was the Kunang-Kunang Air (water fireflies). Heck, i wasn't sure.. but it was mesmerizing. I even caught one! Moving on, we halted at the far corner of the beach where there's hardly lights and personally, it was scary. But nope, they really insisted on staying there.
So we settled down, getting comfy on the wet sand and rocks. We started to play games. The 1st game we played was Sambung Lagu (continuing songs). In this game, after someone ended their song (anywhere in the song, probably the chorus or the bridge), the next person needed to continue a different song starting with the last word or the sound of the previous song, within 20 to 30 seconds. Any song can do. It was hilarious! At first, we tried solo, but it was too hard, so we paired up. I paired up with Dya, and most of the songs we knew was in English. After a while, with all the hardships and all, believe it or not. Dya and I were the 1st to get punished. HAHA! We were punished to point one finger on the ground and spin around it 10 times, and then high-5 your partner. Simple? NO! It made us dizzy and our coordination were sooo off, i didn't know what i was doing! It was dreadfully funny. And guess who's idea was that? My one and only, beloved fiancee, Topet and the sarcastic Muaz. The daredevils. After us, there were others who were punished the same as us. Too cute! After the game, we decided to play other games like Sambung Berita or ABC.. those were fun too, but not as fun as the 1st one.. We had to stop as the tides are flushing up on us and it was already midnight.
Back to our rooms, we hung out by the balcony, eating Dya's cupcakes and tarts. They were wonderful. We (mostly me though) played some fire sparkles that Dya bought. We chatted away silently in fear that the other inn neighbours might be bothered. It was a Quiet peaceful evening, with the night rain and friends gathered around. When its time to go, Muaz made a point to wake up early at 7.30 to swim. Everybody else was groaning, but believe me, nobody would wake up that early, not even Muaz. LoL..
I woke up the next morning, feeling so cold from the aircon. I stepped outside from the inn, chatting away with Dya, getting warmed up. It was 7.30 in the morning and it was raining, and guess what? Nobody else is awake yet! LoL! After 8, we knocked on Muaz's door, only to be answered by Hendrik. They claimed to have been up since 6am. Pfftt, as if. We got ready and all, and all of us we ready to hit the beach by 9am.
He had light breakfast that morning. Among 14 of us, they only order 5 nasi lemak, and was passed around, forcing each other to finish them. Haha! Then, we get on a boat to an island for snorkeling fun! The water wasn't as clear as Langkawi, that i went before, but going there with friends was worth it. Dya soon dropped her breathing pipe piece of her goggles. She was already panicking, losing the goggles (or a part of it) meaning having to pay RM80. We all search for it in the dusty sea. It was kinda hard to look. I found a piece of something on the ocean floor and i dived to get it before it got away. Instead of finding the pipe piece, i found a whole new set of lost goggle. Haha!! Since that, they called me Anak Laut. Whaa?? haha!! We moved ahead on the other side of the island. The water there was clearer and better, abit. We swam till our hearts contented. I nearly drowned (out of exhaustion) abit. Luckily, Topet grabbed me and saved me. Thanks cayang, my hero. My mouth was filled with water and my nose was cover with the goggle piece. I panicked. So, i tossed away my goggles (i tossed away my life jacket earlier), then i swam better. I swam like a fish. We even had Hendrik "free diving lessons" in the water, where he teaches us how to dive without letting out air. It was hard for me, i didn't succeed.
By noon, we all went back to the Pangkor Beach. My fiancee was too enthusiastic about this Marble water sport, he paid for me as well, without my consent.. Oh well, at least its not the Banana Boat. The Marble only supports 4 people per ride, So i rode with my fiancee, Paan and Black. Paan was responsible for the wrist Go Pro on this ride, so his left arm is occupied. The ride was amazingly extreme, I screamed for life! It was glorious! During the hectic ride, I locked Paan's legs with my legs to avoid him falling off the ride. I myself was tumbling off. In mid break of the ride, Topet took the Go Pro, so I responsible to lock him next, him especially since he's at the corner of the ride. It was wild and wonderful! I spitted out utter rubbish during the ride. Haha! Hendrik, Wan, Muaz and Ajim rode the next ride, and Hendrik and Ajim fell of the ride. Funny as it is, they refuse to admit it. We saw you guys, bro~ hahaa!!
Tired, wet and full of scratches and blood on our arms and feet (grazed them on corals during snorkeling), we showered and got ready to check out. We took our final pictures on the island before heading for the Jetty. On the ferry, many of us fell asleep until we reach the dock. We had lunch at Manjong. Before heading home, we stopped by the leaning tower of Teluk Intan. They wanted to check out the car exhibition nearby there. Our final stop before we all go separate ways was the Sg. Buloh RnR.. We applauded each other for their effort, company and fun. We laugh, swam and smile together. With heavy heart, they puffed they're final ciggy, we hugged our final hugs, and off we go, leaving this wonderful weekend behind us all.
We may have scars and muscle aches, but these are the things that bear in our minds, where we got them and why. Always ended up giggling remembering our weekend with Pemimpi 3.0..
Next stop, Pulau Perhentian 2015?
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Eyebrows
These furry bushes above my eyes.
Some say that i am blessed with thick eyebrows. Not denying them but, the real problem for me is, maintaining them.. and by that, i mean,
THREADING!!
these bushy brows can sometimes be so damn annoying, making me look like an untamed female tarzan.. with an almost uni brow.. not that it matters, but it matters... >.> Threading is a very painful process of grooming, for me at least. Never fail to cry even after a dozen times under the thread. Waxing? I'm good with that, occasionally, but threading.. just urghh~ But these brows just need to be kept.. some warned me that my brows might not grow anymore if i thread them, but no.. they just keep coming like tsunami a week after..
clearly, i'm not complaining about my bushy brows. I love them. It's a blessed feature on my face. Its just.. the threading.. >.> for those who hasn't been, you have no idea! but then, beauty is pain.. to groom is to bloom.. and whatever... or maybe i'm just exaggerating, or, i'm not immune to pain.. or i'm just a sissy~ whatever~
p.s: to thread a thick brow is more painful that those fine hairs. I haven't gone for months. making my brow grew thick again. It's gonna hurt so bad for my next session.. >.>
p.s.s: for grooming!! for love!!!
p.s.s.s: things i do for love...
Some say that i am blessed with thick eyebrows. Not denying them but, the real problem for me is, maintaining them.. and by that, i mean,
THREADING!!
these bushy brows can sometimes be so damn annoying, making me look like an untamed female tarzan.. with an almost uni brow.. not that it matters, but it matters... >.> Threading is a very painful process of grooming, for me at least. Never fail to cry even after a dozen times under the thread. Waxing? I'm good with that, occasionally, but threading.. just urghh~ But these brows just need to be kept.. some warned me that my brows might not grow anymore if i thread them, but no.. they just keep coming like tsunami a week after..
clearly, i'm not complaining about my bushy brows. I love them. It's a blessed feature on my face. Its just.. the threading.. >.> for those who hasn't been, you have no idea! but then, beauty is pain.. to groom is to bloom.. and whatever... or maybe i'm just exaggerating, or, i'm not immune to pain.. or i'm just a sissy~ whatever~
p.s: to thread a thick brow is more painful that those fine hairs. I haven't gone for months. making my brow grew thick again. It's gonna hurt so bad for my next session.. >.>
p.s.s: for grooming!! for love!!!
p.s.s.s: things i do for love...
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Sunny No More.. for real...
Few weeks ago, I received a terrible news...
Sunny died.
In shock, i went speechless.. My aunt said, he was diagnosed with pneumonia. But i doubt so. It's just, probably his time to go. He's already 4yo, which is 39 in human year... >.>
I did this. I know i did.. I'm sorry Sunny..
But very thankful to my aunt and her family for treating him much better than i did. He had friends and space.. to run around and play. Thank you Mak Ngah, Pak Ngah, Mira, Adik, Danial, Alia and Adam...
It truly touched me that Alia and Adam cried upon Sunny's death.You guys truly care..
Thank you Sunny. Thank for all those wonderful years you've spent with me.. and i know you deserve better. You were my healer, my comforter, my aid. I had you because i had a broken heart, you've patched it up and now, its better because of you. I love you, my Sunny boy. You've been a good boy. You will be missed.
p.s: dan-dan la lagu Mariah Carey 'Hero' kuar~ adoii~...
Sunny died.
In shock, i went speechless.. My aunt said, he was diagnosed with pneumonia. But i doubt so. It's just, probably his time to go. He's already 4yo, which is 39 in human year... >.>
I did this. I know i did.. I'm sorry Sunny..
But very thankful to my aunt and her family for treating him much better than i did. He had friends and space.. to run around and play. Thank you Mak Ngah, Pak Ngah, Mira, Adik, Danial, Alia and Adam...
It truly touched me that Alia and Adam cried upon Sunny's death.You guys truly care..
Thank you Sunny. Thank for all those wonderful years you've spent with me.. and i know you deserve better. You were my healer, my comforter, my aid. I had you because i had a broken heart, you've patched it up and now, its better because of you. I love you, my Sunny boy. You've been a good boy. You will be missed.
p.s: dan-dan la lagu Mariah Carey 'Hero' kuar~ adoii~...
Monday, August 18, 2014
Hijrah of The Heart
I really want to change. In life, love and faith. I do. No buts. I wish to become close to my maker and by that, I'm ready to make a change. I wouldn't say that it's a risk, because changing for the better is always a life guarantee reward. I'm no good girl myself. In fact, I've done many things against my religion. Expressively and secretively. But when I thought of the punishments i could get from hereafter, i trembled and cried, for how I've sinned so bad.
I'm lucky, that little by little, my friends and family exposed to me the world of the Hijrah-ians.. I wish to be guided. I wish to follow. I wish to be sincere about life. I want my future life, family and everything I do to be a blessing. To have peace and serenity.
As told by my friend, the more sincere we are to change, the more tests we are to be put. Not to make us give up on it, but to strengthen the soul, the heart. For Allah will never burden His followers, knowing he can't make it. If I am tested in such ways, I should be honored that Allah believed that I am able to handle the situation. I should be strong about it, not fret and cry.
I want to change. To be better. In syaa Allah...
I'm lucky, that little by little, my friends and family exposed to me the world of the Hijrah-ians.. I wish to be guided. I wish to follow. I wish to be sincere about life. I want my future life, family and everything I do to be a blessing. To have peace and serenity.
As told by my friend, the more sincere we are to change, the more tests we are to be put. Not to make us give up on it, but to strengthen the soul, the heart. For Allah will never burden His followers, knowing he can't make it. If I am tested in such ways, I should be honored that Allah believed that I am able to handle the situation. I should be strong about it, not fret and cry.
I want to change. To be better. In syaa Allah...
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Sunny Ma Bunny No More~
Because of my tight schedule for work and personal playtime, I neglected my rebound love many times.. Im so sorry love...
Now, he's not with us anymore.....
CHILL!! He's not dead yet!
My dad took pity of our situation, he gave my bunny to my aunt, thus making her, his new owner. I had to agree. Sunny isn't compatible with a grassless condo life with me. He deserve the sun, grass and a family attention, all which my aunt and her family can provide.
He is now happier his new family, which is the best for him. I miss him though. I heard he got new BFFs, a bunch of cats my aunt took care of. He even got a new name, Totoro (my cousin named him that.)
I know you're just a bunny and will never understand this, but you've been a special emotional aid to me all this while.. You heard my woes, saw my tears and laughter, my affections and everything. I'll miss those moments when we would sit together, side by side, on the darkest nights. You would some times run around and nibble me everywhere. I would snuggle you and you would just sit there, snuffling.. And when you're excited, you would run around so fast, then lay under a tree shade when you're tired. That's the cutest! You would get mad after I smothered my face on you until you got uncomfortable. You would just thump you feet so loud! Haha! Annoyed much? These scars you gave me, will always make me remember you by~
There's so much more... But the best is when you would kiss me all over my hands and chin when you missed me... You are such a puppy sometimes..
I miss you Sunny (now Totoro)
You are truly the sunniest part of my life. Thank you for everything. Will visit you soon ok?
Now, he's not with us anymore.....
CHILL!! He's not dead yet!
My dad took pity of our situation, he gave my bunny to my aunt, thus making her, his new owner. I had to agree. Sunny isn't compatible with a grassless condo life with me. He deserve the sun, grass and a family attention, all which my aunt and her family can provide.
He is now happier his new family, which is the best for him. I miss him though. I heard he got new BFFs, a bunch of cats my aunt took care of. He even got a new name, Totoro (my cousin named him that.)
I know you're just a bunny and will never understand this, but you've been a special emotional aid to me all this while.. You heard my woes, saw my tears and laughter, my affections and everything. I'll miss those moments when we would sit together, side by side, on the darkest nights. You would some times run around and nibble me everywhere. I would snuggle you and you would just sit there, snuffling.. And when you're excited, you would run around so fast, then lay under a tree shade when you're tired. That's the cutest! You would get mad after I smothered my face on you until you got uncomfortable. You would just thump you feet so loud! Haha! Annoyed much? These scars you gave me, will always make me remember you by~
There's so much more... But the best is when you would kiss me all over my hands and chin when you missed me... You are such a puppy sometimes..
I miss you Sunny (now Totoro)
You are truly the sunniest part of my life. Thank you for everything. Will visit you soon ok?
my big baby boy~
Being Trendy? Me?
Honestly, all my life i tried to be trendy, chic and sophisticated.. and without fail... i failed.. Just to make it less butt hurt, i tell the world (and apparently myself as well) that I prefer to be comfortable with whatever I have to wear, when the truth is, I just can't put my finger on where to mix and where to fix..
Every time I see somebody elegant or chic or hipster-ish, i tend to think, "wow, she's looks so cool. I should wear like her." And at the point when I tried, its either uncomfortable or made me looks pretentious (or simply said, stupid.) So basically, it's always back to jeans and tee, with a stupid ponytail behind my back.
Some days, I would Google/Tumblr/Pinterest/Youtube some fashion blogs or vids and tried to mix and match of what i have, and sometimes, my sister's. And some days, I would go begging for some tips (or rather, having her to pick) of what I should wear to what occasions. With that, she could make me look stunningly amazing, but at times, she could go overboard, of which, I appreciate her handy works though. But to and fro, looks could never be top priority on my 'things to be on my top priority list'. I would always (and ALWAYS) have my comfy, lazy dress up days, which maintained to be, everyday. Until the day comes, of when some one ought to be looking gorgeous or some one complained of my dressing. Also especially after i randomly encountered some serious fashion beauties online (especially Tumblr. Curse you tumblr girls.)
I tried. Seriously, I did.. But I always ended up looking lame and I'll feel disgusted with myself, and always having wardrobe malfunction. I guess, that's why they call it a WARdrobe (literal warzone for women.) *punintended*.
Just today, my fiance advised me to buy some clothes to match my recently bought turquoise wristlet, and I told him, its the 'TREND' to hold one item different than others of my outfit. He kind chuckled when I said the word TREND. It made me more embarrassed when he said its weird when I'm the one mentioning it. Thus, making me realized how lame I looked all this while. But also made me realized, all this time, he loves me even when I looked the lamest. Oh well...
But believe me! I will (try) to look as mature possible! Not the old women type, but at least par to my age (group). People mistakenly took me at the wrong age (group) probably because of how I represent myself. Ma'am, I'm way older than 17 or 18 or 22, ma'am.... Not sure if its a compliment, but that weird (almost to disgust) disbelieve look on your face, offends me abit. Clothing probably plays a big role of how you present yourself. I really need to buff up.
Throw away, huge sweat shirts and baggy jeans.. Throw away lame graphic tees and makcik dresses. Mainly the sweaters lah... I know my fiance hates my previous Diploma sweats... lol... Time for blouses, cardis and arbayas... need to spice up some sense of style.. like always... sigh.. wish me luck... >.>
p.s: Pray I'll get a better job/career, so i get some style.. ;p
p.s.s: made me reminisce my Diploma days... T-shirts, overwashed sweaters, 1 tone jeans.. 'selipar jepun'.. no wonder my friends are kinda (kinda) relieved that I changed, abit... ;p
Every time I see somebody elegant or chic or hipster-ish, i tend to think, "wow, she's looks so cool. I should wear like her." And at the point when I tried, its either uncomfortable or made me looks pretentious (or simply said, stupid.) So basically, it's always back to jeans and tee, with a stupid ponytail behind my back.
Some days, I would Google/Tumblr/Pinterest/Youtube some fashion blogs or vids and tried to mix and match of what i have, and sometimes, my sister's. And some days, I would go begging for some tips (or rather, having her to pick) of what I should wear to what occasions. With that, she could make me look stunningly amazing, but at times, she could go overboard, of which, I appreciate her handy works though. But to and fro, looks could never be top priority on my 'things to be on my top priority list'. I would always (and ALWAYS) have my comfy, lazy dress up days, which maintained to be, everyday. Until the day comes, of when some one ought to be looking gorgeous or some one complained of my dressing. Also especially after i randomly encountered some serious fashion beauties online (especially Tumblr. Curse you tumblr girls.)
I tried. Seriously, I did.. But I always ended up looking lame and I'll feel disgusted with myself, and always having wardrobe malfunction. I guess, that's why they call it a WARdrobe (literal warzone for women.) *punintended*.
Just today, my fiance advised me to buy some clothes to match my recently bought turquoise wristlet, and I told him, its the 'TREND' to hold one item different than others of my outfit. He kind chuckled when I said the word TREND. It made me more embarrassed when he said its weird when I'm the one mentioning it. Thus, making me realized how lame I looked all this while. But also made me realized, all this time, he loves me even when I looked the lamest. Oh well...
But believe me! I will (try) to look as mature possible! Not the old women type, but at least par to my age (group). People mistakenly took me at the wrong age (group) probably because of how I represent myself. Ma'am, I'm way older than 17 or 18 or 22, ma'am.... Not sure if its a compliment, but that weird (almost to disgust) disbelieve look on your face, offends me abit. Clothing probably plays a big role of how you present yourself. I really need to buff up.
Throw away, huge sweat shirts and baggy jeans.. Throw away lame graphic tees and makcik dresses. Mainly the sweaters lah... I know my fiance hates my previous Diploma sweats... lol... Time for blouses, cardis and arbayas... need to spice up some sense of style.. like always... sigh.. wish me luck... >.>
p.s: Pray I'll get a better job/career, so i get some style.. ;p
p.s.s: made me reminisce my Diploma days... T-shirts, overwashed sweaters, 1 tone jeans.. 'selipar jepun'.. no wonder my friends are kinda (kinda) relieved that I changed, abit... ;p
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Tribute to Robin Williams
Robin Williams, an actor, comedian and a father figure to me on the big screen.. Im his movies, he's always giving the inspiring words, phrase, smiles and jokes.. seldom the empty ones.. He's brilliant..
This morning, I was shocked about the news of his passing.. Growing up to his movies, the news really took effect on me. I would miss him very much through his movies..
Jumanji
Aladdin
Flubber
Jack...
His smiles are sincere, clear enough to seal this depression in life. I didn't expect him to commit suicide, but then again, I don't know him too well in life anyways.. What I'm trying to say is, he's amazing and I will miss him so, as he will never again appear in the screen for me, for us all.. my condolences to his family and those who loved him..
Monday, June 23, 2014
1st Blood Encounter
I know i'm way passed my baby-teen years to be blogging about this, but, meh~
I remember my 1st day of menstruating and it was the weirdest thing ever! It was at the very end of 2000 and was at my aunt's house. I had to pee, and i noticed this brown stain on my panties. oh damn, but it doesnt look like i've pooped myself... it was weird...
Then comes the advises and praises, like,
then, the dad...
THEN, the agonizing, painful and weirdest feelings i went through.. for the whole half month! Everything was so new, I felt like an alien. And oh gosh! lets not talk about the leakings. Every leak looks like a murder scene and hiding a murder scene isn't always easy. And having something as thick as a notebook between you thigh isn't always comfortable. I get the wedgy all the time and the pad won't stay put. The mood swings are unbearable and the 1st day expectation is always a surprise. you expect it to come today but it has to stain the panties 2 days later when you least expecting it.
so yeah, i was 12, had my 1st time on new years eve and... it is still weird now.
I remember my 1st day of menstruating and it was the weirdest thing ever! It was at the very end of 2000 and was at my aunt's house. I had to pee, and i noticed this brown stain on my panties. oh damn, but it doesnt look like i've pooped myself... it was weird...
Then comes the advises and praises, like,
"oh my god Nurul, you've grown up now! Time to act like a lady"
"you need kotex or whisper. nothing is better than these"
then, the dad...
"you are now a woman. if i catch you having sex or pregnant, i'm going to disown you"
(not kidding, he really said that)
THEN, the agonizing, painful and weirdest feelings i went through.. for the whole half month! Everything was so new, I felt like an alien. And oh gosh! lets not talk about the leakings. Every leak looks like a murder scene and hiding a murder scene isn't always easy. And having something as thick as a notebook between you thigh isn't always comfortable. I get the wedgy all the time and the pad won't stay put. The mood swings are unbearable and the 1st day expectation is always a surprise. you expect it to come today but it has to stain the panties 2 days later when you least expecting it.
so yeah, i was 12, had my 1st time on new years eve and... it is still weird now.
Monday, June 9, 2014
No more counting~
Seriously,
I've lost count of how long we have been together, and I think I should stop anyways. There's no point counting the years, as if there's an end.
I don't wish for us to end.. We are going to be eternal. Lets pray for the best. I'm very confident of us.
In syaa Allah...
I've lost count of how long we have been together, and I think I should stop anyways. There's no point counting the years, as if there's an end.
I don't wish for us to end.. We are going to be eternal. Lets pray for the best. I'm very confident of us.
In syaa Allah...
going to be 3series
Just thinking that, within less than 4 years, i'll be 30...
Oh my GOSH!!
It's true, time waits for no one...
But, me? 30? like this?
no freaking way??
Friday, June 6, 2014
Face Palm Myself In Love
Incident #1
Incident #2
Puteri
You know if you like somebody, you have to tell them.
Topet
Yeah, sure.
Puteri
I like you?
Topet
LoL, in that case, I like you too.
(most innocent / clueless face shown)
Incident #2
Puteri
My man criteria are that he's taller, older, funny and smart,
also would tolerate and pamper me so bad!
Topet
Oh ho! He won't exist. No such man.
Puteri
That's why I won't get married until i'm 27 above.
Topet
In that case, I won't either.
(right here, i wasn't sure why he'd said that, but it was super sweet)
p.s: This was before we're a couple.
Monday, June 2, 2014
Lucky To Have You
After hearing many woes and cries from maiden pals all over, i know now, how lucky i am to have you in my life. I don't think i can stand to know (let alone understanding) any other man than you, who would just tolerate with my awesomely stubborn behavior. You would give me a chance to explain things, with the risk of lying to you, but you hardly (or never) doubt me.
One night, i asked you, have you ever doubt me or our relationship? Would you feel insecure? And you said,
"I am the jealous type, but being with you makes me feel safe."
Such simple words kept me at ease upon knowing how high your level of love and trust towards me. You would never Question my actions or whereabouts and i don't plan to destroy that trust anytime. You gave me just the right amount of space and privacy for us to be comfortable with. Thank you for everything. You are perfect for me.
With Love,
Puteri
Monday, May 26, 2014
What is the most tiring thing ever?
is it:
Exercising?
Working?
Babysitting?
Tutoring?
Studying?
Playing sports?
Hanging out with friends?
nope. nope. nope. nope. nope.
Truly, honestly, sincerely...
it has to be waking up in the morning~
p.s: such a lazy arse~
Exercising?
Working?
Babysitting?
Tutoring?
Studying?
Playing sports?
Hanging out with friends?
nope. nope. nope. nope. nope.
Truly, honestly, sincerely...
it has to be waking up in the morning~
p.s: such a lazy arse~
Friday, May 16, 2014
Teach Me Solah
When I was 9, I moved from my old school SKTTDI (1) to SK Datuk Keramat. To tell you the truth, that school had bad reputation spelled all over it. The kids were noisy, the teachers were lazy, and the place isn't much of an eyeful. I didn't have many friends, and I was constantly bullied (Imagine I was hit with a math textbook. Remember how thick it was?).
Among all that hulla ballo, there's one thing that stuck a post-it note in my memory.
I was young, naive and clueless (more or less, dense) and I had to stay back for something, one day. One way or another, I ended up at the school's surau. There, I saw my school senior (a prefect) with her other bunch of friends. She was one of the seniors who was fierce for no reason and I thought she despised me (she sort of made a lot of points of hating me. I was weak.). I think, I was told or asked to join to pray. So I followed them to take wudhu' (or rather, i copied their ways). I wasn't sure how to pray properly back them, and I was scared to admit it, so I copied how they pray.
Apparently, my copying was too obvious, the fierce senior stopped and turned facing me. To my surprise, she ask,
I shook my head weakly, and she taught how. How kind of her to do so, despite how strict she was.
That's the nicest memory i have in that school, and I shall never forget it, thought I kinda forgot who she was. LoL.
Among all that hulla ballo, there's one thing that stuck a post-it note in my memory.
I was young, naive and clueless (more or less, dense) and I had to stay back for something, one day. One way or another, I ended up at the school's surau. There, I saw my school senior (a prefect) with her other bunch of friends. She was one of the seniors who was fierce for no reason and I thought she despised me (she sort of made a lot of points of hating me. I was weak.). I think, I was told or asked to join to pray. So I followed them to take wudhu' (or rather, i copied their ways). I wasn't sure how to pray properly back them, and I was scared to admit it, so I copied how they pray.
Apparently, my copying was too obvious, the fierce senior stopped and turned facing me. To my surprise, she ask,
" Awak tak tau camne nak sembahyang ke?"
I shook my head weakly, and she taught how. How kind of her to do so, despite how strict she was.
That's the nicest memory i have in that school, and I shall never forget it, thought I kinda forgot who she was. LoL.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Swollen Cheeks??
Back from the dentist, met Ayu on the way... My left cheek was numb and uncomfortable~
*honestly! she's implying that im FAT!!!!!!!! Puffy cheeks?? You really meant CHUBBY CHEEKS!!*
Ayu
Put, you ok?
Puteri
Yeah, just a lil numb. Can't feel half of my face! LoL!
Ayu
Yeah, I can see it's abit swollen there..
Puteri
Really?
Ayu
Yeah.. Your right cheek looks puffier than the other.
Puteri
Right?
* but I'm numb on my left?*
...
Puteri
Ayu... I'm numb on my left..
What are you trying to say??
Ayu
Opss...
*honestly! she's implying that im FAT!!!!!!!! Puffy cheeks?? You really meant CHUBBY CHEEKS!!*
The Orange Incident
Back in the days when my parents were in love...
Probably 1986 or 87? or 89?
At the train station and the train arrived, having a couple of minutes before leaving.
Probably 1986 or 87? or 89?
At the train station and the train arrived, having a couple of minutes before leaving.
Ibu Sri
Think should get something to munch on the train.
Ayah
I can drop at the convenient shop there before the train leave.
What would you like?
Ibu Sri
Probably should get some fruits and drinks.
Ayah
Sure
*walks to the convenient shop*
*came back and my mom can only snicker at what my dad bought.*
Ayah
What?
Ibu Sri
Seriously? You bought oranges (fruit) and orange juice?
Ayah
*derp*
p.s: proof that i happened to inherit my dad's derpiness~
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Why am i tan?
All this time, my whole life, i've Questioned my parents,
My mom is fair. My dad is fair. Almost all of my family members are fair.
so why the heck am i tan?
My mom showed my pictures when she was younger. She was tan, but, she's tan because she was a hockey player in school. She spent too much time in the sun. Of course la burnt.
Now, i know why la...
"Why am I tan?"
My mom is fair. My dad is fair. Almost all of my family members are fair.
so why the heck am i tan?
My mom showed my pictures when she was younger. She was tan, but, she's tan because she was a hockey player in school. She spent too much time in the sun. Of course la burnt.
Now, i know why la...
this MUST be the reason!
just for jokes,
all aside, i don't care anymore.
in this skin, I'M SEXAYHH!!~
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Characters Suave
Something about these two that I adore so much~
They're dorky, cute and gorgeous~
and i dig em~
go go
Emma Stone & Jennifer Lawrence
how not to LOVE em??
LoL
Saturday, May 3, 2014
imperfect man
He may be an imperfect man, but he's my imperfect man.
He's hardly the romantic type, but every time he did something for me (or concerning me),
it means the world to me.
because it's very sincere. :)
Friday, May 2, 2014
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
The Dentist
I'm ok with doctors or dentists... medical checkups.. I'm good...
But what I'm terrified of is.. the SYRINGE!! I hate needles to the max! terrified of it, actually. They poke through your skin and shoot in liQuid that makes your skin feels like bursting.
Today, I had a GRUESOME visit to the dentist due to my horrible tooth decay. Not that I don't brush my teeth well. It's just that, I let the decay be for almost 6 to 7 years to rot in my mouth. So it got worse, eventually, obviously lah.
The dentist was a nice lady, checking my tooth and explaining how severe it was. Basically, it has already deepen till it reached my roots. No wonder it felt deadly. So then, the only way to cure this is to do the Root Canal Procedure, which is a bit costly, but heck, for the sake of my daily meal pleasures, I agree.
I was calm and composed, until the dentist held the SYRINGE! OH GOSH, how I wanted to cry! For heaven sake, she was poking it in my mouth! 2 BOTTLES OF THE ANESTHETICS! The 1st bottle wasn't enough to numb my root, but the 2nd one really takes the cake! My lips felt 2 strikes of this hurtful bursting sensation, and I was numb up to my ear! Half of my mouth was malfunctioning, i couldn't even rinse my mouth without spilling. LOL!
So, she did the drilling and pasting and all, and it was all good. I have another 2 visits to finish up the whole process.
After that, I brought my fiancee for lunch (as promised), and since the anesthetic is still working, I sure had a hard time slurping my noodles. Sigh. I even can't feel when I'm chewing (literally chewing) my lips. I had my fiancee slapping and pinching my numb cheeks and can't feel a thing, for almost 3 to 4 hours. It was hilarious.
p.s: I'm still traumatized with the syringe... :(
p.s.s: Just thinking I have another appointment makes me Quiver...
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Remember me?
Today moves as usual...
I came out from the bank and my dad was going to drove away, until an old lady came waving at us.. i though she was one of my dad's old acQuaintances, so i just smiled. Then she looked at me and said,
"you're Nurul right??"
I was so shocked! I couldn't recognize her at all?
"this is your eldest daughter right? Nurul? Remember me? Cik Eda? I used to be your bus driver when you were still in primary? I helped you carry your bag around." (probably because i was so skinny back then)
As far as i can remember, i did my 1st and 2nd primary grade in TTDI... So, maybe she did. Her eyes were so honestly teary and happy, so i reached out to Salam her. She grabbed my hands, and my face, kissed both my cheeks so caring-ly as if i was her long lost granddaughter. It was so sincere. But sadly..
"i'm sorry. i don't remember. I was too young."
She just laugh away, telling me not to forget her next time. It was short but sweet. A short reunion between us, even though i don't remember her. I felt so bad... :( But to think that someone like me still is remembered by her for almost 19 years, i am truly touched. Thank you.
Too bad, my dad was in a hurry, so i didn't get to get her contacts, or i would love to have tea with her. But surely, we will meet again soon, In syaa Allah.
I came out from the bank and my dad was going to drove away, until an old lady came waving at us.. i though she was one of my dad's old acQuaintances, so i just smiled. Then she looked at me and said,
"you're Nurul right??"
I was so shocked! I couldn't recognize her at all?
"this is your eldest daughter right? Nurul? Remember me? Cik Eda? I used to be your bus driver when you were still in primary? I helped you carry your bag around." (probably because i was so skinny back then)
As far as i can remember, i did my 1st and 2nd primary grade in TTDI... So, maybe she did. Her eyes were so honestly teary and happy, so i reached out to Salam her. She grabbed my hands, and my face, kissed both my cheeks so caring-ly as if i was her long lost granddaughter. It was so sincere. But sadly..
"i'm sorry. i don't remember. I was too young."
She just laugh away, telling me not to forget her next time. It was short but sweet. A short reunion between us, even though i don't remember her. I felt so bad... :( But to think that someone like me still is remembered by her for almost 19 years, i am truly touched. Thank you.
Too bad, my dad was in a hurry, so i didn't get to get her contacts, or i would love to have tea with her. But surely, we will meet again soon, In syaa Allah.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Life Hiccups
in life, there will always be hiccups, where you have to stop doing what ever in order to control your own freak nature show. at least, that was what i did when i have hiccups. the real hiccups.
but life hiccup is different. because of you yourself, you decided to stop for no reason. probably the only reason is laziness or lack of confidence. but by the time you realised it, you're already covered with doubt, misery and guilt.
for me, i'm having a major one. for months, i am unemployed and i still have the will to build a family. i have now nothing on me. i'm feeling useless, stupid and can't seem to do anything right. i'm depressed. even when i try to bring myself back on my feet, there will always that doubt on my back bringing me back down, laying motionless in my room of nothingness.
i'm sucked in. with no more will power to achieve anything. i left my blind ears back for people to scream at. i continuously promises to wake up for my deep wide eyed slumber, yet i can't decide when will that happen. my lips can only say words you want to hear but isn't really from the soul.
whisper. whisper to me. put my feet up against yours and walk for me till i can walk again. i need it. i need that most. no one in this world is really my friend. no one but ALLAH. i must pray. seek forgiveness for the ill deeds i have done. seek refuge from evil doers of the world, be it man or monster.
i seek shelter from you, ya ALLAH. make this sinner clean again, for you are the only one most forgiveful and loving. AMIN.
i am having a life hiccup. a major one, and i think i know why...
Saturday, March 15, 2014
10 years ago~
Lets see... #throwback
10 years ago eyh?
It was 2004, young lady at 16, secondary 4.
I was a happy goody two shoes girl. But nobody actually knew, I had my first heartbreak this year, when I just knew my 1st crush ever is going to move away to MRSM. Somehow, i knew that it was a mere crush and we would eventually move along separately. But I didn't expect it to be that soon. It wasn't a devastating, heart aching, suicidal heartbreak, in fact it was like a 'meh' thing. It was only one side anyway. We weren't even friends. Just someone I look from a far. *anime scene*
I have also lost a close friend of mine. My partner in crime in drawings. Her drawings were incredibly beautiful, and to compared to mine, it was amateur. But she never fail to praise me and to give me awesome spirit for drawing. We would just doodle away together. But her family moved to Perak and we had to say goodbye. Apart from my crush's transfer, my farewell for her was more saddening. We cried and held each other, saying silly things that she'll meet me again in a helicopter and we fly together to Japan.
Anyway, with that guy gone away, I literally wasn't interested to anyone. It should be a lay back year for me. PMR just ended and SPM is not until next year. The seniors called this period 'The Honeymoon Year'. The teachers really should cut us some slack. LoL. I joined as many clubs as I could, excluding the sports clubs. I was (and still am) never the athletic type anyway.
Lets see... I've joined, the Karate-Do club, English Society, and Choir. I stayed back after school almost everyday even when there weren't any club activities. Some of my time I would linger around the school blocks, chatting with anyone. Then I would eventually loiter around the school botanical garden. The gardening club would always welcome me around, and I would voluntarily help with the gardening.
At odd times, I would just stay round the school canteen, chatting away with the canteen workers. Sometimes, they would be generous enough to give me free food or drinks (muka tak malu). I would play round with their son in the canteen with bunch of other juniors.
One fine day, a senior prefect called me. Knowing myself, I was determined to keep my school record as clean as I can, so I thought I've gotten into trouble, but I was actually appointed to be a prefect. Oh well, if that's so, that's it. I was glad tho, I didn't get into any trouble, knowing how mischievous my classmates is. LoL.
Speaking of classmates, after the PMR results, I intended to join in the literature class. I know my strength and I was very sure I want this class. The teachers insisted for me to join the economic class, as it suits with my results, but I declined. I mean, come on. Me? Economics? Numbers?? Nah...
Upon entering the class, I was shocked. Oh hoo.. Now I know why the teachers want me to join other classes. Half of this class is filled with brutal and rather naughty boys. LoL. But after knowing them, no matter how mischievous these troublemakers are, they are very loyal and true. Sure they aren't academical smart, they have ways to show gratitude. Every night, I would tell my sister how my classmates were. She would get so annoyed and eventually ignore me. I mean, how could I not share? They were so comical and sweet at times. One time, one of our classmate had a terrible accident, and half of the class (all of the boys) would skip school to visit. This had gone for a week. Oh! I was also the vice class representative, and my 1st boyfriend was the class representative (coincidence?)
I had my 1st boyfriend in this class, this year. He told me he had admired me from a far since Form 1 (well, oppss.. while I was stalking my crush, he was stalking me). The funny thing is, I knew he was around when we were Form 1, but I literally thought he transferred school or something. I didn't know he was around until we got together in this year's class. Gosh I was so naive and dense! Anyway, he asked if we can be a couple. The problem is, I have never engage this sort of situation and i was dumbfounded. So I said, I'll think about it. For awhile, I sat in a corner, thinking, how does thing 'couple' thing work? I surely read too much of shoujo manga not to understand this, but for it to happen in real life? So, I went back to him and said that I'll give it a try. Not that I have any mutual feelings, but I'll try. There you have it. My 1st couple. But we had a lot to encounter. My lack of emotions and insensitivity always made him upset, and by upset, i meant cry. Gosh I was mean! Then there's the other admirer, which happens to be his own best friend. It was flattering but I was like, 'oh, that make sense. The hair clip, the watch, the cards.'. I just accepts them without any knowledge of whats happening. I just thought he really cares for me as a senior. *face palm*. My 1st relationship didn't last long though. Lasted about 3 months. I just broke it off. There was no mutual feelings and so, I got bored. Him, on the other hand, took it hard and became anti girls for months. Refuse to talk to me, and had this markings on his bag about how he hate girls. But we became friends again eventually, since we need to work together as class representatives.
Students around this age, would eventually select or get selected for a god-brother or sister. Not officially, but just for the sake of company. I, too, had a lot of em. To them, I was the tomboyish baby sister they need to look after, or so they said. So I thought of them as family as well. I don't have an elder brother or sister back home, so I appreciate them more. They would hang out with me at the canteen and accompany me drawing. I would also watch them play basketball in the evening after school.
Around this year too, I had my 1st penpal. We meet on a literal penpal website (i don't remember which site though). I was an internet noob at that time, so we only exchanges emails almost every week. We had similar interest in anime and comics, so we hit off right away. He's from Netherlands and he taught me a lot of things about his culture and country. That was my 1st time knowing someone out of the country other than Singapore. As exciting as it is, he too was excited to meet someone from the asian part of the world.
Those were the days where money, jobs and bills didn't matter. I had a good school life, and I have appreciated it a lot. Never a moment I thought of wanting to grow up fast. I just wanted to stay a school girl as long as I can. To learn to love, make friends, appreciate those little things we thought would last forever. Can say, i was a Blooming 16.. :)
This is my story, 10 years ago. Whats yours?
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Fruits
i like fruits. Especially when they are chilled. I like every type of fruits.
But my favourites are the ones that are crunchy and juicy,like,
watermelons
golden pears
water apples
oh gosh im drooling.. someone get some tissues!
p.s: ok.. this is childish and random.. gosh~ ;p
I NEED THAT PS4 NOW!!
I made a promise to my fiancee to buy a ps4 to be part of our hantaran.
I really dont mind if he wanna hogs it up later on..
NOT UNTIL I'V FOUND OUT THIS NEWS!!!
)
OH GOSHH!! IMMA HOG THAT THANG FOSHOOO!!!!
thats it!! 2 consoles please!!! when this game comes out, hell yaww its ma birthday!!!
AND DONT CALL ME TO WASH DISHES WHEN IM GAMING!!
oh my god.. the feels.. this nostalgic feels... im crying~ its so beautiful...
Tetsuya Nomura, you've teased us for years, but its worth the wait...
p.s: i need to replay everything now..
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
#pray4MH370
It has been 4 days since the disappearance of Malaysian flight MH370. No news since they vanished from the radar. Families, friends, colleagues. All worried for those on board. People makes many speculations, assumptions, controversies and accusations, but none of that can solve the mystery. Lets just pray (sincerely) for the return or discovery of the plane. We do not know what actually happened, but we can pray for our officers to find them soon, to report that they have found them.
How guilty i felt when, on the day this tragedy occurred, i was helping out at a Dinner event for BSN in Sama-Sama Hotel, which where the 1st press conference held. It is also where family members of the victims are suppose to gather. One man, pushing an elderly woman who seems to be hiding her tears, asked us where's the location of the gathering. Not knowing where, i told them to ask the hotel staffs. They went away with heavy heart. It almost brought me down to tears. While the event was ongoing for the night, families and travelers cross our way in a hurry. I just watched them pass by silently.
Recently, I have this strange dream. Probably just a dream. I don't really believe in interpreted dreams, as it can be syirik. But in this dream, the plane is still flying, but doesn't have a destination. The passengers and crews are all asleep, including the pilot and his co-pilot. Sleeping and flying is the sky of orange, white and blue. No injuries or harm, just asleep.
#pray4mh370
How guilty i felt when, on the day this tragedy occurred, i was helping out at a Dinner event for BSN in Sama-Sama Hotel, which where the 1st press conference held. It is also where family members of the victims are suppose to gather. One man, pushing an elderly woman who seems to be hiding her tears, asked us where's the location of the gathering. Not knowing where, i told them to ask the hotel staffs. They went away with heavy heart. It almost brought me down to tears. While the event was ongoing for the night, families and travelers cross our way in a hurry. I just watched them pass by silently.
Recently, I have this strange dream. Probably just a dream. I don't really believe in interpreted dreams, as it can be syirik. But in this dream, the plane is still flying, but doesn't have a destination. The passengers and crews are all asleep, including the pilot and his co-pilot. Sleeping and flying is the sky of orange, white and blue. No injuries or harm, just asleep.
#pray4mh370
Monday, March 10, 2014
Overpopulating Humans
Lets face it. The biggest problem the world is facing isn't climax changes or insufficient grounds. Its human population. From the earliest time of human records to 2011, it has been only up to 1.3 billion human being recorded. But from there on wards to the latest record on 2013, it has reached up to 7 billion! I'm shocked! We grow selfishly rapid and is eating up our own space.
I remember an advised i received not long ago (i'm not sure from who, really). We were happily discussing about my future wedding and marriage plans. I told her i prefer 2 or at least, not more than 3, because future education and living expenses must be expensive. She strongly advised not to do such planning as it is up to God of giving us how many children, and something about sex life (how in Islam, its taboo for the hubby to ejaculated else where).
To my opinion, that is selfish and somewhat cruel. First of all, i have never heard such thing (about this sex thingy)! 2nd, Allah gave us brains to think for ourselves and to be independent. He will not assist if we don't work for it hard. Lastly, without family planning, you are just being cruel to the society and to your own family. Yes, Rezki comes from each of our children. But it doesn't mean that literally.You still have to work for it, and in syaa allah, it will come to you in a shape of gratitude. At the economic and politic rate we're are going, nothing will come cheap in the future, and surely, i don't want any of my future children to feel too much hardship because of our selfishness. A dinner for 5 is much more hefty to feed than a dinner for 10. Children of three is much more easier to keep track than 7 or 8. This goes to bonding wise as well. I surely want to nurture them and watch them grow up well than to feel like managing a boarding school. I've always believed that Quality wins over Quantity.
Yes! Family planning is very important and needed. Some people are used to big families, but, just a lil bit of family planning won't hurt. Too many children means some of them will be left unattended. Unattended children will feel unwanted, and usually, where do unwanted children go? To the abyss of curiosity and dark future. Unsafe sexs, crimes, abortions... It's sad.
All over the world, there are men, happily marrying multiple amount of women. Some have 4 (in Islam, polygamy is allowed and is encouraged if able) and some have more (probably the mormons). I have nothing against this, because i know its allowed if follows the rules of polygamy. But what i'm worried about is the uncontrollably amount of children they are producing. Some, each woman produced up to 12 children and some are able to reach to 20+. What saddens me is, most of the family here are on the brink of poverty. They hardly have space to sleep, enough food to eat and money for school. Is this fair? They may reach world records for production, but what comes afterwards?
Some say that it is important to produce as many Muslims possible, to uphold the religion. But even our prophet mentioned,
"Even when you increase in the public. But your conditions are like bubbles in the ocean. And Allah will take the fear of you from (the hearts of) the enemies and will be overtaken (a disease of) al-Wahn in your hearts. "
Bubbles, we are like bubbles, who are being washed away be our enemies. We may produce Muslim children rapidly, but judging from our society outcome, will we able to teach them to be a proper Muslim? Are we a proper Muslim ourselves? Do you think you will have time to teach 7 children when you yourself is still confuse about how to pray the right order (i know i am)? I believe (STRONGLY) that a good quality and educated Muslim is much needed now than ever, rather than unattended children, that you'll probably ended up beating for unwanted pregnancy and 'bringing' shame to the family.
You guys probably will be going like, 'hye Puteri, you're not married or have any children, so don't be such a smart ass'. Well, guys, i probably am right now. I'm just saying on behalf of human population, unattended children and religious statements of this matter. Children (or up to teenagers) may do or cause accidents because of curiosity and adrenaline (youth). But, look at it this way. Managing 3 is much more easier than 7. Why? Because every children have their needs. And sometimes, we overlook things. Which can cause many things.
And how do you think this rapid growth effect on our surroundings? This means we will take more space, more earth sources. Which leads to chopping out forests and woods, digging the earth soil everywhere. Then, what about the wildlife animals? What about the unsteady grounds we dug so much? What about the air we breathe? The water we drink? Are we going to rely on artificial food and products after everything is gone?What about poverty? With this many people, is there enough jobs for everybody? Will some of us escape it?
Back to human population. Its all about planning. Yes, we may not know what will happen in the future. Allah works in a mysterious way. But in the end, in syaa allah, it ends with a blessing. Amin.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
War isn't Hell
War is War
and
Hell is Hell
War isn't Hell
and
Hell isn't War
Hell is for sinners,
who deserved to be punished,
decided by God.
War includes innocent bystanders
whom are sometimes clueless of what's happening.
Children, Families, Friends, Animals.
Wars determined by power hungry politicians and dictators.
In War
There are innocent bystanders.
Not in Hell.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
conditions
There are few articles about choosing or evaluating your significant other:
# 20 Qualities He/She Should Have
# 10 Signs He/She Is Not Right For You
# 20 Relationships That Not Worth It
#5 Signs He/She is The One...
#bla bla bla..
I don't think its fair for many.. Evaluating and judging a person that you love is just so wrong. If you love him/her, its love. Whether he's a bad egg or a slutty bitch, if you feel love, then that your problem. You cant commit a relationship, hoping to change a person. You know what? Heck if that person loves you as much as you do, he'll/she'll do the best to treat the relationship better, and no one has the right to say that him/her is not right for you. Just putting up standards for a 'proper relationship' is just too cruel. Some people may not have all the Qualities in the list checked, but they still have every right to love.
Don't tell our SO to change because someone else said so (unless you're in an abusive relationship, by all means, dump him/her before he/she kills you). No love is perfect in this world. Just uniQue. UniQue and different, and always wonderful. Appreciate what you have or else the counterfeits will come for you. Forever artificial, lonely and unsatisfied.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Yes, Im human too...
This early morning, I've read an online article about how 3 girls of the same religion approached each other.
I personally considered myself as a stone heart-ed woman. I hardly care what others thought about me, and seldom take notice of those minor selfish happenings around me. But when i read this article, it made me reminisce the times before i wore my hijab.
The story of the article took place in a local college in Malaysia (obviously, because the scenario is familiar to a Malay environment). A young hijabless woman wanted to perform her prayers in a surau, but she accidently forgotten her telekung. She asked another young woman (who looks like she's done her prayer) if she can borrow her telekung for awhile. Instead of lending the hijabless woman, she dissed her so bad about her not wearing a hijab. She gotten so angry but she said nothing, until approached another well hijab-ed woman. Apologetically, she overheard the disses and scolded the mean woman for being rude and disrespectful towards another sister of the same religion. Egotistically, the mean hijab woman kept on saying that the hijabless woman is a disgrace to the religion and she doesn't belong in the surau. The nice woman reminded her that, even in hijab is worthless if their character (akhlak) is bad. The mean woman went away resentfully. The nice woman lend her telekung to the hijabless woman, and they prayed together. After their prayers, the hijabless woman thanked the woman who saved her, and the nice woman praised her thoughtfulness. The hijabless said she wasn't worth the praise as she is sinful towards Allah for not covering up. The nice woman said,
"The soul is much more beautiful if its protected. I understand that we need time to change, but bear in mind, that time doesn't wait for us."
This simple story almost brought tears to me. Why? Because it really happens.
I was one of the women who was often dissed and shun away by this community of hijabis. I dare to say that they are so pretentious, they stopped and was friendly as soon as they knew my celebrity parents. How 'nice'.
These narrow minded people are one of the reason i stay a low profile during my years of studying. One minute they hate you, talk behind your back, next minute, they want to be your best friend. fakers! Me, just being who i am, don't really take notice of what they had to say about me, but what's annoying is when they hover around, being close to me like flies afterwards.
No. I don't hold any grudge upon them, but knowing how these community works, they're giving muslimah a bad name, and i'm ashamed of it. That's why i had this ideology of, why should i wear hijab when looking like them is making me like one of them? Of course, that's wrong to think like that, and i admit i wasn't mature about it. Wearing hijabs or covering our aurah in general is wajib, and has nothing to do with others. We are judged (akhirat) as an individual.
What im trying to say is, there is ALOT of mean hijabis out there that would diss you so bad. But lets not forget about the nice hijabis whom are willing to guide people like me sincerely. People like my best friend, CheQin. Just thinking, how lucky i am to got stuck to my CheQin so early, that these other mean girls doesn't mean a THING!!
As i go along the story, as soon as the nice hijab woman came in the story line, whatever she advised or said, is almost exactly as what CheQin told and taught me throughout our whole friendship. She prayed and advised me nonstop, and never scolded me for being an airhead. I guess, her prayers are semi-answered (along with people who cared to pray for me, like my mom) (its semi-answered because i don't pray as well as i should.. still a big sinner).
To mean and judgmental hijabis, reflect yourself, and your tongue. Approach and don't shun us. And don't be a hypocrite. Nobody likes that. And to all non hijabis, its ok. Find a friend and ask for guidance. Its not that hard when you're doing it with a true friend. And to nice hijabis, help us, and in syaa allah, we too can show you the way towards Allah together. Islam is a Beautiful religion. Let make it happen altogether and maintain brothers and sisters till Jannah. Ameen.
I personally considered myself as a stone heart-ed woman. I hardly care what others thought about me, and seldom take notice of those minor selfish happenings around me. But when i read this article, it made me reminisce the times before i wore my hijab.
The story of the article took place in a local college in Malaysia (obviously, because the scenario is familiar to a Malay environment). A young hijabless woman wanted to perform her prayers in a surau, but she accidently forgotten her telekung. She asked another young woman (who looks like she's done her prayer) if she can borrow her telekung for awhile. Instead of lending the hijabless woman, she dissed her so bad about her not wearing a hijab. She gotten so angry but she said nothing, until approached another well hijab-ed woman. Apologetically, she overheard the disses and scolded the mean woman for being rude and disrespectful towards another sister of the same religion. Egotistically, the mean hijab woman kept on saying that the hijabless woman is a disgrace to the religion and she doesn't belong in the surau. The nice woman reminded her that, even in hijab is worthless if their character (akhlak) is bad. The mean woman went away resentfully. The nice woman lend her telekung to the hijabless woman, and they prayed together. After their prayers, the hijabless woman thanked the woman who saved her, and the nice woman praised her thoughtfulness. The hijabless said she wasn't worth the praise as she is sinful towards Allah for not covering up. The nice woman said,
"The soul is much more beautiful if its protected. I understand that we need time to change, but bear in mind, that time doesn't wait for us."
This simple story almost brought tears to me. Why? Because it really happens.
I was one of the women who was often dissed and shun away by this community of hijabis. I dare to say that they are so pretentious, they stopped and was friendly as soon as they knew my celebrity parents. How 'nice'.
These narrow minded people are one of the reason i stay a low profile during my years of studying. One minute they hate you, talk behind your back, next minute, they want to be your best friend. fakers! Me, just being who i am, don't really take notice of what they had to say about me, but what's annoying is when they hover around, being close to me like flies afterwards.
No. I don't hold any grudge upon them, but knowing how these community works, they're giving muslimah a bad name, and i'm ashamed of it. That's why i had this ideology of, why should i wear hijab when looking like them is making me like one of them? Of course, that's wrong to think like that, and i admit i wasn't mature about it. Wearing hijabs or covering our aurah in general is wajib, and has nothing to do with others. We are judged (akhirat) as an individual.
What im trying to say is, there is ALOT of mean hijabis out there that would diss you so bad. But lets not forget about the nice hijabis whom are willing to guide people like me sincerely. People like my best friend, CheQin. Just thinking, how lucky i am to got stuck to my CheQin so early, that these other mean girls doesn't mean a THING!!
As i go along the story, as soon as the nice hijab woman came in the story line, whatever she advised or said, is almost exactly as what CheQin told and taught me throughout our whole friendship. She prayed and advised me nonstop, and never scolded me for being an airhead. I guess, her prayers are semi-answered (along with people who cared to pray for me, like my mom) (its semi-answered because i don't pray as well as i should.. still a big sinner).
To mean and judgmental hijabis, reflect yourself, and your tongue. Approach and don't shun us. And don't be a hypocrite. Nobody likes that. And to all non hijabis, its ok. Find a friend and ask for guidance. Its not that hard when you're doing it with a true friend. And to nice hijabis, help us, and in syaa allah, we too can show you the way towards Allah together. Islam is a Beautiful religion. Let make it happen altogether and maintain brothers and sisters till Jannah. Ameen.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Don't forget the Lotion!
I randomly remembered one funny scene during my e-day (seriously random)...
Topet bought my engagement ring, about a month earlier before the actual date. So i got a bit worried about my finger size (well, actually about my whole body weight).
Afraid that the ring won't fit my finger during the ceremony, my mom advised me to apply lotion on my hands, just to make it a bit slippery (bonus: soft hands.......).
Well, i was so nervous, i immediately forgot the tip!
So, when the ring wearing event took place (i was already nervous), my mom (who was sitting beside me), whispered harshly behind my back,
"Lotion!! I told you to apply lotion!"
OMG!! In that split second, i wanted to scream STOOOPPP!!!
I CANT BEAR THE EMBARRASSMENT!!!
but the ring fits anyway...
i wasn't that fat after all...
LOL! worrywart...
Topet bought my engagement ring, about a month earlier before the actual date. So i got a bit worried about my finger size (well, actually about my whole body weight).
Afraid that the ring won't fit my finger during the ceremony, my mom advised me to apply lotion on my hands, just to make it a bit slippery (bonus: soft hands.......).
Well, i was so nervous, i immediately forgot the tip!
So, when the ring wearing event took place (i was already nervous), my mom (who was sitting beside me), whispered harshly behind my back,
"Lotion!! I told you to apply lotion!"
OMG!! In that split second, i wanted to scream STOOOPPP!!!
I CANT BEAR THE EMBARRASSMENT!!!
but the ring fits anyway...
i wasn't that fat after all...
LOL! worrywart...
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Out of Glass
Dear future hubby,
You should know by now that I'm a Disney fan.. and now, so you know...
You should know by now that I'm a Disney fan.. and now, so you know...
Can you please get me a pair of these? (sparkly eyes)
with Love,
Puteri Nurul
p.s: delusional much, aint I?
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
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